To have emailed the attendance officer!

[SummerDays2020]

Today my DD had an ASD assessment and she was diagnosed with Autism. She was in school before the appointment and again after even though she was tired and upset because I thought I better send her back in because of her attendance. She has been at this school since a few weeks before Christmas and has had 5 days off. 3 for a heavy cold with a fever in her second week and 2 as she had D&V last week. She has severe anxiety and struggles every morning with the transition to school but apart from when she was ill she's gone in every day. She was in every day this week.

I got home from picking her up from school and checked my emails. I had an email from the attendance officer. Telling me that she may not authorise absences without medical evidence. All sorts of nonsense about 'support' and a 'plan' which amounted to - DD must have 97% attendance over the next 6 weeks and the threat about not authorising absences. Oh and she also reminded me that term time holidays can only be authorised in exceptional circumstances! I've not asked for a term time holiday!!

It honestly made me so angry. Every morning is a battle. It is so hard, I sometimes have to literally prize her fingers off me. She tries so hard and does so well, but instead of a well done we get this! It was just the kick in the teeth I didn't need today.

I replied that sending me this on the day of her assessment was nicely timed. I told her how hard it is for DD and me but I've got her in every morning except when she was unwell. I told her it was her choice not to authorise absence but as a nurse I knew how irresponsible it would be of me to send her in with a fever or D&V and equally how irresponsible to take her to the GP in these circumstances for 'medical evidence'. I also said I could see nothing about support or a plan only a threat and although I have worked very happily with school staff to support my DD I would not be threatened.

I wouldn't have minded if she'd emailed to see if she could support us. But it was just judgement and certainty not an email that encourages me to want to work with her on Dd's attendance!

How annoying! As you say, you're trying to engage. Surely, that should be encouraged!

Update When I took DD into school yesterday her HOY came down and asked to have a word. Basically, he apologised about the email and said he wasn't happy about the wording. He told me he realises the figures are skewed and he knows I do my best to get my DD into school. He said he really wants to continue working together as we have been. So a good result!

I think they do, yes.

I understand that, but I feel they could do it in a way not to get parents back up.

As for attendance and COVID, I think part of it is DC with Long Covid as there is little support. My DD is still on the waiting list 2 years on!

I didn't need reminding - it's made blatantly clear on a regular basis as it is. Just because my DD has been ill it doesn't mean I'm now planning a term time holiday!

Wow, really? Sounds crazy!

It does hurt, doesn't it?

That's good you have evidence!

Oh my goodness, that would drive me insane!!

That doesn't sound good atall! 235? Your poor DD.

The way schools are going and the rate school staff are leaving to fill corporate jobs for more money and less hours (and less abuse) something will have to give.

Parents will be up in arms at 4 days weeks, or shortened hours are whatever they decide.

So frustrating the complete lack of any critical thinking. As highlighted by the above post "duh it's the government's fault, blame them, I'm only following orders"!

Or just doing their job as dictated to by the government.

Just like you ‘do your job’

Well done OP and well done HoY.

This demonstrates why it's always worth responding to demeaning or upsetting correpondence in respect of SEND/disability issues. Not only has the school recognised the unreasonable correspondence as a threat to good home/school relations and has repaired the relationship with OP, but it's a pretty good bet they have clocked the need to avoid sending similar to other SEND families.

It's total nonsense from the government but a good school would handle this better. Surely someone can see how your dd is struggling and show some empathy? They might have to send the letter but they should speak to you and explain it. Awful the way schools are behaving now.

From speaking to her HOY? Yes, she wouldn't have known she was diagnosed but she could of known it was a possibility and to maybe send an email on a different day!

Yes, I did my up most to get DD into the school which suggests I'm an engaged parent. So why send me a snippy email? My email was much more reasonable and polite than hers! Yes, she's doing her job, which I assume is to increase attendance. So alienating engaged parents is hardly doing your job well. I don't think her 'doing her job' means I can't challenge her email. At the end of the day my job as a parent is to have my Dd's back - which I did.

It wasn't a standard email so clearly she is able to amend it and the HOY said as much.

If they are not there to offer support why did she talk of support and putting a plan into place. Her role definitely is to support. She sent the email so obviously I will reply to her! And I am seeking support - that's the life of an ASD parent!!

Yes, I know how it works which is why I know that email was unreasonable. I never had threats from her Primary.

I have made difference long term for my DD.

Exactly. I find it bizarre that someone would not want to have their DC's back, in whatever way they think is best.

I had the same with my son during Covid when they had to be off school for 10 days following a positive test. I emailed and called them. I was so cross.

And I'm just doing my job as a parent. There are also plenty of parents thinking FFS and if attendance officers reflected on that maybe they'd be able to do their job better.

No abuse here.

The government does not dictate schools threaten parents. Not all attendance officers do this. Surely there should be an expectation they do their job well and follow DoE guidance?

Yes, I agree. It is always ok to respond as long as done reasonably and politely. And it has given a chance for myself and the school to chat about it and move on, which I'm very happy about.

I asked that once. Their reply was to take them to school for their mark and they would send them home if they deemed it necessary.

I didnt have the patience for attendance officers though. I just ignored them and did what I'd always done when my kids were ill.

I think a good chunk of additional absence is down to untreated (due to government cuts) mental health conditions and SEN children not getting the appropriate support (due to government cuts). It really doesn't take much to see how we can improve absence rates but the government would rather blame parents than taking responsibility for the appalling lack of funds for children's education and health.

Yes, I believe it could be handled better as it was at DD's Primary. Hopefully they will figure that out.

That's annoying because it makes no sense!

How is dragging an ill DC out to school in the DC's best interests? And how is it in the staff and pupil's best interests to have an ill DC brought in to spread their virus around?

You often see staff complaining that parents bring their DC in when they are ill, but you often seem to have the attendance officer telling parents to do just that!

Absolutely! The causes of absence need to be dealt with. Alienating the parents is never going to work. I mean at the extreme end sending a parent to prison? How is that going to help them get their DC to school? They can't actually do anything from behind bars! I know it is rare for that to happen but ideologically it makes no sense.