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Original poster

Or is it ok for off lead dogs to greet other off lead dogs

103 replies

FourOfDiamonds · 20/01/2024 19:36

I'm slightly hesitant to post a dog AIBU as I know they can get a bit heated but I had an experience this week that really shook me and I'd really like to check where dog etiquette currently stands.

For context I only let my dogs off lead in appropriate settings and they are very well trained. I will also recall them when passing most people (I'll put a list below) but I'll let them stay off lead when passing other dogs that are off lead (with no muzzle or warning jackets) and look appropriate as my dogs like socialising and meeting other dogs.

Reasons I recall:

  • people without dogs
  • children
  • bikes
  • horses
  • dogs on lead or muzzled
  • dogs with warning jackets
  • dogs who are being recalled
  • if the other owner or dog look uncomfortable/ aggressive
  • if the other dog looks much bigger and a bit boisterous

I was out walking with my baby in pram, one dog on lead (as injured) and the other dog off lead in the forest on a wide gravel track. Two ladies are walking in the opposite direction with a black cocker spaniel which is slightly bigger than my two dogs.

As we cross paths (maybe 2m apart) my off lead dog walks towards their dog which is between us and off lead. She shouts at me 'can you recall your fucking dog. My dog is nervous', which I immediately do and put both my dogs in sit and on lead.

I say 'excuse me but if your dog is nervous you should really warn other dog walkers by recalling it, having it on lead or in a jacket with a nervous warning'.

She says 'why should my dog be on lead? you shouldn't have an out of control dog off lead'.

I say 'how is my dog out of control? She was calmly greeting you dog, came back as soon as recalled and has sat in silence since then'.

She said 'so you let your dog go up to any other fucking dog'.

To which I say 'yes if they are off lead with no muzzle or warning jacket - it's healthy for dogs to socialise'.

She says 'you don't know the meaning of socialisation. I can't wait for the day your dog meets an aggressive dog and gets killed'.

To which I say 'you're a nasty piece of work, try taking some responsibility for your own dog' and walk on. They shout names after me.

This incident has left me really shaken as I never usually have any problems dog walking. Is there a move towards people not wanting their dogs to mix at all or was this one rogue owner?

OP posts:
Keepingthingsinteresting · 20/01/2024 20:21

ConcealDontFeelPutonaShow · 20/01/2024 19:52

Your dog should be on a lead unless it is in an area that it is allowed to run about in like a dog park, or beach in winter (but you pick a clear spot).

Nothing worse than entitled dog owners shouting 'he is friendly' as it runs up to my terrified child. Even worse is the affront they take when I say, no neurodiverse child does not want to pet it.

I imagine those with nervous dogs feel much the same. And since a dog is an animal and you can never 100% know how it will react on lead is safer for all involved. A dog on a lead with nowhere to escape is likely to feel boxed in and therefore fight instinct kicks in.

You have a dog. It's the descendant of a wolf. I really shouldn't have to explain this to you. Please take some time to learn about the animal you are responsible for.

Oh and pick up it's shit.

Literally none of this is relevant to what OP said @ConcealDontFeelPutonaShow , so no need for a rant 🙄

@FourOfDiamonds youre right,if the other dog is off lead it’s generally accepted your’s can be too and to greet. She should have put her dog on a lead and you would have the done the same. They sound awful and you sound a responsible owner

Username917778 · 20/01/2024 20:22

YANBU. Don't worry about.

Dabralor · 20/01/2024 20:24

Sadly,being an arsehole and being a dog owner are not mutually exclusive occupations.

Honestly, I'd feel shaken too but try to let it go. If that's her attitude, she'll be having snarky convos like that every day - her walks will be tense and that sounds just deserts for her. Whereas you can look forward to dog walks as calm, relaxed times with your little family. Cuddle your lovely dogs and be proud of yourself for having raised them so well 👏

Lou573 · 20/01/2024 20:26

It's a tricky one. My dog has no interest in other dogs, she wants to run and play with her ball and absolutely does not want to be approached by other dogs. There is no reason for her to be on the lead in appropriate settings, she has excellent recall and doesn't bother people or dogs.

