Would you have a baby at 50?

[pumpkinpatch6]

Off the back of the "Do you regret having a baby at 40" thread, would you have a child at 50 assuming you can provide for it emotionally and financially? Obviously medical assistance would be needed.

It's not the baby at 50 it is the teenager in your 60's and late 60's at that!

Yes I meant grandparent 🥰

ds is only 16 so I am happy to wait a good 10 years but still I know I shall love being a nanny > 👵🏼

First things first, are you a woman, or are you a man?

Woman , hell no

Man, why not, it’s not my body that will be ruined, my energy drained, my sleep disturbed, or my pension pot that will be distorted by possibly extended maternity leave and then reduced working post partum.

Oh me too! Mine are 28 and 29 but showing no sign ☹️

I am so very sorry for your loss. What a terrible tragedy x

My Mum is 52 and I honestly can’t imagine her having a baby at all, just no way. I wouldn’t do it to myself either, I don’t even want more children now and I’m only 30. Too draining physically and emotionally, pregnancy and birth really takes its toll.

Absolutely not!

I wouldnt want to be having a child at 50 but i already have my beautiful DD. Im 35 and my cut off to have a second would be 36/37, but accidents can happen so id keep a baby that was conceived by surprise even though it would be really quite scary.

Another nope here. I am 52 and perimenopausal. Looking back I had so much energy in my 40s. That is just not here now.

And my perimenopausal memory is appalling. I would definitely forget to pick my child up from school or nursery. I don’t think I can be trusted to look after a child at this age!

There's a tinge of judgement and superiority here. As if the people who have children at 50 haven't thought of the child and those that had children earlier are gloating.

Everyone has a unique journey to motherhood that is only understandable to them. It's enough to say you wouldn't choose it for yourself. It's unnecessary to add that those who are doing so are somehow harming the child.

Have you personally spoken to a child who had older parents and been told they thought their parents were selfish to have them?

Hell no. When the child is 40 you'll be 90 if you live that long.

I think most of the women on here saying "Hell no" are women who already have children - so in that circumstance I agree having ANOTHER child at 50 would be a definite No for most.
However if you dont already have children and you are still yearning for one - then Yes if you are otherwise healthy, emotionally and financially stable why not? Yes it will be harder than having a child at a younger age - but isn't that better than not having a child at all??

No. It will probably be an unpopular thing to say but I think it's unfair to the child. My dad was 42 when I was born and I remember him finding it tough.

And you can tell he wishes he was younger now the grandkids are being born. He's very fit and active for 75 but you can tell he can't play with them as much or as easily as he would like. He can only do childcare (which he wants to do) because he does it with my mum who is 10 years younger. And it's unlikely he'll even see them finish school, never mind any other life events.

No…but I’ve got older children, if I was childless and yearned for one then probably yes I would.

I had my youngest at 42, conceived naturally. I decided I didn't want to go down the IVF route so I wouldn't have a baby at 50 if I needed to use that or any other intervention. Very unlikely to fall pg naturally at that age, I don't think I'd continue with it if it happened. I don't feel particularly tired with a toddler in my mid 40s now but it would be more about wanting to be around and active when dcs are young adults.

We weren't asked to answer the question 'if you didn't have children, would you have one at 50'.

It's a difficult question to answer - nobody really knows how they would feel if that's not the situation they find themselves in. I suspect my answer would still be a strong 'hell no' - but I can't be 100% on that.

My dh is 51 no way on earth would he want a kid at this age.

His work colleague has probably put him of that idea anyhow, he’s 56 with dc 8 and 6. He is always off sick from work as he picks up every bug and virus the kids bring home, he is permanently stressed due to money worries and looks like a shadow of his former self (dh has worked with him for 20 years). Think he struggles keep up not only with his dc but his 36 year old wife too!

No obviously not

Congratulations!!! Wow, aren't you lucky?

Now, what about others who haven't been as lucky as you have been?

My response to you is what I say to all the posts where people are giving their ages and those of their children. The way it sounds to me is that y'all are gloating. As if to say, "Look at me, I did it right. Why can't these silly women having children at 50 do as I did? They should be talking about grandchildren, NOT having a child at 50!"

My mother was 35 when she had me in the 1960s. She felt very old because all the other mothers were early twenties. She felt much better though when a 46 year old woman (who had a 26 year old daughter) arrived for delivery. Apparently, the poor woman had thought it was the menopause.

Absolutely not! I think it would be so selfish to have a baby at 50. You're only thinking of you, and not of your child who would be leaving for university with a 70 year old mother who could potentially need caring for.

Not for me. There comes a time when you have to accept the hand you’ve been dealt, and it’s not a bad hand just different. Had I found myself pregnant at 50, I would have been looking after a baby and a parent with dementia at the same time.

Not sure why you commented. I'm glad you are happy .

Well, yes I have spoken to people with older parents. I've also thought about my own experience with my parents. Of course I have. Hence opinions formed. Not necessarily people using the word selfish but I didn't say it was simply 'selfish'. Bit more nuanced than that. Why did you assume I hadn't spoken to people and given it thought? Weird.

Even if I had not had children, I would not have had a child at 50. I have elderly mum to look after, Dh with a health issue, and my own health too. Plus funding uni and housing on a pension would be impossible for me, personally.