Or is it ok for off lead dogs to greet other off lead dogs

[FourOfDiamonds]

I'm slightly hesitant to post a dog AIBU as I know they can get a bit heated but I had an experience this week that really shook me and I'd really like to check where dog etiquette currently stands.

For context I only let my dogs off lead in appropriate settings and they are very well trained. I will also recall them when passing most people (I'll put a list below) but I'll let them stay off lead when passing other dogs that are off lead (with no muzzle or warning jackets) and look appropriate as my dogs like socialising and meeting other dogs.

Reasons I recall:

• people without dogs
• children
• bikes
• horses
• dogs on lead or muzzled
• dogs with warning jackets
• dogs who are being recalled
• if the other owner or dog look uncomfortable/ aggressive
• if the other dog looks much bigger and a bit boisterous

I was out walking with my baby in pram, one dog on lead (as injured) and the other dog off lead in the forest on a wide gravel track. Two ladies are walking in the opposite direction with a black cocker spaniel which is slightly bigger than my two dogs.

As we cross paths (maybe 2m apart) my off lead dog walks towards their dog which is between us and off lead. She shouts at me 'can you recall your fucking dog. My dog is nervous', which I immediately do and put both my dogs in sit and on lead.

I say 'excuse me but if your dog is nervous you should really warn other dog walkers by recalling it, having it on lead or in a jacket with a nervous warning'.

She says 'why should my dog be on lead? you shouldn't have an out of control dog off lead'.

I say 'how is my dog out of control? She was calmly greeting you dog, came back as soon as recalled and has sat in silence since then'.

She said 'so you let your dog go up to any other fucking dog'.

To which I say 'yes if they are off lead with no muzzle or warning jacket - it's healthy for dogs to socialise'.

She says 'you don't know the meaning of socialisation. I can't wait for the day your dog meets an aggressive dog and gets killed'.

To which I say 'you're a nasty piece of work, try taking some responsibility for your own dog' and walk on. They shout names after me.

This incident has left me really shaken as I never usually have any problems dog walking. Is there a move towards people not wanting their dogs to mix at all or was this one rogue owner?

Did she really say can you recall your fucking dog, or did you make that up for dramatic effect? I am just asking as I have never encountered that much aggression up of the blue in my entire life.

Totally agree

We have two dogs. If they’re on the lead I get really annoyed others with dogs off the lead approaching them. But if they’re off the lead I wouldn’t have an issue. Likewise if they were off lead and we saw a dog on the lead I’d put them back on, but sound like that’s what you do anyway so YANBU

You’ve not met some dog owners near us…. We got swore at once in front of our kids for our on lead dog barking back at a dog that barked at her first. She’s a big dog and the dog barking at her was a little one so I imagine they were just freaked out but no need to swear, especially not in front of young kids!

I seem to go against the grain here.
My Cocker is very much a 'people' dog and very friendly but is quite aloof with other dogs, and he will not tolerate dogs that insist on bounding over to him and not leaving him alone when he's off lead but next to me.
He is almost always off lead, but comes back to me instantly when called, he'll walk straight past other dogs, he doesnt approach them.
If I see other walkers with their dogs on a lead, I will always put him on a lead too. If their dog is off lead, I leave him off, but I don't like the assumption that it means he wants to be approached.

The walker you encountered sounded very ott but maybe it was just one greet too many that day. There have been many times I have muttered under my breath 'just keep your own dog away' especially when I've turned round and there's no sight of the owner.

@ConcealDontFeelPutonaShow I m sure you have some relevant points but you just seem utterly insufferable

She sounds like a loony with a bee in her bonnet (or having a bad day).
Nervous dogs should be on leads or in jackets or harness saying. Or a polite “oh my dogs quite nervous would you mind keeping yours close”.

She was entirely unreasonable and you sound very clued up on dog control and etiquette. Sorry she ruined your walk. I get anxious about these things too as consider myself a polite and responsible dog owner.

Such a shame so many dogs have been bred that appear to be terrified of any other dogs, years ago when l was young, nobody ever walked a dog on a lead, nothing had ever happened. Now it's all so complicated, having to recall your dog every two minutes or keep it permanent tethered, l would never own another dog again. It seems a very miserable experience now for the dog and the owner.

Hmm.

My dog can be reactive (nervous). I let her off the lead in areas where we are generally alone (or with my friend and her dog). Being on the lead makes her more reactive and learning how to interact with other dogs in a safe environment is helpful for her. If we are approaching another dog, I may recall her and will assess the situation - what sort of dog is it (she doesn't care for small white dogs in general), have we met this dog before, is there an escape route for us (i.e. can I head in a different direction, or easily pass the people coming towards us), how many interactions has my dog successfully managed on this walk (she has limits and gets overwhelmed after one too many friendly encounters), etc.

But yes. I WILL ask another owner to recall their dog if I recognise that my dog is feeling overwhelmed and wants to pass as quickly as possible with no interaction. Usually I recall her and put her on the lead (which will guarantee that she gets stressed and barks) but that isn't always the best course of action.

