Phrases to use to people who take the UTTER piss

[thisisasurvivor]

May I preface this by saying my friend can be so so decent and really cares about us

But sometimes she takes the utter piss

So her child is sick
I have three reports to do
She drops him to my house the night before he is due to go to school the next day as snow was forecast and he needed minding the next day

I was so gobsmacked I said nothing
Like the fool I am

Next day picks him up at 6pm
Well her wanker husband did
No thank you
Just wanted to know what I had fed him etc
She didn't text thanks

So
For the people who can be really lovely
But also really shitty

Help me with polite ways to say this must stop

She thinks my wfh is sending a few emails drinking coffee
Two hour lunch breaks

My wfh could be 6am to 5 some days
Mostly it is chaotic

Anyway from now on it's a firm no
Even when she lands at my door last minute .com

Op you seem to be saying you are a walkover but then being snippy when posters here are asking questions about how this could have happened.
What happened when she came with her son, did she just turn up unexpected, did she drop him at the door, what conversation happened?
The reason I'm asking as there is no possible scenario I can imagine where someone expects you to look after their ill child with no conversation taking place.
She either asked you to have him and you agreed or she dropped a child at your door that you weren't expecting. If it's the former, you agreed, the latter you phone her and ask what the hell is going on

She's a user. Tell her you can't do it because you are working and to never do that to you again. She will probably end the "friendship," which tells you everything you need to know about her. Good riddance.

At some relevant point in conversation drop in a cheery "there's a name for people like you" then if they ask to clarify you tell them they're a cheeky fucker

Lol got no problem answering back on here though have you?

Use this attitude in real life and you won't have a problem.

Why did you agree to have him while you are working.

The previous suggested text is good if you want to pick her up on her behaviour. If you don’t just text. ‘letting you know in advance I can’t look after Timmy anymore. It isn’t compatible with work so you will have to make other arrangements.’

Full stop. No explanations.

How rude. That poster is correct, your posts are written very disjointedly, and look like poems.

People treat us how we allow them.

She’s right though. Why say you need ‘a kick up the bum’ and then get offended when someone takes the time out of their day to give it?

You are making her problems your problems.

‘I can’t get her to do this’ and ‘I can’t her her to do that.’

All you need to say is no, that doesn’t work for me.

Funny how these people pleasers can be assertive online!

Channel this rudeness and be rude to your ‘friend’ and say no.

And learn to say no. People take the piss because they can and think you're a soft touch. It's a hard lesson to learn but liberating when you have.

"Get a life would you".

This is a good basis to start from with your cf 'friend'.

Get a clue would you.
Get a grip would you.
Get a childminder would you.
Get a part-time job would you.
Get some manners would you.
Get some appreciation would you.
Get some other people in your life to take the piss out of would you.

You can do this OP 😃

Quite.

@thisisasurvivor

Alternatively start asking her for favours that totally benefit you instead,

See what happens then,

You will find that she will make up plenty of excuses often or total radio 📻 silence so much you will think 🤔 as she decided to move home or get ready to emigrate to other side of the world like Australia

Or

she will like drop off the face of the world,
like one of those those tiresome Conspiracies theories often bandied about in lockdowns,

Win win for you
Good result

You can let her know by text that's you find it quite strange that she is doing a sudden Houndi escape artist famous dispearing trick ,

I wonder if it's cause you are massive Cheeky fucker User, !
that's my theory...

@thisisasurvivor

You could even make up a invoice saying how 🤔 much you will charge for childminding and nannying services in future if this carrys on in the near future,

it be quite easy to do a bit of research and find how much they charge ect

then send her a text message on Facebook or WhatsApp ect
Watch what her expressions on her face and body language tell you when she catches sight of her
L.o.l 🤣

love to be a fly on the wall see her body language after getting a email or text message like that

Don’t JADE: justify argue defend or explain.

Just day no. Then shrug shen she starts wheedling. Every time you JADE you enter into a debate which you will lose. You think you can persuade her but you can’t.

I would avoid 'I can't' and say 'I won't' instead. 'Can't' will lead to your 'friend' finding solutions to all the reasons you 'can't' continue to have the piss ripped out you- 'won't' says loud and clear that this is a choice you are making and that you will no longer be a doormat. Don't lie about taking time off, working form other places etc. she knows what she is doing, start saying no and mean it- I bet she soon moves on and finds someone else to take the piss out of. You are not a friend in her eyes, You are a dumping ground

I agree with PPs - don't give her a reason. Ever. She will simply find a way around it. I'd also question the friendship - if she really cares, would she keep using you like this?

You could also send her a message 'You're welcome' and see if she can work it out.

Did you buy him a takeaway?

Get a Ring doorbell and lock your door. Pull the curtains so she can't see inside.

Pretend to be working on site.

Or pull on your big girl pants and tell her 'no'.

Addendum

The Redfit guys inform social services. A bit extreme and only if she leaves the poor boy on your doorstep

I'm more of a direct person 🤷‍♀️
So it would be a firm no not happening you need to sort out different childcare!

'Nope, unable to do that now - boss is cracking down hard on those he thinks have dropped in productivity when WFH, so will either have to go into the office or be available and working every second.
I can't mind him when I'm working any more than you can when you are.'

Why would he have been coming to you the next day anyway?

Don’t say yes when she asks you for childcare, say no. If she just turns up with him, say, ‘I’m not doing childcare for you, why are you here?’

What did your last slave die of?

My name is not Super Nanny

I'm not called Mary Poppins

Just say the job has ramped up - you are on constant video calls and cannot look after a child while working from home. Sometimes you barely get your own lunch hour. You pay for childcare and she can too. She sees you as a soft touch.

Have you messaged her?