To have emailed the attendance officer!

[SummerDays2020]

Today my DD had an ASD assessment and she was diagnosed with Autism. She was in school before the appointment and again after even though she was tired and upset because I thought I better send her back in because of her attendance. She has been at this school since a few weeks before Christmas and has had 5 days off. 3 for a heavy cold with a fever in her second week and 2 as she had D&V last week. She has severe anxiety and struggles every morning with the transition to school but apart from when she was ill she's gone in every day. She was in every day this week.

I got home from picking her up from school and checked my emails. I had an email from the attendance officer. Telling me that she may not authorise absences without medical evidence. All sorts of nonsense about 'support' and a 'plan' which amounted to - DD must have 97% attendance over the next 6 weeks and the threat about not authorising absences. Oh and she also reminded me that term time holidays can only be authorised in exceptional circumstances! I've not asked for a term time holiday!!

It honestly made me so angry. Every morning is a battle. It is so hard, I sometimes have to literally prize her fingers off me. She tries so hard and does so well, but instead of a well done we get this! It was just the kick in the teeth I didn't need today.

I replied that sending me this on the day of her assessment was nicely timed. I told her how hard it is for DD and me but I've got her in every morning except when she was unwell. I told her it was her choice not to authorise absence but as a nurse I knew how irresponsible it would be of me to send her in with a fever or D&V and equally how irresponsible to take her to the GP in these circumstances for 'medical evidence'. I also said I could see nothing about support or a plan only a threat and although I have worked very happily with school staff to support my DD I would not be threatened.

I wouldn't have minded if she'd emailed to see if she could support us. But it was just judgement and certainty not an email that encourages me to want to work with her on Dd's attendance!

The email was actually not just a standard one, although most of it probably was. And that's fine except it's not actually helping families with attendance, it's probably doing the opposite.

You're right, though I should try not to take it personally and get stressed, but unfortunately I do and the knock on effect is to my mental health.

As a mum of a child with autism that has debated this topic with school multiple times, I now know it is best to ignore stuff about attendance.

Since doing this, nothing has happened, apart from me not getting pissed off every so often when they start talking nonsense.

I simply tell them she is ill or off due to autism related stuff and refer them to my child’s autism report and recommendations when necessary. There’s not much they can say to that.

I waste no more time/headspace with school staff who show little understanding or empathy for children being ill, or needing time off due to issues that autism causes my child to have.

I hope your daughter is ok.

I’m a teacher and the current push on attendance takes no consideration in to the issues many children still face over the global pandemic, an additional needs or anything else. Your email sounds fine and if the attendance officer isn’t working closely with the senco, they should be.

It’s so hard if your child is refusing to go to school due to anxiety or whatever other issues they are facing - I hope the assessment went well. Sounds like you’re doing a cracking job x

My DC’s school are very reluctant to send children home when they’re feeling ill, due to the focus on attendance, instead calling parents to ask if them to bring painkillers in. Maybe a good idea in principle but due to the rural location it means a 15 mile round trip for us and many other parents - it’s our catchment school and so the distance isn’t our choice. Then if the painkillers don’t work, they expect you to return again a bit later to collect your child.

I had a problem with attendance with my son who would regularly get 40 plus temps. I said to the school what do you want me to do - am I meant to be sending him with 40 plus temps? They said as long as he was not unwell in himself...than yes! Send him in with 40 plus temperatures. I ended up regularly sending him in for the attendance check at 9am and he would leave school immediately after the role call and go home again to rest at home - and that would satisfy the school headteacher who was worried about her attendance figures. It meant it only showed up as two afternoons off rather than two full days.

I'm involved in attendance in primary and honestly, I don't always agree with what we have to do. But we have to do what the Head instructs us. And he strictly follows the guidelines set out by the DfE because Ofsted. I hate that the percentages are standard and don't change across the year, it's a misuse of statistics in my book. I hate that the guidelines say that schools should hold high expectations of attendance for ALL children, particularly for those with SEN, as those are the children who need to be in school the most/equality blah blah blah. There's no looking at individual circumstances, the reason WHY an individual child was off on a particular day.

I used to try to argue for some children's cases at attendance meetings eg gentle suggestions that sending out a particular letter will alienate a family who is going through a lot and doing their best but I'm just the little voice of reason and common sense in the corner but "no, everyone deserves to be treated the same, and have the same access to school", making out that it's in the child's best interests. I just don't agree. Sometimes the people at these meetings saying these things barely know the families. I am the one seeing them come into school every day, talking to them, sympathising, seeing the efforts they're going to to make sure their child attends as much as possible under the difficult circumstances they're under.

It all just causes bad feeling. Leadership just want the letters sent out and that's that. But I'm the one who takes the calls from upset parents. I know the families who are lax about attendance for no good reason. And I know the ones who are lax about attendance because the children don't like school and they pull the wool over the parents' eyes about feeling sick, and I know the ones who are genuinely struggling and doing their best. THey all have to get the same letters. On the phone I adjust my response accordingly.

It's the right response. It's nothing to do with being sick of you. Keep them informed, provide medical evidence where you can. etc etc. It's what parents should be doing, makes the staff's job easier, shows engagement with school attendance policies etc.