However, because she's off lead she's seen as fair game for any dog to approach and she hates it. When she's cowering between my legs I ask them to recall theirs but I'd rather not put her in that position in the first place.

JussathoB · 20/01/2024 20:26

My dog needs off lead exercise but she usually prefers to run around by herself and does not generally approach other people or other dogs.
ImO it’s perfectly ok to let your dog off lead in a suitable place ( park or beach for example) as long as you have a reasonable expectation that its behaviour is going to be reasonable and it will come back to you when you call.
Most of the time any dog interactions will be fine, occasionally they might be tetchy. This is a slight risk you have to take in letting your dog off.
Ehat you shouldn’t do is let your dog off lead because you know he/she wants to rugby tackle every other dog it can catch up with.
You seem to have well behaved and sociable dogs. It sounds as if the other human is the problem.

CeeCeeBloom · 20/01/2024 20:27

ConcealDontFeelPutonaShow · 20/01/2024 19:52

Your dog should be on a lead unless it is in an area that it is allowed to run about in like a dog park, or beach in winter (but you pick a clear spot).

Nothing worse than entitled dog owners shouting 'he is friendly' as it runs up to my terrified child. Even worse is the affront they take when I say, no neurodiverse child does not want to pet it.

I imagine those with nervous dogs feel much the same. And since a dog is an animal and you can never 100% know how it will react on lead is safer for all involved. A dog on a lead with nowhere to escape is likely to feel boxed in and therefore fight instinct kicks in.

You have a dog. It's the descendant of a wolf. I really shouldn't have to explain this to you. Please take some time to learn about the animal you are responsible for.

Oh and pick up it's shit.

There's always one who doesn't bother reading the OP properly.

Primefungus · 20/01/2024 20:28

If a dog is off lead, then it is perfectly reasonable to assume they are happy to meet other dogs. If not then they would be on lead. If her dog is nervous that's for her to manage - and not by swearing at you and your well behaved dog. If a dog is on lead, you put yours on. She's just a twat. There's a lot of them around!

ginsparkles · 20/01/2024 20:29

I tend to recall mine until the other dog and owner as close enough for me to ask if it's ok for her to say hello. I just think it's safer all round to double check before letting them greet each other.

That said I wouldn't be cross at another dog owner if their dog came over to say hello to ours.

Balloonhearts · 20/01/2024 20:30

You were wrong, you shouldn't let your dog approach others without asking the owner first.

Mine is hardly ever on lead but will wait when told to so I can call out and check whether they're OK to say hi. If it's a no, I call her back and she doesn't approach.

lemonjuicer · 20/01/2024 20:31

Agree with @Primefungus

EdithStourton · 20/01/2024 20:32

I think you were just very unlucky, OP. The unwritten dog-walking rule round here is that off-lead dogs can approach each other, and that if you are concerned about your own dog (because it's nervous or ill-tempered or whatever) you call it in, and the owner of the other dog recalls theirs too.

She sounds like a thoroughly nasty woman. Sorry that happened to you.

Festivecheer26 · 20/01/2024 20:33

YANBU - I have the exact same rules as you for recalling my dog OP. I’d assume anything still off lead when they saw you coming would be fine and that the dogs could be left to it.

joelmillersbackpack · 20/01/2024 20:33

OP you did nothing wrong. I leave my dog off lead if the other dog is off lead. He goes back on the lead for other dogs on leads, kids, if the other dog is looking particularly boisterous etc. It’s normal dog walking etiquette.

Mrsttcno1 · 20/01/2024 20:34

I would say you are unreasonable, a dog being off lead doesn’t mean it wants other dogs to come say hi. We have a Labrador and he is super friendly, very well trained, but part of safe socialisation is ensuring all participants are happy for it to go ahead, so we always ask before allowing him to say hello to any dog. Off lead doesn’t automatically = happy to play.

MissyB1 · 20/01/2024 20:35

You were in the right, she needs to put her dog on a lead if it can’t cope with other dogs.

itsmyp4rty · 20/01/2024 20:35

ConcealDontFeelPutonaShow · 20/01/2024 20:20

Interesting so you think dogs have no right to consent to a strange dog approaching them.

