Or is it ok for off lead dogs to greet other off lead dogs

[FourOfDiamonds]

I'm slightly hesitant to post a dog AIBU as I know they can get a bit heated but I had an experience this week that really shook me and I'd really like to check where dog etiquette currently stands.

For context I only let my dogs off lead in appropriate settings and they are very well trained. I will also recall them when passing most people (I'll put a list below) but I'll let them stay off lead when passing other dogs that are off lead (with no muzzle or warning jackets) and look appropriate as my dogs like socialising and meeting other dogs.

Reasons I recall:

• people without dogs
• children
• bikes
• horses
• dogs on lead or muzzled
• dogs with warning jackets
• dogs who are being recalled
• if the other owner or dog look uncomfortable/ aggressive
• if the other dog looks much bigger and a bit boisterous

I was out walking with my baby in pram, one dog on lead (as injured) and the other dog off lead in the forest on a wide gravel track. Two ladies are walking in the opposite direction with a black cocker spaniel which is slightly bigger than my two dogs.

As we cross paths (maybe 2m apart) my off lead dog walks towards their dog which is between us and off lead. She shouts at me 'can you recall your fucking dog. My dog is nervous', which I immediately do and put both my dogs in sit and on lead.

I say 'excuse me but if your dog is nervous you should really warn other dog walkers by recalling it, having it on lead or in a jacket with a nervous warning'.

She says 'why should my dog be on lead? you shouldn't have an out of control dog off lead'.

I say 'how is my dog out of control? She was calmly greeting you dog, came back as soon as recalled and has sat in silence since then'.

She said 'so you let your dog go up to any other fucking dog'.

To which I say 'yes if they are off lead with no muzzle or warning jacket - it's healthy for dogs to socialise'.

She says 'you don't know the meaning of socialisation. I can't wait for the day your dog meets an aggressive dog and gets killed'.

To which I say 'you're a nasty piece of work, try taking some responsibility for your own dog' and walk on. They shout names after me.

This incident has left me really shaken as I never usually have any problems dog walking. Is there a move towards people not wanting their dogs to mix at all or was this one rogue owner?

I don’t have a dog but have no problem with other peoples well behaved dogs greeting me, I really don’t understand why people have become so intolerant.

Equally I see no problem with dogs socialising with other dogs.

I sort of assume if a dog is off leash they are relatively sociable. If they are unhappy when my dog approaches I call her back. It is healthy for dogs to socialise. I always think it's a nice walk when she's made or bumped into a few doggy pals.

Although it’s good for dogs to socialise, I think it’s better to put your dog back on the lead until you’ve been able to speak to the owner and established whether it’s ok to. I’ve had some horrible experiences with off leash dogs coming up to mine.

Your dog should be on a lead unless it is in an area that it is allowed to run about in like a dog park, or beach in winter (but you pick a clear spot).

Nothing worse than entitled dog owners shouting 'he is friendly' as it runs up to my terrified child. Even worse is the affront they take when I say, no neurodiverse child does not want to pet it.

I imagine those with nervous dogs feel much the same. And since a dog is an animal and you can never 100% know how it will react on lead is safer for all involved. A dog on a lead with nowhere to escape is likely to feel boxed in and therefore fight instinct kicks in.

You have a dog. It's the descendant of a wolf. I really shouldn't have to explain this to you. Please take some time to learn about the animal you are responsible for.

Oh and pick up it's shit.

It annoys me when dogs go up to mine who is happily fetching his ball, especially if they steal the ball and the owners can't get it back. Really dogs shouldn't bound up fast to other dogs unless the other dog is obviously interested in playing, mine only does balls, not other dogs, but where it's obvious to an owner the other dog isn't responding by playing, owners should recall their dog.

This reminds me of when I was on a beach once and my goldie was a puppy. She ran up to a cocker spaniel and they were playing nicely until the cocker ran off the beach into the road. I called my dog and she came back. The cocker's owner went ballistic shouting "your dog chased my dog"

She stated quite clearly in the post that if children are involved the dog goes back on the lead.

The other woman was nuts and you were in the right.

