Or is it ok for off lead dogs to greet other off lead dogs

[FourOfDiamonds]

I'm slightly hesitant to post a dog AIBU as I know they can get a bit heated but I had an experience this week that really shook me and I'd really like to check where dog etiquette currently stands.

For context I only let my dogs off lead in appropriate settings and they are very well trained. I will also recall them when passing most people (I'll put a list below) but I'll let them stay off lead when passing other dogs that are off lead (with no muzzle or warning jackets) and look appropriate as my dogs like socialising and meeting other dogs.

Reasons I recall:

• people without dogs
• children
• bikes
• horses
• dogs on lead or muzzled
• dogs with warning jackets
• dogs who are being recalled
• if the other owner or dog look uncomfortable/ aggressive
• if the other dog looks much bigger and a bit boisterous

I was out walking with my baby in pram, one dog on lead (as injured) and the other dog off lead in the forest on a wide gravel track. Two ladies are walking in the opposite direction with a black cocker spaniel which is slightly bigger than my two dogs.

As we cross paths (maybe 2m apart) my off lead dog walks towards their dog which is between us and off lead. She shouts at me 'can you recall your fucking dog. My dog is nervous', which I immediately do and put both my dogs in sit and on lead.

I say 'excuse me but if your dog is nervous you should really warn other dog walkers by recalling it, having it on lead or in a jacket with a nervous warning'.

She says 'why should my dog be on lead? you shouldn't have an out of control dog off lead'.

I say 'how is my dog out of control? She was calmly greeting you dog, came back as soon as recalled and has sat in silence since then'.

She said 'so you let your dog go up to any other fucking dog'.

To which I say 'yes if they are off lead with no muzzle or warning jacket - it's healthy for dogs to socialise'.

She says 'you don't know the meaning of socialisation. I can't wait for the day your dog meets an aggressive dog and gets killed'.

To which I say 'you're a nasty piece of work, try taking some responsibility for your own dog' and walk on. They shout names after me.

This incident has left me really shaken as I never usually have any problems dog walking. Is there a move towards people not wanting their dogs to mix at all or was this one rogue owner?

Gosh ! Why on earth was the NERVOUS dog OFF LEAD in a forest ?! It could have been spooked by a squirrel etc. and run off.
And if her dog is that nervous then she should have immediately put her nervous dog on a lead.

It should have had the nervous collar / lead / harness / coat etc. on, so that everyone could see the dog was nervous. Stupid woman ! she got aggressive as she knew she was in the wrong.

However it is clear that not everyone is reading every word in your post, nor understanding every word.

All you have to do is ask the owners first, just a quick “are they okay to say hello”☺️

That way the humans have a chance to say yes/no and prevents any dog from ending up in a situation they are unhappy in which can then lead to a bite x

I would assume that if a dog is off lead then it’s friendly. Our local park is off leash during certain hours and all the dogs always socialise!

YANBU you sound like a responsible dog owner

People on mumsnet are also bonkers about dogs 🙄

YANBU. I would have assumed the other dog wasn’t nervous if off lead when other dogs are around. I have a 6 month old and we are training at the moment. I only let him off lead if I can see there are no dogs or other people around and as soon as I see there is I call him back and put his lead on. If another dog off lead approaches mine I get mine to wait until I’m sure from the owner that it’s ok but we are both still learning

Honestly, OP, I think dog ownership in the UK has gone absolutely barmy. The general rule of thumb always was - dog off lead = fine to approach. Dog on lead/ called back when they see you = not fine to approach.

This was generally followed but I’ve found in more recent years the opposite problem to yours, which is people letting their dog approach mine on lead. It pisses me off royally as I’m trying to train her to be sensible with other dogs and they just come flying at us. Gah. Rant over.

I hate the "my dog is friendly" brigade who are oblivious to their excitable dog bounding to my nervous one, as she barks to try and scare them off.

But that's not your situation at all. You sound like a responsible dog owner with well trained dogs. Ignore her.

She was crazy (so are some of the people
replying on this thread); you are normal.

Think it depends where you are. We usually walk our dog in the park across the road, and generally assume that she’s ok to greet any off lead dog (unless I look at the other dog and decide otherwise) because it’s always full of dogs, children etc and would be the last place you’d let an unsociable dog off lead

Anywhere more remote: beach, woods, open fields etc I’d generally shout over and check in case it’s an unsociable dog having a leg stretch and the owners were hoping not to bump into anyone!

You’ve done nothing wrong. I had a grumpy old dog (who I loved dearly) who was almost always on lead (he was off when I was sure no-one else was around, or when he was playing with a group he knew) and I hated the “don’t worry, my dog’s friendly” brigade. You’re not that person - you’re the person I was really grateful to come across, who saw my old boy on-lead and recalled their dog. Of course off lead dogs should be able to socialise with other off lead dogs, when there’s no yellow jackets etc

I also think it's fine. I'm pretty much the same as you. She was being a dick.

