To think we need to find a way to infiltrate the dog cult?

[dogsdilemma]

I'll start by saying I favour cats but love all animals. I don't want a dog just now because I find them tying. Would date someone who had one because, contrary to what I'm about to say, I like them and it wouldn't be my responsibility.

But the obsession drives me nuts. It seems no one can own a dog in a normal way anymore. As in I have a dog, the dog is a pet not a person, dogs aren't god-like solve all creatures, it's fine if not everyone loves my dog as much as me - like I am with my cat.

Someone gets a puppy and I go to their house - all conversation is about the puppy and I'm expected to fuss like they've just given birth. I can't say 'ah I've actually come to catch up with my friend, not have endless chat about the puppy's sleep schedule and whether or not it shat in the house today' because their dogs are their babies, so I should treat them as such.

Instagram accounts for dogs - captions written like 'my mum took me for a walk today, I had so much fun'. Only mildly cringy but wtf? Are you a springer spaniel mother or Katie from uni?

I do an exercise class and the owner has a puppy. She brings him along so he's not home alone. At least 15 minutes of the session I've paid for is always taken up by the hive mind fussing the puppy. Everyone loves dogs so no one minds apparently - except I DO mind. If I say this though I'm gonna be the dick.

I'm OLD, and every other profile says 'must love dogs'. I do love them but don't want one, and if I say this it's like I've confessed to being Hitler in a past life. Cue messages trying to change my mind, as though not being obsessed with dogs is a moral failure. I love my cat but wouldn't rule out someone who doesn't feel the same?

The final nail in the coffin. I've been dating someone new. Had an absolute shitter of a week so far - nothing he can help with, not really serious, just work stuff. His response is 15 pictures of his dog being cute to cheer me up. He's just trying to be nice but I do not get it. I wouldn't expect pictures of my cat to cheer anyone up except, maybe, me. I'm being narky but I actually found it so so irritating and cannot even fake enthusiasm to reply. If I say 'awwww cute, thank you' he'll continue with this approach. If I say 'cute but why would your dog cheer me up ha' I'm gonna look like a knob.

I have no problem with others doing what they want to do but recently it is infiltrating everything. I know there are worse issues but ffs it's so annoying - what is this dog cult and how to we stop it? Can I tell this lovely man I'm dating that I actually have little interest in his dog?!?!?

I used to be you... then I got a dog.

Am now a fully fledged cult member.

Having a puppy is all consuming in the early days so it's the first thing on the owners mind most of the time. If you don't like it, don't visit until things have settled.

I'm not on insta or Facebook, but I follow loads of dog accounts on tiktok because I want to see dogs, these things are social media, so people clearly want to share with other people who love dogs. Just block them.

Get a different excersise class if you don't like that one.

You and the guy you're dating are clearly incompatible, that's OK, that's what dating is for. You'll probably find as many guys through OLD who don't want dogs as well if you look. Just don't reply to or message the dog lovers and then complain about it.

I have no problem with others doing what they want to do but recently it is infiltrating everything

You do have a problem though, you want others to change what they are doing to accommodate you, whereas you could just seek out others who aren't dog people to socialise with.

Completely agree but it wont be a popular opinion on here! I've known some lovely dogs in the past but I'm sick of them being everywhere these days and how people treat like them like actual children.

I hear you OP. This week I read an article about 5 star hotels that are "dog-friendly", with photo of pair of dogs on fabulous luxury bed. Ugh ...

I completely agree with you. Except, where you actually like dogs, I don't. I really do not like dogs.

@StopTheBusINeedAWeeWeeAWeeWeeBagOChips saved me from writing a reply because they've summed it up so brilliantly!

I don't really understand why you say you love dogs and just don't want one @dogsdilemma. You're clearly not a dog lover and that's totally ok! You can like them/think they're nice but to most dog lovers they ARE like people and that's ok too.

I completely agree.
I also hate when they act like that and then are so shocked that I don't feel anything towards their dog and definitely do not want to stroke them or worse have them jumping on me.
I understand the happiness a pet can bring a household but this is next level craziness.

Trouble is, once you infiltrate the Group by getting a dog you yourself become enthralled by your dog so your cause is lost.

Your best bet is to tell people who are banging on and on about their dog to STFU.

As for 'Fur Babies', I have no words.

You dontneed to infiltrate the cult you need to keep away from it.

Find a different exercise class. Click away from insta accounts that bother you. Block OLD idiots who get in touch to tell you your life choices are wrong.

(BTW there's a cult of cat people who are just as bad).

Dog owners are crazy. That’s why there are so many dog attacks these days.

If someone has a dog that’s a sure fire way for me to know to avoid them.

We had a dog when I was a kid, and the dog died of old age. Now .. it would have “walked over the rainbow bridge” (cringe)
We had a dog not a “fur baby”, it never went in a pub, cafe or supermarket.