And here I was thinking you were a dog lover.

How the fuck do you get consent off a dog on behalf of your dog?
Some people are complete nutcases OP, if dogs aren't friendly to other people and other dogs then they shouldn't be off lead in public places at the end of the day.

TempestTost · 20/01/2024 20:35

YANBU.

Part of the reason to have dogs off lead is so they can greet other dogs and interact with them normally. Dogs have to learn this just like people do, or they do develop nervous behaviors, or do things which piss of the other dogs.

And I don't think I've even been in an off leash area where it isn't the norm for dogs to interact and greet each other.

It's unfortunate this woman's dog gets scared, but it is up to her to manage. She can't expect every other dog to ignore the dogs around as if they are not there.

Lou573 · 20/01/2024 20:35

Primefungus · 20/01/2024 20:28

If a dog is off lead, then it is perfectly reasonable to assume they are happy to meet other dogs. If not then they would be on lead. If her dog is nervous that's for her to manage - and not by swearing at you and your well behaved dog. If a dog is on lead, you put yours on. She's just a twat. There's a lot of them around!

But why should my dog who doesn't want to be leapt on by other dogs be on lead? She is polite, doesn't bother anyone and has excellent recall. She shouldn't miss out on exercise she loves because other dogs have no manners! I'm certainly not as rude about it as the woman in the OP's scenario, but I will ask people to recall theirs from my offlead dog.

Mumof2teens79 · 20/01/2024 20:37

We are going to socialisation classes at the moment
Off lead greets are fine as long as the dog reads the other dogs body language. A 3 second face or bum sniff and move on, or play....play can be energetic as long as balanced.

Lou573 · 20/01/2024 20:38

and just to add to the above - I would say a good 75% of people have to come and fetch their dog away from mine who's by then glued to my side, they have no recall at all.

Onabench · 20/01/2024 20:39

YANBU. She sounds like a nob. My dog doesn’t want to make friends but is an off lead dog as she isn’t aggressive and has excellent recall. If another dog tries to make friends, mine ignores them or will tell them to fuck off if they get physical. I fully expect other dogs to approach if both are off lead.

I will recall my dog if I see a particularly excitable dog that looks like they cannot respect another dogs body language:

Jennyjojo5 · 20/01/2024 20:39

Balloonhearts · 20/01/2024 20:30

You were wrong, you shouldn't let your dog approach others without asking the owner first.

Mine is hardly ever on lead but will wait when told to so I can call out and check whether they're OK to say hi. If it's a no, I call her back and she doesn't approach.

Agree with this (although don’t agree with how the other owner lost her shit)

when my dog is off lead he is hyper fixated on the ball. He finds it annoying when other dogs come up to him to sniff or play.. he just wants to be left alone chasing the ball.

CormorantStrikesBack · 20/01/2024 20:39

The woman over reacted but I won’t let my off lead dog with good recall approach another off lead dog without a clear invitation. We get a lot of off lead dogs approach us which I don’t mind if they approach nicely. Some dogs totally barrel up too fast which isn’t polite. I do think people shouldn’t let their dogs approach but I accept if my dog isn’t on a lead it’s maybe more likely to happen as I’d like to think if my dog was on a lead another owner is more likely to not let their dog approach. Saying that plenty still do even when mine is on lead 🤷‍♀️

so she shouldn’t have been so rude but I think you should maybe check first.

Mumof2teens79 · 20/01/2024 20:40

Did I miss the bit where OPs dog "jumped on"the other dog?
Consent is in the dogs body language.

If no off lead dogs ever approach another dog how will they ever meet another dog?

Zanatdy · 20/01/2024 20:41

If off lead then it’s fine in my opinion to let them greet. She should be putting hers on lead when she’s spots another dog coming and indicating that she doesn’t want your dog to greet. That’s my biggest issue is dogs bounding over to my on lead dog who is anxious and partially blind. But I make it clear that I don’t want their dog to greet mine and only let him off if empty field or a hired field mainly now. She was the one in the wrong in my opinion and she does need a nervous jacket and on lead to pass other dogs