To have emailed the attendance officer!

[SummerDays2020]

Today my DD had an ASD assessment and she was diagnosed with Autism. She was in school before the appointment and again after even though she was tired and upset because I thought I better send her back in because of her attendance. She has been at this school since a few weeks before Christmas and has had 5 days off. 3 for a heavy cold with a fever in her second week and 2 as she had D&V last week. She has severe anxiety and struggles every morning with the transition to school but apart from when she was ill she's gone in every day. She was in every day this week.

I got home from picking her up from school and checked my emails. I had an email from the attendance officer. Telling me that she may not authorise absences without medical evidence. All sorts of nonsense about 'support' and a 'plan' which amounted to - DD must have 97% attendance over the next 6 weeks and the threat about not authorising absences. Oh and she also reminded me that term time holidays can only be authorised in exceptional circumstances! I've not asked for a term time holiday!!

It honestly made me so angry. Every morning is a battle. It is so hard, I sometimes have to literally prize her fingers off me. She tries so hard and does so well, but instead of a well done we get this! It was just the kick in the teeth I didn't need today.

I replied that sending me this on the day of her assessment was nicely timed. I told her how hard it is for DD and me but I've got her in every morning except when she was unwell. I told her it was her choice not to authorise absence but as a nurse I knew how irresponsible it would be of me to send her in with a fever or D&V and equally how irresponsible to take her to the GP in these circumstances for 'medical evidence'. I also said I could see nothing about support or a plan only a threat and although I have worked very happily with school staff to support my DD I would not be threatened.

I wouldn't have minded if she'd emailed to see if she could support us. But it was just judgement and certainty not an email that encourages me to want to work with her on Dd's attendance!

You know what I do? I email, and email, and email.
They're sick of me.
I email in the morning when it's clear DD isn't going to school, sick at 2am? Yep, shoot off an email, up at 6 and she's got D&V, they get the email.
A few hours into the day, an update, if DDs needed to see a Dr or get antibiotics or something, another email with proof of appt or medication box, or I'll say, she's still being sick. I think she will be in on xx
They've stopped replying.

But the emails about supporting her education with a higher attendance have also stopped too.

You really are doing so well supporting your dd to get into school. I know how hard and heartbreaking it is when your child has school anxiety and also what an emotional day it is when you get an autism diagnosis. It really is a ridiculous agenda to push. Don't let the email distract you from knowing you're doing a great job

And then more kids getting sick and their attendance figures lower!

I didn't realise how it would affect me as I was expecting it. I was glad she went back to school as I had a good cry.

It's a shame because the teachers and LSAs have been brilliant and I've built a great rapport with everyone. This just feels like it's soured things. But I need to not think that because the teachers and LSAs know us, this attendance officer does not so I shouldn't really care about her judgement.

Confused why it was a ridiculous comment

I think the poster was suggesting that sometimes a parent might send a DC in when they are ill as otherwise they get in trouble for attendance.

I work in a school that is in the lowest 10% of attendance due to persistent absence in the county. Their job is very important in helping support families get their children to school and working with the safeguarding team as appropriate . Not all absences are due to genuine illness or medical appointments, and persistent absence has a massive impact on outcomes for those students. That's why the job exists.

I could have written your post a few years ago before my son was diagnosed as autistic. He cried every morning, vomitted, had headaches, cried all the way to school and clung to me every morning at the school gates.

He's diagnosed as autistic and 15. He's been through burnout so many times and has poor mental health and school trauma which we're still trying to sort out. He has suicidal tendancies (attempted 3 times), medicated and under a psychiatrist. He has been out of school for over a year now as his EHCP is not fit for purpose and I'm still thrashing it out with the LA.

The school are concerned about their attendance numbers for Ofsted. You're concerned about your child. It seems there is no support for your child coming from the school. If your child is distressed in the morning then I would keep them at home if possible. Speak to the SENCo and headteacher about the situation and ask them to put in some strategies to help your child feel safe and happy in school. If this doesn't happen or they try and blame you (quite usual), then keep them at home and initiate the EHCP process. Speak to SENDIASS for advice and help.

Ask your GP for a letter explaining this is affecting your child's mental health and wellbeing. Do not be intimidated by the EWO or the school putting pressure on you to get your child into school no matter what. Keep all correspondence to letter or email so you have a paper trail.

Here's a link to the IPSEA website which gives advice on schools providing education to children who cannot attend school. Also have a look at EBSA.

Sending best wishes to you and your child. 💐

But it’s not properly used in most schools.

Most schools simply look at ‘oooh - Sam is on 92% attendance’ and get heavy handed rather than actually engaging the brain.

Oh look - he was off for a week when half of the class had Noro.

Oh, we send him home Wednesday with fever so unsurprisingly he missed the following two days.

Oh, his attendance for the last two terms has been brilliant but this year he’s just been unlucky owing to a lot of illness.

I can guarantee you that if you give the head or DSL a list of the children with poor attendance they can tell you immediately who needs support and who needs to be left alone to get better.

And so many parents will keep their children off for very little reason now.

op’s daughter has been off for a full week out of attending the school for about 6. Of course that will get a letter of concern. It is a huge percentage.

@SummerDays2020 why has she changed schools?

Does not the Equalities Act apply to schools? Your DD has a diagnosed neurodiversity.

Or even basic Health and Safety law?

I'm all for improving attendance, perhaps it should start with absent MPs losing their job unless medically certified.

