What's your timeline for throwing away wedding invitations?

[sockmuncher]

A relative dropped off her wedding invitation on Saturday morning.

I complimented the beautiful invitation. Then I copied the important details into my calendar and set the invitation on the side with the recycling.

We chatted on for a few hours & had a lovely catch up.

She has text me today to say she's been wondering whether to say anything or not but shes hurt the invitation was 'dumped' so quickly. It's got my back up, I appreciated the invitation and how beautiful it was but how long should I keep it for so it's been appreciated enough?

I'm not going to send anything back other than to apologise for hurting her feelings, but i have done this with every wedding / party invitation. Am I in the minority?

That was hurtful in front of her, she's paid money for them. You shouldn't have done it in front of her. I keep mine til I actually go to the wedding then I bin it.

Still in the bin though

A loved one's wedding invitation is hardly clutter! Surely you just pop it on a notice board if you have one, or away in a drawer...I can't imagine what a house must look like where an invitation can't be tolerated

And?

I’ve got a box of wedding invitations going back nearly 30 years. I’ve kept nearly all of them - lost a few, but there are loads in the bag. I like them and they remind me of friends and family. Probably only look at them every few years, but I like the fact I have them.

Realise some people do the same and others display them on mantelpiece until the wedding and often take them with them for directions, address etc. imagine most people then bin them.

Generally people have put effort into choosing or making them and they have always been intended as a display item. However, it’s up to you. Rather insensitive to bin the invitation in front of giver. Suggests a lack of empathy and understanding. But perhaps you bin birthday cards and everything else immediately you’ve read it. Most people understand this social norm, but some people do need the cultural norms spelled out to them and they aren’t obvious to them. Perhaos OP is one of those people.

Absolutely savage to bin it in front of her!

Im not going to be as polite as most of the other posters. What a nasty piece of work you are, to do that in front of her. Clearly you were trying to be hurtful.

I wouldn't have done it in front of her but yes I'd have put it straight in the recycling bin. I also throw birthday cards away without displaying them. They're just ugly clutter to me.

Do you not like the bloke she’s marrying? That’s what it would’ve looked like to me x

How could anyone in their right mind think it was acceptable to bin an invitation right in front of the person that just made the effort to visit and hand deliver it to you?

I usually put it on my fridge til the date has been and gone, then recycle. I'd also be a bit bemused if I saw you throw it out straight away, especially while I was still in house it's a bit rude.

As an aside, posters are enjoying the word "savage" on this thread. And "brutal". It's almost like they looked at the first post which used them and thought "ooh, good word".

I'd have waited until she was out of the door, then straight in the bin. Not necessary to hold onto clutter...however much someone has chosen to spend on it. But yeah, I'd have waited until she wasn't there.

I type out the info into my calendar, wishing the couple had just emailed it so I could copy and paste

So a nod to manners, then on to the bin once the bride isn’t looking on. Same outcome. Madness that all this money and resources end up in the bin. However it’s dressed up with a socially acceptable pause, all seems a bit crazy.

This. The rudeness of some pepole on here is astounding.

Why don't you tell your friends and family to save their time and money, then?

If someone hand-delivered me any sort of card, it wouldn't cross my mind that it was OK to put it in the recycling while they were there I find it quite funny how oblivious you seem to be to how off that is.
And it's not because I'm super-sentimental and keep cards for ever. Some I've had for years, the ones that mean a lot to me for whatever reason, some I keep for a while and then get sick of and bin, some I take down as soon as feels right after the birthday or whatever.

At least until after the wedding! Invitations are expensive snd s lot if thought generally goes into choosing them. I think you were really rude!

After the event is the usual, I think....

In the bin like 2 years later. Like seemingly 99.9% of posters here do the same. Very different to binning it within 30 seconds of receiving it, in front of the sender.

Yeah that's really rude behaviour.

@sockmuncher can you really honestly not see how what you did was rude op?

If the invitation was from a close relative or a very close friend I’d probably keep it forever. Anyone else I’d keep it until after the wedding - they are generally pretty things to have around and usually have useful information about the location/timings etc that would be too much to copy into a calendar.

Your approach is fine (though I think unusual), it’s your house you decide what stays in it and for how long. However, she’d probably put a lot of thought into how the invitation looked and it was rude and insensitive to bin it in front of her. If I were you, I’d apologise for being insensitive - the invite may be clutter to you but it’s not to her.

Smacks of some sort of jealousy of the wedding x