To report the engineer that came to my house?

[Thejewellershands]

I am a 31 year old woman, and today a guy came round to my house to fit a new energy meter. I am a very friendly person who likes to be polite so I greeted him and let him in, asked if he would like a drink etc. I was planning on just going upstairs and telling him to shout if he needs me, but he was really chatty so I just stayed in the room and carried on the conversation with him. He was just asking me normal things at first like how long I have lived here, if I have kids etc. I was asking him if he has plans for the weekend. Just normal stuff. I really shouldn’t have done this, because for some reason this gave him some sort of green light to be very very inappropriate.

After he asked me if I have children he started speaking about his own kids. He told me that his first was conceived through an affair. I was a bit taken aback that he told me this, but then it just got worse. He said he hasn’t had sex with his wife for 27 years and has had multiple affairs. He told me all about her intimacy problems. I was feeling uncomfortable but I didn’t know what to say, I was scared because I was in the house alone with him. So I just tried to change the subject. He kept bringing it back to sexual things though. He said that it was on his bucket list to sleep with a woman of a certain race and he achieved this last year through an affair. He told me she was a customer of his, he went to her house and she was a single mother living alone so a few days later he went back to her house unannounced and took her some food shopping to help her out. I am horrified by this. I want to report him.

he made sexist, racist and homophobic comments. After he tad told me a few things he asked me if I had any stories. I said no. So he asked me if I am a nun. I said no obviously not. He said “have you ever wanted to be naughty?” So I said no. I just wanted him out of my house and I was very scared. He said some more things which I won’t mention and eventually I left the room making an excuse that I needed to go and make sure my cat was ok upstairs and I stayed up there until he shouted me. As he was leaving he asked me “would you swipe left or right?” I said “what??” He said “on tinder. For me” I said I don’t know sorry and shut the door in his face. I locked all of the doors and it’s been 30 minutes and he’s still sat outside.

I want to report him but what if he knows it’s me? Am I being reasonable to be scared or am I overreacting? I’m shocked and disgusted and just so upset and wondering if it was something I did or said to make him say all of that. I didn’t bring any of it up I was just trying to be nice. I know people will probably think I brought it on myself or egged it on by staying there but I just wasn’t sure what to do for the best so I was just trying to be polite and go along with him. But for future I really will just be letting people in and going straight upstairs and not engaging in conversation

Send the complaint now. So sorry you had to go through this. ❤

If he loses his job it's completely down to him. He showed absolutely no boundaries even when you were trying to extract yourself from the conversation

Report without delay.
He is a massive red flag to lone women😡

(I think he needed to fit something back on I’m not sure because it was near the end and by this point I wasn’t entirely listening because I just wanted him gone)

I would check that he hasn't fitted a camera or some kind of listening device. He sounds creepy as fuck.

He's not going to loose his job. He might get a warning.

This is a good point, might be worth having someone else look over his work.

What was he fixing??

Its worth pointing out that regardless of time to complaint he will be told which customer complained, he will have a right of reply as part of the disciplinary procedure, and therefore he needs to be told which call out complained - thats standard practice - as unfortunately there a rogue customers who just complain to be awkward.

That depends if he is already in hot water for his behaviour - however if he is a good engineer (of which there is broadly a shortage) a warning is more likely, or if it's a "laddish" depot, maybe just laughs all round.

What a vile disgusting man, I'm so sorry this happened to you (I had something of a sort of similar nature happen to me, and it really shook me up, it is horrible)
I would definitely report to the company and the non emergency police, he is intimidating you by sitting outside your house.

It is in no way your fault, you did nothing that a normal friendly person wouldn't do, I often chat to workmen who come to the house and have perfectly nice normal conversations with them without them thinking it is an excuse to be sexual and creepy. You were just very unfortunate to come across a horrible disgusting pig , who gets his kicks out of talking dirty to women and trying to scare them

You did nothing wrong at all, what a weirdo. Steer clear and stay safe x

Genuinely shocked (and disappointed) how many women have experienced similar.

I understand your fear in reporting him, op, but I think it's the right thing to do.

Please report him. And please do it in writing (an email) to have evidence that you did. Insist on your email to be acknowledged. It could be invaluable in the future to build a picture of his behaviour and negligence of the company if they choose to do nothing.

I was sexually assaulted by a man who was on the rounds to read gas meters.
So don't ignore this, he could do much worse.

I have written my complaint in my drafts while everything was fresh in my mind. I am mentally exhausted so I’m going to go over it tomorrow and will send in the morning.

I told my mum about this straight away and she got extremely worried and has bought me a ring doorbell which I’m very grateful for

It sounds like he's probably the same with other single women, so please report him, I can't see that he'd know it was you. And so what if he did? If he turned back up at your home, which I can't see that he would, just call the police and explain to them what's happened. Good luck and keep us updated ❤❤❤

Your mum sounds so lovely. Glad you’ve written stuff down op. Hope you can relax and enjoy your weekend now. I’m sure you’re perfectly safe at home, don’t let him get in your head any further.