If a dog is off lead of course it’s okay for other odd lead dogs to go and say hi!

my dog is scared of some big dogs - so if he’s off lead and looks a bit nervous I’ll call out to the other owner to ask if they mind recalling.

if I’m properly worried I’ll clip him on and tell the other owne me to recall

often the other owners are poor at recalling - but honestly I can’t get worked up about it

she was batshit

Your dog shouldn’t really be trotting up to strange dogs without agreement from its owner. It’s a bit like a well meaning stranger coming over and wanting to chat. Usually harmless but often not welcome.

I agree that this isn’t a healthy or same form of “socialising”. Not the biggest faux pas in the dog world - but equally you don’t really have the high ground here.

Thanks to everyone who has given constructive feedback.

I think a few examples given for off lead dogs that don't want to mingle I would usually spot and recall for - e.g dogs playing ball, dogs walking at heel, dogs giving mine a wide berth or displaying avoidant behaviour but I get your point.

In general I try and look at the other dog owner and dog and take the lead from them. E.g if they're smiley and nod hello and the dog is
looking at mine and wagging their tail I assume they are down to play. That said I do see as a few people have suggested calling out in advance and asking would be a good way to double check.

As someone asked - when I recall I usually keep them at heel unless there's a reason to put them on lead. For instance I usually put them on lead around children and joggers as I know they can be particularly nervous around dogs.

I wouldn't assume that because someone has their dog off leashes then it's a green light for allowing mine to approach them. I'd assume an off leash dog is ok with other dogs yes but I wouldn't assume the owner wants random off leash dogs being allowed to approach theirs.

Dh often just wants to walk the dog and have some quiet time with the dog after a hard physical day at work , dog is friendly but most days she doesn't want to"play" and likes just chasing her ball and what not herself, iso many times other owners have allowed their dog to come over and then spend ten mins going awww, awwwww, at dh throwing our ball for their dog as ours ends up just sitting at dhs feet watching, the moment they move on our dig is all excited and wants the ball throwing again

I do not always leash if we're passing other off leash dogs playing or walking but she's always made to stay in a heel and she will ignore any other dogs approaching her to siff/play and just continues walking past.

@ConcealDontFeelPutonaShow you've stated 'You can have it off lead, in sight if you are willing and able to call it and put it back on lead when others approach'.
If you read the OP that is literally exactly what she said she does.
So how have you leapt from 'its fine to do this'. To 'Dogs are pets that require a certain amount of responsibility. If you can't do that I suggest a tamogotchi.'?

What rubbish the op has already said she can control her dog and includes if children are about. Everyone knows if your dog is nervous you recall and lead it two well trained dogs off lead are not an issue. The issue is training

Dogs have their own signals and ways of assessing each other so by giving consent.

I'm firmly #teamcat, but as a pp said this thread is absolutely bonkers. We are talking about dogs here, animals, with all the animal instincts that go with that. And yet we have talk of dogs needing to be polite and have manners.

I'm not sure it is commendable to be trying to train out instinctive behaviour.

Oh FFS. This wasn't about you, your child or dog poo. How many chips are you carrying?

The widely communicated rule is if dog is off lead it’s ok to approach, if dogs off lead you need to put your dog on lead and not approach unless you ask.

If her dog has a problem it needs to be on a lead.

You’re fine @FourOfDiamonds , the woman was clearly batshit.

YANBU and you did absolutely nothing wrong.

No wonder her dog is nervous, she obv doesn't understand dog behaviours in the slightest.

Dog walking has become a hideous minefield. It used to be pleasant and chatty with other dogwalkers. Now everyone is angry and hysterical and obsessed about leads.
I have a well behaved excellent recall friendly wuss. She's not mad on other dogs and will come straight to me if she feels overwhelmed. She will come if called from people, bikes, children, leashes dogs whatever. I'm not mad on unleashed dogs following her to play when she doesn't want to. But I have never screamed, sworn or been a dick about it.
I mostly try and walk where there are no other people anymore.
Well done UK for managing to ruin yet another pleasant past time. I blame social media for this one.

Beg to differ here. I have a Labrador and natural instinct is to eat everything and (accidentally) the hand that’s feeding it too.

We train dogs manners every day. Sit. Wait. Fetch. Go. Lie down. Bed. Down.

Watch any qualified guide dog and you will see a dog with better manners than most humans.

A big part of the problem is lockdown puppies - people bought puppies in thier droves but couldn’t socialise them normally - they had to walk away from other people. The fear of the owners affected the dogs, and you got a batch or reactive dogs. Those reactive dogs then scared other dogs, and it has caused these issues. Add in some idiots with strong aggressive breeds who couldn’t be bothered to train properly and it’s become a totally different environment.

The uk sounds very different to Ireland-here we have signs nearly everywhere saying all dogs on leads.
Aside from that, I hate that she cursed at you straight away. Maybe just nervous but her attitude was terrible (although as a cs owner I’d love to know how she trained it to be off lead!!)