Is my DH overreacting over dream?

[Sunsetred]

I sent a message to a friend who is gay (opposite sex) detailing a dream which I had which involved him. It was not a romantic dream. My DH has seen my message and is now acting like I've committed adultery. He says it was flirting? He's a man and he's gay and he's in a relationship with a man. My DH is demanding answers and that I make it up to him.

I've told my DH that he's being pathetic and ridiculous. A I being unreasonable or is my DH?

I see nothing wrong in this.

the dream was non romantic or sexual.

the man you messaged is gay so it quite clearly isn’t flirting.

odd behaviour from your husband.

This.

Its disrespectful

@Bernieee your reading comprehension failed. The dream was not sexual.

You what?

The equivalent situation for me would be that my straight, male partner received a message from his male friend (i.e. no chance of any relationship between them), telling DP that he'd dreamt he got him fired last night. Whatever the reason for the message — maybe the friend thought it was funny, or was reminded by the dream that he hadn't chatted to my DP in a while, or some other reason — if I was told about the message, I might think it was an unusual thing to send, but why would I have any feelings about it? For one thing, what my DP chats about with his mates is none of my business, and for another thing, there's absolutely nothing for me to get upset about or even be remotely interested in. It's not flirty, it's not sexual, it's chatting with a mate about a daft dream you had.

@regenerate

can you point out please where in the post the op said it’s was sexually explicit!

op YANBU and your husbands an idiot

I'm interested in your ability to make inferences when your reading and comprehension skills are so poor.

You're coming across as quite aggressive - not sure whether you intend that.

yep, dealt with way upthread

Christ, posts like this make you realise what an understanding chap Bobby Ewing was.

I still tell everyone about a dream I had about 2 blokes at work. One was a zombie who chased my up a firefighters training tower. I was shouting for one of my other male colleagues to come and help me. It was actually really scary at the time, but in hindsight everyone inc dh laughs about it.

and I of course told the bloke at work who didn’t come to rescue me - he laughed of course.

like normal people with normal reactions.

I'd be a bit miffed if my partner had a dream about another woman, regardless of the context

Have you informed your partner that their dreams must be populated solely by men and children?

Edit: Oh, and you, of course. Men, children, and you. Though to be honest, in your position I don't know if I'd be happy with him dreaming about you. I mean, DreamYou isn't really you, is she? So really, if he has a dream with DreamYou in it, regardless of the context, he's being highly inappropriate, and pretty much cheating on RealYou with her.

@GTsundaydriver congratulations for posting one of the most mental posts I’ve ever read on this site 😂 wow 👏

Well this is obviously a bullshit excuse as well.

Am I the only one that dreams about people I know quite a bit, normally wildly out of context, not sexual but triggered by a conversation or event, that gets badly twisted in the dream.

I'd better not tell DH, although I already do and he laughs and goes WTF did that come from!

That’s screwed up. So he expects you to control your dreams and that having other males in your dreams is adultery?!!! That’s all levels of stupid and unpleasant. Dump his arse.

I had a dream that I was having sex with Ross Kemp, told DH and he pissed himself laughing. He doesn't feel in the slightest bit insecure and neither do I when he tells me about dreams he has about sex with random actors, some he fancies and some he doesn't.
Dreams are weird but mostly very funny.

Sky One, 11pm : Ross Kemp on Recycledblonde

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I remember when mn used to be known for having intelligent posters having intelligent discussions.

Well the times they are a-changing.

Yabu because there's nothing more boring than hearing about dreams but you're also married to am insecure jealous idiot

I don't think there is anything odd or inappropriate about telling a mate about a silly dream you had about them. It's a perfectly normal thing for friends to have a laugh about. A sexual dream would be slightly different, but it wasn't one and nothing you've done sounds in any way flirtatious. Your DP's reaction is what's inappropriate. Asking you to make it up to him is a ridiculous overreaction, you've done nothing to make up for. He sounds possessive and controlling. I'm guessing this isn't the first time he's behaved like this?

You bloody better not have! He's mine!! I'm not allowing anyone else to dream about him!

I find it really weird that you even messaged this friend about the dream!?!?

But your husband is over reacting given it was just a dream.

Sounds like this is a symptom of a marriage in difficulty to me.

Thank you for this, this is the funniest thing I've read on here in a while. Dear me.

Just so you know, your partner has 100% had dreams about other women. Probably railing them in several of those dreams too. The horror.

You're welcome, glad to brighten up your day. You're right he probably has, I've had dreams like that but I don't tell my partner, just like he doesn't tell me his dreams about other women. I don't understand OP running to tell her friend she had a dream about him, it's beyond creepy

Would you tell a female friend in the same detail that you told your male friend?

We all have sex dreams but it’s well known that many people will admit it or pretend they have to someone that they’re flirting with/trying to have sex with.

I would need to see the texts and know your friendship better to judge but I don’t think I’d be happy with my DH texting a woman about them having sex in his dream, especially if it went into detail.