Higher earner should pay more of the bills?

[TTM123]

What are peoples opinion on this? If your partner earned more than you, would you expect them to pay more towards the bills?

Do you live together? How long have you been dating? Do you both work ft?

Yes they should, but many higher earners in any given couple (usually the man) don't want to.

'You could earn as much as me if you worked harder/ worked hard enough/ worked more hours etc etc etc.'🙄

I have known many a couple where the man earns more, and clings onto his money, and deeply resents sharing it. (Moreso in younger couples - under 45. Not all though...)

Personally I think outgoings should be split by percentage proportionally.

IMO, if you are living together then the % share into the family "pot" should be based on your respective incomes.

If you have children, whilst on ML and if you go back to work PT, the family pot should also cover any loss/reduction in pension, including employer contributions, from the drop in wages.

We are both high earners but my husband earns 3-4 times more than me. His contribution to the household is much more than mine.

I earn loads more than DH but we are a family and share our resources.

We don't do his and hers money. All income into one pit snd all expenditures out

If you’re married I would expect all money to go into one pot and all bills to be paid out of that pot, with equal “fun money” for each of you and the rest (if there is any) saved.

I’m the higher earner and I pay more proportionately.

Well, we pay the same but it also covers the loan payment for his unnecessarily fancy car he mithered about until getting.

Certainly these situations where couples are paying the same despite one earning considerably less to take on more childcare responsibilities seems like a madness to me. There seems to be a lot of that on here, or maybe I just notice it because I find it so weird.

Percentages. So if you earn 25% of the total pot and he’s 75%, then you pay 25% of the value of each bill.

And if you have children that would include childcare costs etc.

That's exactly how we manage our money. We each have our own accounts and an additional joint account for household expenses (including stuff for the children). We worked out how much we needed in the joint account to pay the bills and divided that proportionally according to our earnings. At one point H earned double my salary so he paid 2/3 and I paid 1/3. Now we're on basically the same salary we pay in the same (although actually I pay in slightly less because I have private healthcare with my work, and I pay for all of us as H doesn't have it so that is taken into account as well).
It works for us.
When I was on Mat leave, we worked out what I would get in total, and divided bills proportionately again over the full year. Obviously H paid a much bigger proportion then.

If you’re a family with kids then I’d put it all together in one pot and each have the same amount of “spending money”. If you’re living together with no kids then I’d do a percentage of bills based on salary.

My husband earns more than twice than me. We both put 50% of our wage into the joint account for bills. Percentage seems fair to me.

Once married on in a serious long term commitment, money should be shared rather than a mine and yours arrangement.
Obviously there might be exceptions eg gambling or other irresponsible spending issues, but assuming there isn't anything like that, income should be a shared resource.

It has to be better if all resources are pooled. If not then bills should be divided on a percentage basis.

No. It depends on the situation.
HE should pay more if the earning positions are expected (e.g. higher earner married a lower earner) AND lifestyles are not geared towards the lower earner. Or if there are kids with the lower earner doing the brunt of grunt work.
Otherwise no.

Depends. How long have you been together. Does one of you have kids or do you have kids together? Too many variables.

Long term/married couple then I personally would want to pool finances. I can't imagine being married with kids and either one of us having less to spend each month because they are the lower earner.

We are a one pot family.

ever since we got engaged money all goes into the family pot , so to speak.

until recently dh has always been the higher earner, he paid all bills and my wages were for holidays, treats, general day to day spending.

even although we roughly earn the same, it still works the same way. It’s worked well for us for the last 25 years.

Seems I'm in the minority, but just to give a different perspective.

We have separate finances. Married with 2 kids. Both employed full time and both juggle the usual childcare and household responsibilities.

Our salaries go into our own personal bank accounts. We then transfer a set amount each month into a joint account to cover joint bills like mortgage, utilities, kids clubs, groceries etc.

Everything else is individual money. So our own clothes, shoes, cars, phone, Indurance, gym & golf membership etc.

I earn more that DH. It I'm also a saver, so we now have a very decent savings pot for rainy day / emergencies. Plus we use my savings for big purchases like replacement freezer, new oven, most holidays etc. So really 'my' savings are family money.

Works for us.

If we only had joint accounts I think it'd burn a hole in my DH pocket! He's not good with money.

Why? He has twice as much money just for him than you do.

We put in a percentage of our earnings into our joint account. So currently my partner earns more so I think it's around 36% that I put in and he puts in 64%. This seems the fairest way and neither of us feel hard done by.

(He's seems the opposite to some men on here though and at a recent pay rise was excited to see the change!)

When women earn more they pay more when men earn more they don't.

We do the account each and a joint account for bills. Husband earns more than me so puts more in. We're both left with same amount of personal spends.

The reason my salary is lower is because I took lower paid jobs to work around the kids when they were younger that don't really translate to career progression - childminding, working shifts etc. Husband obviously benefited from this as I did all school runs, school holidays etc so he could crack on and progress his career.

Now mine are older I'm trying to get on a bit in my career to maximise my earnings but it takes time.

I would be unimpressed if my husband expected me to have a lower standard of living than him. Luckily he doesn't!

In our family I earn 4 times as much as my partner. I pay all the mortgage and house bills and house maintenance/furniture etc. I also pay for holidays and meals out. His income is used for food and petrol and he is able to save some too. He does more childcare and household chores than me. We are both happy with this.

In our house the pot pays for the bills. We put money in the same pot and then the bill is paid. We've never split it by % and as my dh doesn't bother with shopping for anything then I, as the lower earner, probably spend a lot more of the pot but we just don't see it has separate and he would never quiz me on how I spent it. We do consult on large purchases.