Lodgers boyfriend using our address

[cosmobrown]

We have an annex which we rent out.
Our lodger, (lets call her Mary) asked if boyfriend can stay over every so often. We said yes, as long as he didn't add significantly to electric bill or wear and tear etc. All happy.
Mary's post gets delivered through our main door and we pop it into the annex. No problems from anyone.
BUT, for the second time, I have received post for boyfriend. I assume it is the boyfriend, as the initial is correct, but I do not know boyfriends surname.
I feel as though boyfriend shouldn't be using our address.
AIBU?

Yes it does make a difference.

A tenant can have whoever they like to come and stay and use their address.

A lodger has completely different legal rights.

If they are in the same house, then the Op is liable for council tax, if the Bf is living there she needs to declare it, put him on the electoral roll etc.

If it’s a tenancy then these legal responsibilities lie with the householder, who is Mary. And it’s none of the OPs business.

in some parts of the UK the Op would be committing an offence if she lets a property without a Legal lease and registering as a landlord.

@TheresaCrowd

Explained most simply: the main difference between a tenant and a lodger is that a tenant will live in a property you're renting out, but you don't live there too. A lodger is someone who lives in a property that you live in too.

From Google ^^

The ever reliable Google! There is so much utter nonsense on this thread about the difference between a tenant and a lodger including having your own bathroom and kitchen. It's all bullshit.

The hall mark of a tenant is EXCLUSIVE POSSESSION. A lodger does not have exclusive possession. You don't have to live there. Your sister could live in your house gratis with a lodger because the lodger is not having exclusive possession of their part of the property.

All of this depends on the terms of the agreement which we don't know about. Just because @cosmobrown has referred to "an annex" does not mean that Mary has exclusive possession of the annex or any part of it.

Equally if they have 'their own kitchen and bathroom' if the agreement provides for there to be free access for cleaning or any other reason they are not a tenant.

@cosmobrown are you sure the bf isn't living there? I know you say he's definitely not there every night but he could still be living there anyway - say if he does night shift work or if he has to travel alot for his work.

There's a big difference between him telling a mate "oh, just send the tickets to Mary's place" and using it for official purposes.

You need to find out which it is.

I have sent things to my son at his GF's address at his request as there is usually someone in and it has better security for parcels. I don't think her landlord would have a problem with this. Obviously he has his own registered address for voting, GP, Spotify etc

I don't know, but it's time she cancelled the cheque.

Could people stop fucking arguing about lodger/tenant? It's not needed to answer Op's post.

OP, I bet you're regretting asking for advice here! I've bought subscriptions for things as presents for adults and children and I know from experience that it can sometimes be very, very difficult to get the right combination of name and address. I've been in the position of having to repost grandchildren's magazines for a whole year because the company couldn't get their head round not sending it to the person who opened the subscription. This is infuriating and ridiculous, given that subscriptions are often given as gifts. Mary might have given BF a subscription to the SCUBA Diving club for Christmas or BF might have taken one out for Mary. You won't know unless you ask her if she knows the person named on the post. Or it might be something as simple as someone putting the wrong house number on a form. It seems a bit mean to just do "Not known at this address" if it is him and it's the company's fault. Just ask her.

This thread!
OP HAS SAID MARY IS A LODGER!!!

And it's OPs address that is being used without her knowledge or consent FFS.

I'd personally do the "Not known at this address" and put back in postbox thing.

I agree. I think it would be very mean to return to sender. But if you don't want his post delivered to your address ask your lodger to tell him not to do this.

You don't need to justify yourself
I wouldn't like this either. It's just bloody bothersome and more admin...
I still getail from the previous owners Son in law - he have our address when in Italy last summer so we keep getting Italian parking fines to the address 😑😑😑

Hi Mary,

John seems to be using my address for his mail. This is the second time this has happened.
This isn't okay and needs to stop.
Just so you know if I receive any more mail addressed to him it will be returned to sender and if it keeps happening we will have to end our arrangment and you'll need to find somewhere else. I wouldn't like for that to happen as the current arrangement works well but I can't have him using my address.
Thanks

No it isn't.

I think tenant Vs lodger makes a difference. A tenant has more rights to privacy and quiet enjoyment. PPs are suggesting OP return it to sender without mentioning it. I think that would be unacceptable if Mary is a tenant. She'd have the right to whatever comes through her own front door if she had one, as it were. Whether she is having letters addressed to Princess Consuela Bananahammock, Joseph or any other name would be up to her. However if she is a lodger then it might be legal/technically acceptable to just pass her anything with her name on from the family pile of post. All the same it would be a dick move to get rid without even asking her if that is Joseph's surname on the envelope.

OP I think you should discuss it with Mary and make it clear that if the post is for him, that this is not acceptable. There are innocent explanations but it's a risk for someone running up credit etc. Also if the post is not for him, then it's important that you know that. It could be a sign of someone else using your address for scamming. It's not like she has any power in this situation, given all her post has to come through you. But I think you are more sensitive to what her rights might be in this than some PPs.

