Thoughts on what I seen on partners phone.

[Treesinsnow]

I have posted before about a message my partners ex sent him and his reply. Majority of posters said they would be worried and his the rare exchange of one message between them was fine and handled well. However, I have not seen that they have again been chatting and he asked her to send him a photograph!!

I just don't know what to think. In my last post about this, posters said he was kindly giving her the brush off but asking her to send him a photo! How would that be giving her the brush off? Could he still be attracted to her? Why would he want a photo of her if he wasn't?

So why on earth are you posting here?

If you’re happy to live with someone well on their way to cheating on you, why keep posting on here?

He is not going to exactly tell me the truth if I ask him.

THIS is a massive red flag - aren't you worth more than that? (clue - yes you are!!)
If you cannot trust him to tell you the truth, then dont be with him

do you think this is just friendly banter? OP, he clearly wants to put his penis in her, and she wants him to do it. Why don’t you ask him?

Why do you think he wants a photo of her? There is no good answer to this. There is no answer that will make him the good guy. The most likely answer is that he’s hoping she’ll send him nudes so he can have a wank over her.

What a waste of time posting, you are obviously desperate enough to stay with him whether he's cheating or not so why bother asking for advice??

Honestly, it's pathetic what some women will accept just to say they "have a man". He is not the prize you think he is.

"She's the one doing all the flirting."

Why do people do this and blame the other person, your oh asked for a photo that he was clearly gonna throw straight in the wank bank. He's worse cause he's trying to have his cake and eat it. I'd place a bet they are still banging too if I'm honest, do yourself a favour and have some respect for yourself. Dump him before he dumps you for his ex. Also get an STI check for your own safety.

If he is "fancied" her that much and Is still attracted to her then why is he not with her?

Why does anyone have affairs? Maybe he's not got the balls to end things. Maybe his breads buttered with you but he still fancies her and likes the thrill of the chase and just wants to have his cake and eat it.

Because you're dumb enough to let him have his cake and eat it, and get away with it, maybe?

If you don’t think he will tell you the truth, then that is reason enough to leave him.

You can’t trust him. Save yourself months/years of second-guessing and suspicion and get rid of him now.

Every time I think the bar for men couldn't get any lower, someone comes along and proves me wrong. Your relationship is a pile of shit, you do realise that? Once you've got to checking phones and asking for spank bank pictures from exes, it really is unsalvageable.

So what's the plan then OP? You don't want to dump him, you don't want to confront him. You just going to keep checking his phone until he inevitably shags her?

Your bar is very low OP. Raise your standards and get some self respect. Dump him.

No sympathy then, let him walk all over you, wanting pictures of his ex, and whatever else. This is why they keep doing it. You can't complain if you act like a doormat.

This! If it's also fine and dandy then who cares if he asks women for pictures. Heck why not ask her for a picture too since there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. If you are going to defend him why on earth did you start this post? It honestly makes you look like a fool but not nearly as much of a fool as your dp is making of you. But stay with him look forward to this over and over and over

As above. Everyone has already said it. What the fuck are you playing at staying with him? I mean, do it, by all means, but then don't come on a forum of predominantly women asking for help and advice only to throw it back in their faces.

Enjoy your prize man. You get what you deserve, eh?!

Well I think it's dumping territory!

Fucksake.

What he wants bigger picture wise is irrelevant. This is really low class behaviour and I can't understand how you could ever he ok with it!

Curiosity got the better of me and I looked to see if she did send him a photo and she didn't. However, i did find more messages of him telling her she is beautiful but refusing to meet up with her.

Again it was her instigating but he basically brushed her off when she suggested them meeting up which I'm sure meant sex.

He may not be meeting up in person with his Ex at this time, but he is investing in their illicit frisson by:

*Sending a smile when she says she wants him to ‘make her scream.’
*Requesting a photo for his wank bank in response to her flirting.
*Calling her beautiful.

He’s a disloyal, faithless creep. He should have shut her down immediately after her sleazy ‘make me scream’ remark. Instead he smiles and reinforces/reciprocates her flirting by asking for her photo and calling her beautiful. He clearly feels gratified by her moves, hence keeping it going. They may never meet up, but this cake-eater is enjoying slinking around in the shadows with her and hopes to masturbate to her picture.

@Treesinsnow, I despair that your bar is so low and you haven’t kicked him to the curb.

You don't know she didn't send a photo you just know there isn't one in the message trail. He could have saved it elsewhere and deleted it.

He is delighted with life thinking 2 girls want him and he is stroking his ego (and other things) at the thought of this.

You need to confront him. Tell him you aren't comfortable with him in contact with his ex, it makes you feel x, y and z. If he refuses then you know where you stand.

If I had to keep checking my partner's phone, the relationship would already be over. Clearly there isn't any trust there, asking for pictures of other women when he's with you? He's taking you for a mug and he'll just continue to push it to see how much he can get away with because you clearly aren't going to break up with him

How dumb are you trying to be, OP?!

TF do you mean she was the one instigating, stop blaming her, he's the one calling her beautiful and asking her for pictures for him to fiddle his pickle over lmao. If he loved you he wouldn't be doing this.

You're honestly just pathetic I'm afraid. Staying with this weiner is pathetic.