Realistic plan to pay school fees or not?

[cargear01]

Hope to save 60k by the time ds is 5, hes 2 at the moment and I have 24k.

I am able to save around 1k a month towards this at the moment (I do this without factoring in the cms below and can manage).

it would mean when school fees start that I could pay half from the 60k and half from my own income. I haven’t included cms in my calculations as I don’t want to ‘rely’ on it (insane that that’s the state of this country but I’m working on worst case scenario). That said, ex currently pays 700 maintenance and he is a workaholic so I suspect it will go up. He works in the nhs so can’t really get out of it.

do you think my plan is doable? Should I be doing more? Is it totally unrealistic? I have assumed fees will be around 18k a year when dc starts, taking account of inflation.

I looked at this when DD was little. I decided that with additional costs and wraparound care at the school, I would be better to buy a house in the catchment area of the best state school I could. Given life events which happened, this was the right thing to do. Also a single parent with no support where we live but I didn’t have that anyway (nor CMS as her dad did not pay).
An important point is that your child’s father also has a say in the school being chosen, especially if you decide to move. If private school is on the agenda, then he needs to be involved in that decision.

I really do think only the super rich should bother with private primaries before they even try a local state. Ours has been outstanding for both kids and we've been able to give them loads of extra experiences / lifestyle benefits by not having fees to pay.

Agreed that's not everyone's experience but each school and each child is so different how do you know until you try??

Then that means a comfortable slide into private secondary which I definitely think is nearly always worth the big bucks

If you are using state primary and not saving so hard so have a bit more spare money, you might not be quite so dependent on support network? Plus you will hopefully make a new support network via nursery/school if you move. If it’s a well regarded primary school then hopefully has engaged parents and would be a good place to make friends.

I know it feels like a leap though.

@Heather37231 one of my friends did this with her son. As he had had no experience of starting again by going from nursery to primary then primary to secondary he really struggled with going to university and was on the verge of dropping out. He ended up having to resit one of his years at university. At the time my friend said that she regretted taking the all the way through option for his education.

Hi OP.
How bad are the local primaries?
We were going to send DC1 to private primary as the one he was at was dire (mainly due to some of the parents) - here are just a few examples:
A fight broke out at pick up between 2 sets of parents, a police officer had to be stationed at the school gates for a few weeks
The sats results were poor.
There was a knife incident from a former pupil who tried to get on the grounds.

The teachers tried their best but when you deal with people who don't value education, it's very hard.

Fortunately he got a place at another local state primary school and thrived there. He's now at the local grammar.

I would put off private school for as long as possible as it doesn't sound you can sustain private education fees for 14 years. Ideally send your DC to a good / OK state primary and get tutoring in yr 5 for entrance exams. In the meantime keep saving and make sure your ex contributes now - he may not be able to in the future, if he meets a new partner and they have DC.

I was privately educated until my parents ran out of money. Got GCSEs and A levels at state school. There's lots of good stuff about private education. But private schools are highly commercial and ultimately unless you qualify for a bursary they will not keep your child on roll if you can't pay the fees.

My daughter is at a small local academy school which is both nurturing and challenging. She's doing brilliantly, is close to home, putting down local roots and I don't have to pay a penny for it.

My son’s school is 3 separate schools but under the same brand and the right to be admitted carries through from one to the next. At each stage new kids join from other places and the numbers increase. It’s no different to everyone moving from state primary to the local state secondary based on where they live. In fact there is an extra transition between years 2 and 3 that a child in state primary that goes R to 6 would not get.

(and it doesn’t offer nursery).

I still believe that 7+ and/or 11+ are worth avoiding if possible.

How unusual.

If you are concerned about the local state primaries not prepping your son for the entrance exam for private secondary (and remember not all private schools are academically selective, our local small private just requires children to be at “meeting expectations” or higher) you can look at a tutor in the year before he’ll sit the exams. The main thing I’ve found is that when you get the child registered with the school is a key factor as it’s the next thing they look at after exam results.

Thanks for some really helpful responses.

I am not concerned about academic success, what will be will be on that front and I believe that’s largely down to parental input regardless of the school. It’s more about the wider experience and to avoid ds being exposed to bad influence. I’m well aware that there’s scope for bad influence at a private school, and that there are millions of great people at state schools, but if we looks at the odds on that score, he’s likely to have an easier time at a private school.