I walk one dog off lead and one on. He's super friendly -too much so and is prone to jump and his recall is poor as he's 14 and fairly deaf. I find other dog walkers let their off lead dogs run up to us almost all the time - not an issue as mine is friendly, but I'm surprised as my dug is in a lead. If their dog is nervous or aggressive then they are almost always on a lead.
This woman should have recalled her dog and told you on sight that hers was nervous. She is being ridiculous.

No, she said recall. Recall is not on a lead.
But if she does that's great. She needs to now extend that behaviour to other dogs unless she has consent.

You need to be calling out well in advance ‘is your dog friendly/ okay with other dogs approaching

Don’t just assume that all off lead dogs will want your dog running up to them, and also, don’t always assume other owners will be desperate for their dog to socialise with yours.

There are some days when I’m walking my off lead dog and can’t be arsed with small talk with other people or having to worry about potential aggressive off lead dogs approaching. I really dislike the ‘they need to say hello and socialise’ mantra. Yes, it’s nice for them to socialise but only if both owners actively want that.

Your dog shouldn’t approach another dog if you haven’t spoken to the other dog owner. My dog will play off lead and stay close to me the whole time. He won’t approach any other dog unless I walk over to that other dog. He is friendly with other dogs but he wouldn’t want random dogs running up to him suddenly and I wouldn’t be happy with that either. I always shout over and make sure the other dog is ok before letting mine go and play. It’s common courtesy.

Omg that's awful, what a horrible attitude she has! Id also assume if a dog is off lead they are friendly.
A bit different but I used to have a halti thing on my cocker spaniel that went over her nose to stop her pulling, she's the friendliest little dog but the amount of people that used to call their off lead dogs back and put them on a lead because they thought it was a muzzle I ended up walking her with a harness instead and she loves now that dogs come up to socialize.
Her dog is probably nervous from the vibes it picks up from her bad attitude

WOW, she sounds really aggressive and awful! It's a double standard for her to think it's fine for her nervous dog to wander off lead, but expect everyone else to keep theirs on lead out of deference to her dog (despite not highlighting the dog's nervousness in any way, until another dog comes close). Also think she sounds horrible for effing and jeffing at you for no reason. You were very polite and did what she asked straightaway. I would have felt shaken up about that, I hate confrontation, and I especially hate it when the other person is being unjustifiably rude.

You sound like you have very well trained, well behaved, responsive dogs - you've clearly taught them well. Not sure she can say the same for hers.

Op you encountered a horrible person.

Don't worry about it, you did nothing wrong.

What a mad woman, I can only assume she was having a terribly horrible day for some dire reason and hopefully feels bad for being a weird cunt

OP was walking her dog in a forest. Perfectly fine for them to be off lead.

Sorry this happened to you, OP. The woman sounds bloody horrible.

If her dog is so reactive to other dogs or nervous, then it should be on a lead. I have a friend who has just adopted a pair, and one of them hates strange dogs. She has to keep it on a lead, but it seeking advice from a behaviourist too.

No, dog needs do not trump people needs. You can have it off lead, in sight if you are willing and able to call it and put it back on lead when others approach.

Dogs are pets that require a certain amount of responsibility. If you can't do that I suggest a tamogotchi.

So only dog walkers get to enjoy the forest then? I would have thought the forest would be for everyone to enjoy.

It sounds like OP does bring their dog back when children are around though which is commendable.

Unless there are signs saying dogs should be kept on lead, then OP was doing nothing wrong.

If a dog's off lead in a public place then I'd assume it's OK for another dog to approach. If I see one on a lead, I'll call mine back, put it back on a lead and ask if it's OK to approach the other one. If they say no, I'll walk past and let mine off again when we are away.

If it's a nervous dog it needs to be attached to its owner for safety. That said, I agree with another MNer that quite often nervous dogs seem to have reactive owners.

No, YANBU. But she was batshit and bloody rude. What an idiot. Her one brain cell must be very lonely.

Don't be so daft. OP literally said she calls her dog back if she meets eg kids. Letting her dog greet another off-lead dog is totally different. 🙄🙄

Interesting so you think dogs have no right to consent to a strange dog approaching them.

And here I was thinking you were a dog lover.