To think she should look for work?

[Daisydoodo]

my sister is on the migration from tax credits to universal credit. Her husband works and earns around £25k a year and does not aspire to earn anymore she has 6 children 3 over 16 and 3 5-16years she was complaining today that she may be expected to start looking for work when she migrates and how she thinks it’s unfair as she is only just getting her life back now the 5yo is in full time school. AIBU to tell her to get a grip and get a job? I feel awful for saying it but it’s getting on my nerves as I was expected to return after 6 months mat leave. Should the UC system force her to look for work

I'd froth more at companies paying piss poor wages. Taxpayers subsidise Tesco/ Sainsbury/ B&Q/Homebase type companies and all lower waged employers and all the ilk while raking massive profits.
Some people will never have more than NLW earning power, saying get a better job is futile, who would employ them?

Pride doesn't pay bills, hard cash does that.
It's easier to have a go at peoples life choices but it often bites at a later age, when friends are taking early retirement and they will still be working because the safety net is no longer there as DC have left and they have to work.

Funny how OP hasn't been back. Almost as if the thread has done what it needs to do. And people fall for it every time.

I’m sure all families are very charming, yours included. The UK is already very densely populated, a family of such a size, depending on an income of 25k is being bank rolled by the tax payer via tax credits or universal credit. I’m not telling anyone to NOT have children, I’m saying whoever has them should expect to pay their way to a greater degree. That’s the job description as far as I can make out, along with a load of other super fun and hard things. Benefits should be for people on really hard times, not career layabouts who don’t wish to earn.

And it's noone else's fault she chose to have 6 kids, so it shouldn't be up to the government to fund her staying at home now all the children are in full time education. Lots of women would love to be stay at home mums but can't afford too, so they have to work instead. That's life.

No more responses from the OP. Think this is a DM journalist looking for a few outraged quotes to copy and paste into an article about benefit scroungers.

Totally agree. I find it odd that MNers who advocate strongly against climate change are also the ones that don't want to discourage large families and don't see the contradiction. More people = bigger carbon footprint and it all adds towards climate change.

Perhaps we need to penalise people who have more than the replacement rate of children rather than pay them more in benefits, as each new person adds so much to the carbon footprint of the planet.

Doubt it, they don’t have to go looking very hard for these stories, plenty of it about

There isn't a problem with people having too many children.

People should be turfed out to work when their own children reach school age. If not paid work they should be forced to do community work. There is always someone to contribute to society in exchange for benefits. Makes me mad when i see lazy friggers not working / playing the system when they are more than capable! For some reason it annoys me more when I see herds of them hitting the local Asda for a fry up after the kids are farmed out to school.

. I mean I can see my 12 hour days far enough many days!

If a few had less, there'd be more support for everyone else to have a couple. If those who had loads, had less, those who have a coiple would have to worry less about the state of the planet.
You're massively underestiming the carbon footprint and benefits bill of a family of 8.

She's a lazy urchin. Six kids is ridiculous in this day and age unless you're very wealthy and can support them. 'Get her life back' - what an absolute joke to those of us who work day in and day out.

Just saying that doesn't make it a fact.

I know people who in the twenty years I've known them since our kids were at pre-school have honestly never done a days work. I wonder if their partners/ husbands ever tell them to get a job. My dh doesn't even like it that I work one day less than him, can't imagine what he would think if I just said I wasn't going to work ever !

As someone who has been registered on UC for the last 5 years since having my 1st child, I am only being expected to look for work now that my youngest is turning 3. Once they are in school you have a commitment to be either making a minimum of £750 pm or working the equivalent in hours which is roughly 20hrs PW (this has recently increased from being a minimum of 16hrs PW).
Essentially she won't have it easy and will be pressured into finding work as she has multiple almost adult children to look after.

Are you a lone parent though as the rules seem to be significantly tougher for lone parents ?

Shes just getting her life back? I cant wait to get mine back but after 35 years of work, I am no where near being able to retire. She needs to work. Sponger.

Absolutely ridiculous!

I have agonized for 5 years about having a second child due to the cost of living, and our combined income is around 130K.

I would dream of dropping ONE day to go down to 4 but we need me FT for our mortgage and bills as I earn very slightly more.

That said, I would just ignore her comments and leave her to it. She doesn't live in the real world.

Yes because she's receiving benefits and now needs to get a job or stop claiming

Fair enough you can be a SAHP if you don't need to depend on the state

A slightly different scenario

No my husband works full time.

I would say it is absolutely ridiculous that you think you can't afford a second child on £130k. 🙄

Then you shouldn't be pushed too hard. You should be in the light touch group because of his earnings.

I don't care if she works or not. I just hope the taxpayers aren't having to pick up the bill for this lunacy.

6 children she can't afford and now wants 'her life back' when her imagined life doesn't include supporting her own children like the rest of us.

So I've selected that I don't think you're being unreasonable and I mean that in the sense of your opinion, thoughts and feelings on the situation but I don't think you should confront your sister with it. As a society we constantly make women feel bad for their choices in regards to work, children, home life and the balance of it all. Remember it wasn't that long ago that her partner would have earned enough to keep them so she could stay at home with her children and fulfill that housewife/houseparent role. It was actually expected of the women. Now we are expected to fulfill that full time role as well as work on top. Its a big ask and isn't the way of life which suits everyone.
I have worked full time since I finished my GCSE' barring taking an additional (after maternity) year off after having our daughter. At the time we had pammed I would return to work because I earned more but due to losing our first born I needed to take the time with pur daughter. I have then worked full time since she was almost 2. I have always justified it to myself and others that I wad providing for our family but was judged because I didn't do school runs, missed plays, would sometimes be home after bed time etc. I always told myself I wanted to work and it was ok missing these things because it was for work. At the time I felt mum guilt and looking back I now regret not stepping back from work to be able to spend more time with her. We cant win. In regards to your comment about your 6 month maternity I would ask you to reflect on if you have raised this because you feel the same, that girl missing out in some way and see that your sister isn't. Also it was yours and your families choice for you to go back after 6 months as maternity is permitted to be longer. I appreciate this may have been a decision based on cirumstance but if you really wanted to you could have taken longer and woild always make it work because that's what parents do. I'd advise you to share your experience in a sensitive way to show your sister she's lucky to have had the time she has had and then try to be positive and supportive about her looking for work.

Perhaps he can't earn more.mumsnet is so judgemental.

We just changed over, and stopped tax credits instant which I wasn't expecting. I would love to work, I'm not required to as a severally disabled son. But she should be grateful she can go and look for work