GRRRR.
send your child to a state school. Nothing better.

I wish all folks, even those that can afford private schools would send their children to state funded ones just so the government is forced to improve the qualities of our state schools. This of course, includes the politicians’ children themselves but eh … we are where we are at.

All the very best with your plans, OP.

I work at a private school. If Labour gets in at the next election they will be putting VAT on to private school fees, so that will be another 20% on top! We have parents worrying already! & do not forget extras like school uniform, which usually has to be purchased from the school or particular store and trips and extra curriculum activities, which private schools do a lot of.

I think you'll be fine if you set your mind to it OP although do consider state primary and private secondary as obviously that gives you lots more time to save. DS starts private this year. DD will follow in 5 years. Both in state primary now. I've lost count of the posts I've read over the last year that suggest you shouldn't privately educate if you earn less than £400k a year, that fees will triple in a few years, that uniform and extras will cost you the same as the fees. Often posted by those who haven't done their research or could afford school fees if they didn't have a mortgage of £3k etc. It sounds like you're doing a good job of planning ahead.

In the nicest possible way, you don’t sound like you can comfortably afford this. Start off in state. I honestly hand on heart do not believe my son would have had a better outcome or been happier at a private school. In fact he benefitted from having a decent number of kids in his class. Some kids do better, some worse. It’s not a given that it’s better at all. See how he gets on in a state school. They are genuinely much better at some things.

You may need to be realistic though. Secondary school is when it really can make a difference, and costs a lot more! I'd be inclined to save for that. There are usually lots of primary schools in an area so if the first one you try doesn't work for your DS you can always move him......

But if you are determined - it does sound doable at the moment. However, things may change - and you could end up moving DS back into state education later on. Surely that would be a worse scenario?

Look into bursaries and scholarships. My friend didn't pay anything for her first child and very little for her second to go to private school.

Personally I would use that £60k to move into the catchment area for an absolutely cracking state primary... despite your preconceptions they do exist.

'to avoid ds being exposed to bad influence. I’m well aware that there’s scope for bad influence at a private school, and that there are millions of great people at state schools, but if we looks at the odds on that score, he’s likely to have an easier time at a private school.'

Wow - have you actually spent time in a private school? Parents having a bigger bank balance does not immediately equate to nicer children.

You need to factor in

• inflation to fees
• a fair amount of expensive side costs you probably haven’t budgeted for like trips and costly uniform requirements
• fees inevitably increasing considerably when charitable status for schools is lost
• any potential change to your circumstances - private schools will not stand idly by when you can’t afford the fees -for that term - out your child will go.

If you are sending your offspring to a private school because you yourself had a bad experience in state education, that’s really sad. There’s absolutely no guarantee they will do well at a private school - indeed their experience if not an A* pupil across the board is likely to be considerably worse.

Sorry OP but thats really silly logic. You had a bad time at primary school but that was you at your school - it doesnt mean your child will have a similar sort of time (different kid, different children, different school)
He is just as likely to for some reason have an awful time at private school.

Insane.

1. Find an outstanding state primary and out DS in it
2. Top him up with all manner of sports, music, language and tech lessons and trips and travel with part of that money
3. Pensions
4. Savings
5. University fund
6. house deposit fund
7. start a SIPP for him.

there you go - that’s your £1000 a month for his actual future.

My goodness - what an insane plan you’ve made to chuck all that money at private schooling when you’ve got no other savings!

Christ what have I just read. This thread isn’t real perhaps …

"he’s likely to have an easier time at a private school."

Thats just not true. Hugely sweeping statement.
A friend of mine - her child was sexually assaualted in the playground by a fellow private school child. Friend complained but the school essentially refused to do anything because the kid who assualted her, her parents were donated huge sums of money to the school.
For sure, state schools arent perfect but private ones arent either. And there are plenty of "bad" "undesirable" influences within private schools.

I pay £7.5k per term for fees and school lunches. This does not include school uniform, PE kit (summer and winter for both), instruments, music classes, after school clubs, wrap around care, or other extracurricular activities etc. If VAT comes in I’ll be paying an additional 20%. The school has already told us it will be passed on to us.

So think very carefully if you are needing to budget and set money aside to cover it. It may be better to invest that money to cover private high school fees.