Is my DH overreacting over dream?

[Sunsetred]

I sent a message to a friend who is gay (opposite sex) detailing a dream which I had which involved him. It was not a romantic dream. My DH has seen my message and is now acting like I've committed adultery. He says it was flirting? He's a man and he's gay and he's in a relationship with a man. My DH is demanding answers and that I make it up to him.

I've told my DH that he's being pathetic and ridiculous. A I being unreasonable or is my DH?

I can't imagine texting a friend to tell them I'd had a dream about them! (Doesn't everyone occasionally dream about friends as well as family members?) That just seems like a weird thing to do.

But, your husband's reaction is really odd too. How does he even know what you said in your text to your friend, or even that you had texted him? My husband has no idea who I text and why every day. And why does he care?

Make it up to him? How? You did nothing wrong.

Is he normally this weird? Mind you I've seen women kick off at their partners because they 'dream cheated' which is equally stupid, so maybe he's that sort.

But anyway. He's ridiculous

She says it was not a romantic dream.

And OP, your DH is BU.

Sounds like he's a controlling cunt then op

That's not really relevant, I'd be a bit miffed if my partner had a dream about another woman, regardless of the context. I'm also aware you can't control your dreams yet I'd still be upset if he was dreaming about another woman. I think this is something you should have kept to yourself, however I also do think your husband is overreacting.

Although I'm laughing at the pp who said op was inappropriate- like how are you supposed to control your dreams (even lucid dreaming is not easy/that common)?

'Make it up to him', how?

Really? How can you be miffed if he had no control over it?

How exactly is he suggesting you make it up to him?

I think he's being a bit ridiculous and controlling.

@GTsundaydriver you cannot really be serious!

Are you?

That's one of the funniest MN things I've ever read!

Pollock's he was snooping!

That should've been bollocks not pollocks!

I’m not sure you really need to ask us … do you?

(of course he’s overreacting)

@GTsundaydriver whaaaat??

I once dreamt I was having torrid sex with Alan Beith. Woke up genuinely traumatised. Told DH, who laughed like a drain and teased me about it for days.

It's not normal to be so insecure and controlling that you take offence at your partner's dreams.

It wasn’t inappropriate at all! Give your head a wobble. Why would the friend’s partner feel anything about it?

That's not really relevant, I'd be a bit miffed if my partner had a dream about another woman, regardless of the context. I'm also aware you can't control your dreams yet I'd still be upset if he was dreaming about another woman. I think this is something you should have kept to yourself, however I also do think your husband is overreacting.

This is absurd. Dreams are random.

What?????

Have you never had a dream about a male friend or colleague?

Massively weird overreaction. I hope you don't intend to 'make it up' to him?

Anyone who holds their partner's innocent dream against them is an absolute task and not worth doing.
You're never going to win with someone who thinks like that.

Your husband is insane. Nobody can control what they fucking dream about! He sounds like a jealous, controlling prick.

He is 'demanding answers' and saying you have to 'make it up to him'? What the hell?

Does he expect your dreams - something you have LITERALLY NO CONTROL over - to only ever feature women? What does he think dreams even are? Does he think it's like choosing a film to watch, or something? If dreaming about someone or something means you must secretly desire them/it, people wouldn't have bloody nightmares, would they?

Honestly, he's an unreasonable, irrational, unpleasant twat.

Love this ☺️

You're as unreasonable as the OP's husband, I'm afraid.

Your "DH"is a pillock and shouldn't even be reading your messages.

@GTsundaydriver enough posters have told you how unreasonable you are so I’ll just add that getting pissed at your partner for having a dream is abusive behaviour and you need to take a look at yourself.