It’s attention seeking rubbish …

I work in a high end shop. We don't allow dogs. When people ask if they can bring them in and we say no they are most put out. One person even said "oh but you allow children?" With the Mumsnet tinkly laugh and head tilt.

You're right op. Its out of hand. Recently I've noticed that (dog owning) friends are keen to recruit me into the cult, and get a dog. I explain I don't want the responsibility, they just keep on 'oh no, you will love it, it will change your life etc'. Just leave me alone!! Tou can like dogs without having one!!!

Not sure I agree. Quite a few of my friends have dogs. They're dogs, not fur babies and they love their pets but don't get overly sentimental.
I on the other hand have a baby (cat) who sleeps with me and gets posh food and spoilt. My down to earth dog owning chums look at me with a mixture of horror and pity.

It's often tied in with social media knobheadedness ime.

We have a dog. I love her. We make some sacrifices (lazy days in, time, small financial) so she can have a nice life. But she's treated like a dog.

She's young (18 months) but I fully accept and understand that she's likely to die far before I do and although I'm sure I'll be very upset when she does - I'm OK with that. I'll grieve, sure. I'll remember her. Probably talk fondly of her time to time. But then I'll get another dog and life goes on.

There are several people on my fb that post continuous updates and statuses about their dogs like 'me and you forever' or 'my absolute world' and the like. And in rl these people go into total meltdown at the slightest sign of illness...proper panicked 'I don't know what I'll do if' mode. They seem to revolve their whole life around the dog.

I'm not a dick so I'd not comment on this. But internally I'm thinking 'you know this is a dog right? You know it's probably going to be dead in ten years, right? By the time you're 40? So it's not really you and her forever now is it?' 🤔

I mostly agree, and I have a dog. The only thing I would say is that having a puppy is EXHAUSTING (I would never do it!) and I understand why people become single-minded when they're going through it. But otherwise, I'm with you, OP! I love my dog, but he's my dog. I don't expect other people to love him or want to hear about him or see pictures of him. But then I don't expect people to love my kid, either!

Personally I find looking at photos of other people's pets tiresome, apart from the occasional photo.

YANBU - and it's not good for the dogs, either. They are not small humans in fur suits doing cute things for our benefit. They are sentient beings with their own perceptions of how the world works (some of which don't fit with our feelings about what is socially acceptable, hence training).

That puppy in the exercise class? Quite possibly tired and frightened by having so many people focus on it.

“If I say 'cute but why would your dog cheer me up ha' I'm gonna look like a knob.”

But you’re pretending to be someone you aren’t, so that other people will like you? I couldn’t live like that and it would get on my nerves to try. Be true to yourself and speak up.

Of course, you will be outcast by members of the cult. 😂 But seriously, if you don’t say enough with the dog, he’s going to continue!

The thing is I did start out by just avoiding dog fanatics - but then my friends who I have had for YEARS became these people. I obviously don't want to upset them or abandon the friendship, but I just think it's crazy.

It is suddenly every other profile on the dating apps, on social media, in cafes etc. Everywhere.

I feel like I can't get away from it and it's doing my head in!

MN is so anti dogs
personally I prefer them to people. 🙂

I agree with you OP. However I do like @stayathomer cheeky photo 😍😂

I have a dog, who I love. Who I think is amazing and cute and loveable. But she is my dog.

I also have a Dd who I love infinitely more than the dog. I genuinely don't get people who love their dogs like their children?!

I echo everything in your post and until I read this I've actually felt like a terrible, neglectful dog owner. She's more than well looked after, fed, exercised, played with. But I'm under no illusion she's anything 'special' to anyone but me and my Dd. If I have a guest, I tend to keep her in another room (in a big comfy padded dog bed with a chew), and when we're out I keep myself and my dog to ourselves unless someone proactively tries to interact with her.

My DP on the other hand is obsessed with his dog. Expects it to be the centre of everyone else's universe. He often says he doesn't know how he'll cope if he dies etc. the evenings we're not together (we don't live together) I get a photo of his dog sleeping. Every night. All the pics look identical. I've stopped acknowledging/replying to them and change the subject. He seems oblivious. I tried sending a pic of my dog back but he loves that 🤦🏽‍♀️

We can just be watching tv together and he'll pause the tv or interrupt to say "aw look how cute X is" and gazes at him like he's a newborn baby.

My DP doesn't have dc and he seems to think his love for his dog is similar to my love for my Dd.
My Dd goes to her dads and I miss her, he thinks it's comparable to him not seeing his dog for the same amount of time.

I consciously don't send him updates of why my Dd does one a daily basis, how cute she looks, what position she's lying in, whether she's been a "good girl" - let alone what my own dog does. So why would I care what his does??

Or I arrange to meet my dsis for lunch and she turns up with her dog while mine is at home chilled out in her bed. Why do they need to come everywhere?

PS as much as this is a rant about my DP, I agree with your comments about society in general, and that's as a dog owner! I just ended up on a rant...