Would you have a baby at 50?

[pumpkinpatch6]

Off the back of the "Do you regret having a baby at 40" thread, would you have a child at 50 assuming you can provide for it emotionally and financially? Obviously medical assistance would be needed.

I'm so very sorry that this thread seems to be triggering you. Nobody is gloating. Progress are answering the question that was asked - and talking about the family that they have and when they had them is part of that answer.

If you haven't managed to have much-wanted children, I'm so very sorry. I have both a friend and a cousin in that situation. One has gone on to have a fabulous life (marrying a fairly wealthy man helped though), one hasn't been able to let go of the longing and it has colored pretty much everything in her life. It's like there's this bit missing and she'll never be whole. She's such a caring, lovely person, she would have been an amazing mother.

I'm so sorry if that's your experience.

Very easy to say when you have childtrn.

God no.

Most 50 year olds I know would be knackered looking after their grandchildren for a few hours let alone their own newborn! Would be extremely selfish.

I’m absolutely knackered from it at 34 - so no!

Not a chance would I carry a baby, give birth and bring up a infant. Also you have no idea if you could cope emotionally etc as you would not know how the pregnancy and birth would effect you.

Being a parent and adopting, fostering etc at 50 is a different question and that could be a possibility.

Not a chance.

This is my reality next year and there is no way I would even consider it.

i would be almost seventy by the time they reached adulthood and partying late at night.

No, no no.

I think people are unrealistic about their likely prospects.

Early 40s it can still be doable. By 45 onwards your chances are vanishingly slim. Your body would likely have to cope with the perimenopause at the same time, and the medical dangers for the mother would also increase sharply.

The ones who do this are very much the anomalies. It's rubbish, I get that, and life can be painfully unfair. But unfortunately these are the biological realities.

Depends really, if someone started their family in their 40s, then (if possible) having another one when they were 50 wouldn't be too outlandish as they would still be in the young children phase of life, but if they already had grown up children, then no way - just wait for the grandkids to come along!

The OP asked and I answered @x2boys. Personally, I would not be able to look after elderly mum and have a newborn. Neither would DH; he is looking to reire by 56 as he has a stressful job. Perhaps you or other people can. If so, carry on.

I don't judge anyone with children at 50, but it's not for me. I have a friend who had a baby at 41, and she struggles.

I disagree. The body is starting to age fast, the exhaustion alone would be a killer. Children require so much energy.

Sorry...not sure what the YABU or YANBU options mean.

Personally, I wouldn't want to have a baby at 50. I've got a 2 year old already at 34 (will be 35 later this year) so, when I'm 50, she'll be 17 (going on 18) and I'll be a step closer to FREEDOM!!! I love her to bits...seriously! She'll have enough going on in her life without worrying about a newborn coming into her life as well (esp. if she's still living at home).

You make it sound like 50 is the new 80
I'm 50 no I don't want any more children but I'm not ready for he scrap heap.yet 🙄

By the time they hit the teenage years it’s actually extremely gruelling. They require late night lifts, emotional support, long distance uni runs, plenty of money and all the other challenges that most teens face I don’t know how you even navigate that as a pensioner.

I had my kids aged 32, 35 and 40.
I am now 56 with a 16 year old. I am trying to imagine having a 6 year old.

I could do it. I would have to give up work (not enough energy for everything) but I could do it and be a decent mum.

But I wouldn't. I know I have the fortunate position of having kids, but I do judge those (men and women) who pursue a baby into their 50s. I don't think it is fair on the kids.

Ultimately this is a child's life. And while children are flexible and a lot of love covers over many different life choices, the bottom line is that they will probably lose at least one of their parents when they are not yet adults, and they will be caring for elderly parents.

I am looking at my kids and thinking that I will be an old grandparent and that is sad. For kids born to veyr old parents they won't have the luxury of them as grandparents.

It makes me sad how many decsions like this are based on what the parents want and not on what is best for the child

I'm 50 too and I don't want another baby either my point is I,m not in a position where I have never had children
So cant possibly know how I would feel.if I had never had a child and it was my only opportunity.

Well, that wasn't the question OP asked @x2boys.

I would rather stay childfree personally. And I can know that.

But it’s not about you, that’s the stuff for a therapist surely. It’s about the child. How is going to be for them with an elderly mother and father. What prospects do they have of having support into adulthood and beyond.,

I wouldn't have one at 40, so no.

My dad was 30 when I was born and I lost him when I was 13. Still had both grandfathers when I was married with kids. There are no guarantees in life. My husbands father died while my husband was still a babe in arms.

I think many of us on here are menopausal or peri menopausal

the change in your body and energy levels is quite stark for many women it just suddenly happens and you feel very different that’s why I think so many are answering with an absolute no

I don’t think I’m quite so nurturing either

So true. My tolerance levels hover around -5 these days.

Yes, I am menopausal. I am so done with nurturing! In my head, I am saying quietly " Fuck off Fuck off Fuck off" about ten times a day.

This, 💯

My mum became a grandmother at 50. Hopefully I would like to be a grandmother too before then. So no

Most 50 year olds are in full time work, many will have demanding and full time positions. I think it's very much dependent on the person.
It also depends if you were fortunate enough to have a child when you wanted one.