She was in the wrong. My dog loves running around but doesn’t really like other dogs spoiling her fun. She’s been flipped quite a few times by bigger dogs, which annoys me and her. I recall her when I see big dogs, but sometimes they come out of nowhere.

YANBU and sounds like you have v good dog etiquette.

I have a rescue dog who stays on the lead and we are working him out at the moment! He's a terrier so prob won't be off lead ever as he's see a squirrel and be gone...

Anyway, every single off lead walker in this suburban area says 'ooh my dog is friendly' 'ooh my dog loves saying hello' and I spend every walk avoiding them and explaining 'oh lovely well mine isn't so watch out!' or politer words to that effect. I'd really appreciate it if you walked near me and popped your dog back on the lead.

What @sazzy5 said! Off lead = friendly. But when owner recalls their dog then I recall mine. If owner doesn’t react then I leave mine to say hello and have a bit of a play.

I recall my dog when there's someone with a dog on a lead or for a bike. That's about it. I don't even recall her from children because there's no need - she's naturally wary of other people and won't approach them (or allow them to approach her) unless I'm right beside her so won't get closer than about 10 feet away.

Offlead dogs she'll approach to say hello and I always assume this is fine and have never prevented it (or experienced any other offlead dog walker who's had an issue).

If you have a dog that's very nervous or not friendly towards other dogs then it shouldn't be offlead.

If the dog is off lead it’s basically fair game.

if a dog is nervous then it’s a good idea to keep a keen eye whilst they are off lead to ensure they don’t get spooked by any boisterous or energised dogs.

But ultimately if dogs are off the lead then whatever happens, happens. And no one gets to complain (obviously assuming no aggression).

YANBU - I have two dogs one very sociable and one not fussed by other dogs/people whatsoever. Both go on off lead runs, most dogs need this on a daily basis to sustain a healthy lifestyle. I keep an eye out the same as you and if anything on your list is apparent I recall and put on the leads on straight away.

As you were in a forest I think the onus is on the nervous dog owner to ensure her dog feels secure, this means going to a secluded more enclosed area where you can see from every angle whilst the dog has a run. You simply cannot expect other dogs to not approach yours when both off lead. That dog owner should have recalled her dog and politely explained it’s nervous, to which I’m sure the whole encounter would have been over in seconds as you recalled your dog. I can understand why you are upset but hopefully this was a one off 💐

My dog doesn’t want to play with other dogs. He wants to chase his ball a bit and sniff. I don’t think I should have to put him on a lead in order for people to keep their dogs away.

She was nuts. You and your dog sound great. Some of the early responses are mental.

@OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon my nervous dog is off lead all the time, she’s a high energy working breed and she lives to run in the trees and chases squirrels and birds. She is very nervous of other dogs, she hides behind me and avoids them. She doesn’t need to go on lead because she’s avoidant, but I do put her on lead when a dog is coming purely to signal to the other owner that they need to stop their dog from approaching. The other woman here was very much in the wrong, but nervous dogs do not need to be on lead at all times.

I’ve got another very sociable dog who I recall in the situations OP mentions, I’d let her approach an off lead dog absolutely. Sorry you met a nutter OP!

I do the same as you - the other owner sounds batshit. If you have a nervous dog, the last thing you do is let it run around off lead if there are other dogs around.

YABU.

Off lead doesn’t mean your dog should just amble up - there’s always going to be dog off the lead that ARENT friendly. You should always ask and never assume.

One of my dogs doesn’t like other dogs. She walks perfectly to heel, off lead. Never run away or broken recall. Won’t even look at another dog. By your logic I should leash her…because your dog wants to say hi and because she’s off the lead she’s got to want to say hi to your dog? No.

She’s an asshole. Anyone with dogs knows that the rule is….approach other on lead dogs, lead yours. If approaching dogs are kept off lead, keep yours off. My dogs have absolute recall but I don’t recall them if we see other off lead dogs and it’s never, ever been a problem. It has been that way since I’ve had dogs, so more than 30 years!

The dog was in an area where they're allowed to be off lead.
There was no child involved.
Did you not read the OP?

I have a nervous dog. She has great recall but can get spooked by another dog approaching her in a boisterous way. Therefore I keep her on lead as she is a flight risk when scared.

I really dislike off lead dogs approaching her when she is on lead, so much so that I now no longer walk her in areas where most dogs are off lead as other dogs may not have good recall/owners not in sight. We've had a few near misses.

I think you sound like you do all the right things with your dogs and the other people you encountered do not.