@SummerDays2020 please don’t worry ,even if it wasn’t a generic email it was probably a good chunk cut and pasted of the things attendance officers “have” to say, I’ve had 2 letters recently very much along the same lines (even though my kids have about 93 and 92% attendance last term) suggesting the need to make a “management plan” . I also have a ND girl who is now doing exceedingly well at school but occasionally has a mega meltdown and I’d rather she has 1 day off school ( where she actually gets on and does the work she has to do !) rather than push her to go on and risk her getting back to the poor mental state she was in a couple of years ago. I did feel quite insulted though ,i have a chronic illness myself so I would always prefer my kids in school than out! That’s said I do know kids who literally do choose to have regular time off as their parents aren’t too bothered!

I agree with you. It's galling that there is minimal help for kids with ASD, particularly if they mask well in school, yet schools still clamp down hard on their attendance. A child with ASD may be able to attend every day, all day, IF certain things were in place eg quiet place for them to go at break and lunchtime away from the rowdiness of the yard etc, but in a lot of schools particularly secondary it's unlikely that they'll be able to provide this, and every child is just expected to get on with it.

I used to hate the noise and hustle and bustle of non-classroom time in school, but in those days you were allowed to go home for dinner, which I did each day. It helped me manage the whole day better. You can't do that these days, I feel for the quiet teenage kids who have nowhere peaceful to go at lunchtime and have the horrible loud bully types to deal with, with minimal supervision.

The attendance officer is doing what they have been told to do. It sounds like you made it personal by saying it was nicely timed etc.

In some circumstances it is likely to constitute unlawful disability discrimination. So schools and acaemy chains better brace - 'we have to treat everyone the same' simply won't wash against the requirements of the Equality Act 2010. And public servants who don't understand this are part of the problem.

And telling disabled people and their families 'not to take it personally', is the 21st century version of shameless racist comedians complaining black people who objected, lacked a sense of humour.

We didn't just get a letter we got a patronising email to go with it

Interesting. My DD is also in year 7 and I got this same email this week. She has missed a number of sessions but that doesn't match the days off she has had. I emailed asking when they have it documented as her being off as she has medical appointments for wellbeing and I was told these don't count but her numbers suggest they do.

They said if she misses more I'll be invited to a meeting. I emailed asking questions saying feel free to call me on or I'm happy to pop in when suits and no response which has pissed me off even more. If it's important enough to send an email, it's important enough to respond to me.

Thank you. I will try to follow your approach.

Thank you, that's so kind.

That does sound very inconvenient.

Sounds like you're doing your level best for the DC and their families - I'm sure they appreciate it.

There was one line in this letter that seemed to have been added to the standard template - it said something like - we are aware you do your best to get DC into school every day. But then went on to say basically that's not good enough. If I'm already doing my best how can they expect me to do more!

I am so sorry OP. We have different struggles but I can absolutely empathise. It feels like school and the various supports are working in silos to such specific criteria and tick boxes they can’t look at the bigger picture of the individual child.

we have also had the telling off email about school attendance. DD had actually been sent home unwell from school the week before. Two weeks before that she was vomiting at 7am so funnily enough she had to have the school mandated 48 hours away from school.

in the autumn the whole school got an email reminding parents to send children in with only minor ailments like a runny nose / cough etc.

Well that’s clearly worked too well as this week the head teacher sent a letter asking parents to keep children home with any sickness or flu symptoms (including runny nose and cough) as there is almost no well children in one class! They had to send home almost one third!!

I agree it’s awful that parents are made to feel like this. I think it’s discriminatory against children who are less healthy or just unlucky and catch lots of stuff in one term. My DS had 4 weeks off in Y1 - spread over different parts of the year, but he was prone to bronchiolitis and kept getting it that year. He was in hospital at one point but we still got the threatening letters. I figured out the person who signed and sent them was absolutely lovely and hated that she was being made to write this crap and after that I just ignored it all. My DS is healthier these days (fingers crossed) but I think al schools have got worse with the whole attendance bollocks. Incidentally my DS also did next to no work during the first lockdown but still passed the 11+ for some super selective grammars and one of the top independent schools in the country so bollocks to all that. Sick children need to stay at home

Attendance officers think they're the fucking police sometimes. I actually threatened to ring the police when it was suggested they wouldn't allow my teenage DD to be collected when she had been sick. She rang me from the toilets so obviously I called school and her argument was 'nobody heard her being sick' I said I should fucking hope nobody followed her from class to the toilet! My sister (who also has a child at the same school) was on her way to collect her (I don't drive and was at work 30 miles away) and they let her leave when she got there 😡

i am saying it makes the parent’s life easier, not the kids. I work in a school and I hear every day the number of parents sending their sick kid to school because they have an important work meeting, they cannot miss work etc! So yes, they do send them to school sick because they cannot rearrange child care. Why else do you think they send them in ill?

This. Well done! :)

Hi, I also have an ASD child who has struggled at secondary (and primary) and have developed a really thick skin over the years re. attendance threats. It’s some person doing their job by the book- they don’t and can’t in some circumstances use common sense (due to whatever the academy’s policy is). Never had a fine, never provided medical evidence. I just ignore it all. Made it to Year 10 so far … Attendance is hovering around the mid 80s and that’s impressive considering what my child has struggled with. You are doing a great job. Ignore it all.

The attendance police actually turned up at our house unannounced a couple of weeks ago. DS has had a nasty chest infection and really needed to be home. In fact they nearly made him late for the GP appointment that I managed to get for him. Prior to this he hadn't been off all this school year and no lates either so he's not someone with form for absence. I can't help wondering if these visits use some kind of profiling - single mum/SEN involved/scuzzy postcode = target you, married to a dr/NT kids/live in a posh area = carry on as you are.