Is my DH overreacting over dream?

[Sunsetred]

I sent a message to a friend who is gay (opposite sex) detailing a dream which I had which involved him. It was not a romantic dream. My DH has seen my message and is now acting like I've committed adultery. He says it was flirting? He's a man and he's gay and he's in a relationship with a man. My DH is demanding answers and that I make it up to him.

I've told my DH that he's being pathetic and ridiculous. A I being unreasonable or is my DH?

Not odd at all. I frequently have bizarre dreams about various of my friends and I occasionally tell them, if it was particularly weird or funny. They also tell me about theirs. Some people have an idle interest in dreams (and in my case nothing better to do than think about them sometimes!).

It wasn't a sexual dream. This has been stated clearly.

Oh I completely misread!
Thanks!

Then that’s absolutely ridiculous of him to be annoyed about something so trivial.

The other night I dreamed that I was planning my wedding to DH's brother (who I'm very fond of but not like that). DH thought it was hilarious.

Laughed aloud at this

I'd make it up to him by buying him a couple of fancy suitcases then packing all his clothes in them and shipping him out.

He is definitely being a dick!

I have odd dreams about friends, if i talk to them often I may well tell them if its particularly amusing or weird.

We can't control what we dream about and expecting anyone to do so is beyond odd!

Your DH is a bit of a saddo, isn't he? I mean, I had a major sex dream about Barack Obama when I was still married and my then husband didn't give a toss about what my subconscious got up to.

I've just nodded off whilst reading this and had a dream that all the people on this thread were running down a beach wearing parkas and pastel-coloured tutus. They were clomping along because they all had giant feet shaped like horses' hooves, clad in some bizarre kind of metallic fabric orange and silver platform shoes. Each brandished a live lobster and was shouting "JACARANDA!!" at the tops of their lungs.

I told my significant other and he is leaving me for being "inappropriate, batshit crazy and having no sense of fashion or colour co-ordination and also the hooves thing is creepy". I'm a little miffed, to tell you the truth.

He's either shifting blame from himself (cheating himself or other stuff) or is the type of abusive prick that likes to make you feel like you're always in the wrong.

Either way, he has issues and so does your marriage.

Your husband sounds tiresome.

As if we can control who stars in our dreams.

And being jealous of you sending details of a non-sexual dream to your gay male friend? If a husband can be jealous of that he's clearly too far gone to reason with.

I got an random email from a happily married guy who I haven't seen in about 10 years telling me in detail about a dream he had about me the previous night. He didn't mention anything sexual but it was a really weird vivid dream. It was a bit strange but dh just laughed when I told him.

He's an arsehole

This thread demonstrates well how a significant number of people who feel compelled to give their opinion don't even bother to properly read the opening post.

This is mad to me. It's just a normal dream, not a sex or romantic dream. I don't want to be the only person in my DH's life, let alone his subconscious. I'm his wife, not his entire world.

Also does that mean bisexual people can't dream of anyone at all except their partners....

Your husband is an insecure idiot.

As for “making it up to him”, tell him you’ll dream he’s a controlling asshole tonight @Sunsetred

Who your subconscious uses to populate your dreams is not exactly in your control.

I would never tell another man I dreamt about him.

It's rather intimate, regardless of what the dream was about or the other parties sexuality.

But your DHs reaction is a bit ott considering your specific circumstances.

Honestly. You need to work on your reading. There was no mention of anything sexual or romantic

I had a dream once where my workmates sister (who I've never even met) helped us break in to the factory during a zombie apocalypse.
Random weird dreams happen, don't see how he doesn't get that

I don’t get why people in really shitty relationships come on here and post (invariably in AIBU) to get advice about some silly transgression, while ignoring or omitting the festering cancer that is their actual relationship.

Clearly (I mean, bright, shining light ‘clearly’) this is not about you sending a text to your mate about a dream you had about him, and your DH’s reaction.

Why not head over to relationships and outline the actual issues, where you’ll get knowledgeable, sympathetic and constructive advice that you can actually take forward and make a difference to your life?

Just googled him How did you come back from that, I would have been turned off sex forever.

Reminds me of when Jackie got cross with Martin in Friday Night Dinner because he dreamt he was in a bath of milk with Lady Di.

She had a completely innocuous dream about her friend in work, are you actually that insecure that your partner dreaming about another woman in that context would upset you? Because that's legitimately pathetic.

It sounds like you have bigger problems than DH policing your dreams.

🤣