Report please so he can't do this to someone else. He acted disgustingly - should not be working in that sort of job if he can't be professional.

You should have voice recorded him on your phone, and sued his company for sexual harassment... but I know in the moment you usually don't think to do these things, he is an utter loser.

Consider it a very steep learning curve. He was a stranger. You didn't know him. And you've now experienced how a predator operates. Of course predators are chatty and charming at first. Then they look for opportunities to push boundaries. Just for the record, your best excuse is "Damn, it's past 10, I need to call Simon." And call someone. You're less vulnerable as a victim, if you're speaking to someone and state who is doing what in your home. "Sorry, I meant to call 10 minutes ago but Dave, from X company arrived to fit the meter. Yes, I can talk, let me just take the phone outside/upstairs." Do you report him? He knows where you live. I would get someone who sounds like your mother to report him. What you want is the incident on record. Your mother should be outraged on your behalf. His company will be unhappy if he claims to have had affairs with customers. What you want to achieve is the incident on record at his workplace. He'll downplay it. But if something happens with another woman - your (mother's) voice could make a difference.

My mum did actually offer to do this. When I first told her she was furious and she was about to call the company but then stopped herself and asked me first. But I thought it would’ve been better coming from me?

It’s not your fault and he’s taken your kindness and trashed it with his filthy misogynistic idealism. Dirty, dirty bastard.

Hope you’re ok, I’d feel the same as you, I’d be shell shocked.

I once had a Morrisons delivery guy that was a bit too friendly, he came into my house with the shopping instead of leaving at the door for me to handle, then he started chatting generally asking me about my life. I told him my husband was in the police and due back anytime now. He soon shot off, my hubby isn’t a copper, but it worked 😝

He told me she was a customer of his, he went to her house and she was a single mother living alone so a few days later he went back to her house unannounced and took her some food shopping to help her out. I am horrified by this. I want to report him

This sounds like it’s been taken out of the book The Gift Of Fear.

Call his company NOW and ask to speak to he or a director . They need to know this person is a danger to their customers . This I imagine would be a sackable offence as it should be . Also report to the police and explain how unsafe you feel as he knows where you live

I've just read through all the comments again in case I missed any and it's brought up a very long buried experience.
I worked as a residential support worker for a big organisation from 1991 to 2012, who provided Mental Health services in a lot of locations around my home city. Group homes mainly. They employed a local family run company to clean the carpets in all the properties when needed. I'd started the job when I was 22 and I wasn't a very confident person back then, especially when it came to confrontation etc.
This man was the owner of the cleaning company and his wife was also a part of the team. They were both clearly in their 60's.
I was in one of the small kitchens on the first floor making myself a cuppa and he came in and started cleaning the adjoining small dining room carpet. Suddenly, he was blocking the kitchen doorway and telling me what an "ugly bitch" his wife was (while looking round to make sure she wasn't around) how he liked a bit of fun and she was a bore etc, then he started making lewd remarks about what he'd like to do to me. I began to feel really uncomfortable, still not saying anything and made to leave the kitchen. Next thing I know, he had me pinned against the worktop, rubbing his erection against me. I can't for the life of me remember how I got out of there now, but I did and went down into the office. My male boss was in there and recognised there was something seriously wrong. I tried to tell him as upset and shaken as I was and he got enough of the gist of it. Head office was next door to our building at the time and he asked me if I'd prefer to speak to a female manager. I nodded and he rang over to get someone to come and get me. I went over and made a statement and he was asked to leave the building while I was at head office. The female manager thankfully, from my company made enquiries at all the other properties he'd been to, asking if there had been any issues with that company. (Some of these properties had lone female workers if they only had 4 or 5 tenants). Turns out, I wasn't the first, there were several others, around 6 if I remember right, who hadn't dared speak up. His company folded not long after I believe.
My point is there could be many more out there afraid to speak up too. The thing is, I didn't engage with this man at all. I was busy making my drink when he just started talking. If they're that type of creepy predator, they'll try anything they can, in the hope they get lucky. I'm glad I managed to speak out and that others came forward too. I don't know if their experiences had been as serious as mine, as I wasn't privvy to that information, but his actions had obviously been serious enough for some sort of action to be taken against him.

Well done for speaking out, not easy at that age xx

Well done OP, you've done a good thing for other women. I hope it all works out well.

Thank you. No it wasn't, especially as I say, I wasn't very confident back then, in a new job etc. I also didn't think I'd be believed, I don't know why when I think about it. And that turned out to not be the case thankfully, which helped me a lot moving forward. I did worry for a few weeks that he'd be waiting outside for me on the long lane that ran up to the main road. There were plenty of areas he could have dragged me into. It wasn't a good couple of months, no wonder I blocked it out! x