Because parents don't send their ill children to school to make their lives easier ffs

Firstly, just to echo that you sound like such a lovely Mummy, your DD is so lucky to have you fighting her corner. The timing was awful, the letter was insensitive, your email was absolutely justified and so reasonable. But schools have no control over this, it is one of a long list of hoop-jumping exercises for Ofsted and nothing more. If you get another one treat it like junk mail: straight in the bin.

For some context, I work in school admin (but not in attendance) and have done for 24 years. The fault here lies squarely with the government. The Attendance Officer is a human doing their job, and believe me they take no joy in sending these letters. The fact is that they have no choice: when Ofsted come knocking they have to be able to prove, by showing written evidence of letters sent, what the school has done to address attendance below a certain percentage regardless of the reason(s). Ofsted don’t give a shiny shit about individual pupils’/families’ circumstances.

In the state system there is no money for admin staff. None. So that Attendance Officer will likely be stretched to capacity doing all manner of other admin tasks as well as sending out attendance letters, hence why you received what sounds like a template. They will have gone in to the role looking for an opportunity to help people who need it, not to be a “jobsworth”.

Big hugs to you and your lovely DD, have a great weekend.

I'm so sorry to hear about your DS's struggles. And I really hope some support is put in place so he can continue his education. Sending you love and best wishes.

The school actually have been very supportive to my DD. She struggles with the transition of going in but 9/10 comes out happy. But I absolutely take your point that autistic DC may need days off due to their autism and I need to not be scared of the attendance officer and then make her go in if it's in her best interests to stay at home. In all honesty, I probably should have not sent her in after her appointment. She was mentally drained. She only went back for one lesson but it seems she was upset throughout and just cuddled her cat teddy. She did have an LSA sitting with her and looking after her.

She was moving from Primary to Secondary, but I had to go to appeal to get her into the school she is at and so she started late.

And yes 5 days out of 6 weeks is a huge percentage, if she'd had the same 5 days off in the Summer term it wouldn't be. But it would still be the same 5 days! So the percentage has to be interpreted. It has to be looked at intelligently. It is the winter with lots of COVID and viruses. 3 days off for a cold with fever doesn't seem unreasonable. Then in the last couple of weeks lots of stomach bugs. 2 days off with this again not unreasonable.

But let's say perhaps there was concern that a stomach ache was actually due to anxiety or something like this. Perhaps the school and parent could work together to reduce this type of absence? Is it likely that a threatening letter will encourage the parent to work with the school? I think it is unlikely. Let's say the parent let the DC have days off because they don't value education. Is a threatening letter going to help in this situation? I don't believe so.

I have two ND children with difficulties attending school. One school regularly sends letters about attendance. They are really unpleasant - I assume it's because legally they have to warn you of the potential consequences of non-attendance in case legal action is taken later. I just don't read them any more.

It's frustrating when you are doing everything you can and are treated as if you just need to try harder.

Schools are forced to be obsessed with attendance above anything else. This is a government obsession, who put attendance above Mental Health … we need fewer attendance officers, and more CAMHS workers.

My daughter missed all of y10 & y11 .. her Autism was undiagnosed, and she developed anxiety, and suffered from terrible burnout.

luckily school were very supportive, I was never pressured to drag her in, threatened with fines or anything else. I think she would have physically harmed herself (and me) if I had to force her in.

This notion that there are loads of feckless parents allowing kids to bunk off, is not a supportable theory. Thing is to sort out the actual mental health crisis in young people will cost money that the govt don’t want to spend

Not Fine in School is a great resource

For us .. she managed to pass 5 GCSEs, she didn’t go up college straight away, she needed another year. Now on Sertraline, with a great psychiatrist, and has just finished Semester 1 at college.

Thank you, that is very kind.

I have to admit I sent the email impulsively which is why I then thought have I done the right thing? But although I was very direct, I was also polite. Is it really just junk mail if it threatens me?

I do understand this comes from Ofsted and the government and I absolutely blame them. However, I do also believe the school can choose their approach. At her last school when she had Long Covid it affected her attendance but her school never threatened me. They phoned for a chat about how they could support DD. At the end of the day if schools want to increase attendance, then it makes sense for them to do so in a way that works, not one that get's peoples' backs' up.

Well done to your DD - what an achievement!

And yes, absolutely the real cause of attendance issues needs to be dealt with. But as you say - that costs money!

Doesn’t mean school have to tar everyone with the same brush, though. Wording and tone are important. No one would have minded a message of support or even an enquiry, I’m sure. My lad had excellent attendance but last year was dreadful. Illness after illness and his attendance was at 93%. No one batted an eyelid. This year we’re back to normal. I want him to learn that you go in, yes, and work hard. But when you’re ill, you stay at home - to get better more quickly and to avoid spreading it.
You sound great OP. 🌸

There were special attendance codes for covid (positive test/self-isolation/long covid etc), where essentially all covid-related absences were classed as authorised, but those codes no longer exist. I’m glad your DDs school were supportive at that time, the guidance schools got back then was awful and seemed to change daily, making it virtually impossible to know what to do/say!

These are automated emails that have to go out to every kid whose attendance drops regardless.

It's ridiculous yes but schools just don't have the staff / bandwidth to deal with every email on a case by case basis - Ofsted need them to tick the box that says "parents are contacted and told about consequences when attendance drops below xx"

Don't take it so personally, just ignore it - otherwise you will get very very stressed about something you know you can't do anything about.

Thank you so much and yes, I completely agree.

Yup had a similar email over here apparently I should check on the NHS website to see if my ds is considered well enough for school but they tell you to keep them off with sickness and diarrhea which is what ds was off with he caught it from someone who went in feeling unwell who puked everywhere really pissed me off

How incredibly frustrating!