It won't be irrelevant to the OP if she mistakes a lodger for a tenant and the tenant decides to go to Shelter and assert their tenant rights!

It's a very important part of the thread, perhaps the OP already knows a large amount about lodger vs tenant and has chosen correctly, perhaps not, and whether the address is 'yours' is part of that, no? If you are a tenant, you use that address and could have others use it, like when you rent an entire flat out.

The OP has said quite a few times that Mary is a lodger.
If people don't believe her then that's up to them.
It's not what OP asked about.

This. I wouldn´t be concerned about an amazon (ebay, vinted, etsy...) package every once in a while.

Regular letters would be concerning / general post would seem concerning.

Edit: scuba diving? I would simply ask Mary / your lodger. Maybe they booked it together, it´s a birthday gift from her to him etc. Make sure you have all the facts :)

If it was getting something delivered (eg from Amazon) I would assume it may be a logistical thing - he or his girlfriend would be at yours the day it was delivered. Although, if its actually you that takes the deliveries then you should absolutely tell them to stop!
Anything financial is a bigger issue because then he could rack up debts that are then tied to your address (I don't think you would be liable but still a massive pita)
The scuba diving association thing is just weird. Why would he use your address?
I'd just say you aren't prepared to take mail for someone who doesn't live there and will be returning to sender anything that comes

I used to work in credit checking and this can have massive repercussions if a debt is attributed to him via this address. It can stop you getting credit or certain services unless you jump through hoops to prove he doesn’t live here,which is very difficult to do unless you can prove he was elsewhere eg electoral register.As he’s getting mail sent to your address, I’m guessing that he’s not going to be forthcoming in giving you his real address. The question is why.
it could be he’s escaping debt or he’s trying to get credit and has a poor credit rating.
Its possible your lodger and boyfriend are looking to set up home together and as he has a poor credit rating where he is,needs a good one to get a mortgage or tenancy. He will need to show residency for a length of time at an address with a good credit rating, thus he might be getting bills for something he is paying fully,sent here.
Its many years since I was involved in credit checking,or applied for anything, but I’m pretty sure a mortgage provider would want more proof of residency than a subscription alone. As he’s not on the tenancy or paying gas , electric etc here,you should check that he hasn’t inserted himself on the electoral register.
Debts have a way of following you and it just takes one person good at their job,to link his debts at an old address to elsewhere and for a whole mess of problems to occur for innocent folk.
Sorry if this has caused you stress,it may be as simple as her being about to move out with him or they’re going to ask for him to move in and he’s getting mail sent to you in the meantime.You really need to ask your lodger.

.

An abusive ex did this to me, so to those saying it can’t happen, I assure you it can. He told his bank he lived at my address. And then used a bank statement to hire a car, and ran up pcns and didn’t pay them and the council threatened debt collection. He never lived at my address. He’d simply stayed over. I was able to explain to the council and the bank but it was stressful and triggering getting Bayliff letters to my abuser at my address after he’d (thankfully) disappeared.

Has the OP even established the mail is for the BF yet?

I mean, all OP is going on is a matching first initial. It could easily not be for him at all.

So much drama over such a small thing.

@Feraldogmum - I thought, having had this with tenants before in rented houses, that all debt is associated with the person. An address is merely a point of data to confirm who the person is, and in no way can be related to another person at the address UNLESS there is a formal 'financial relationship' such as joint bank account or loan?

A swift google confirms this - and suggests address based scoring is a myth.

Please can you confirm why you think the address can affect you?

Please can you confirm why you think the address can affect you?

I don't know what's going on round here but there is so much blinkered stupidity. It's like on another thread about an abusive husband people were asking why the OP wanted to get her and her children's passports out of the house. Posters are like ' oh there is only one reason I can think of that someone might want a passport to go on holiday and she can't take the children anyway'. Same here oh the debt attaches to the person so that's alright then.

Well why do you think someone who doesn't live at the property using your address could affect you? Shall we have a little sit down and think about it or would you like a picture book?

-OP has zero idea who this person is or what the correspondence is. It is a basic lack of control of your own home. He could be in the process of registering a company to her home or trying to pretend he lives there to get a loan. It is normal to not want strangers using your home address.
-There could be illegal activity like use of her address for a brushing scam.
-Debts can result in County Court debts registered to the property and the attendance of bailiffs. It's all very well for you to say the debt attaches to the person but do you want to be dealing with aggressive bailiffs trying to enforce a debt by distraint at your front door.
-Junk & scam mail - if its not his true address, he doesn't live there and he's using it temporarily (we have no idea how stable he views the relationship it could be a passing fling to him), he probably will be less careful with it and the OPs address will start to receive unsolicited letters like fake lotteries,prize draws, get-rich-quick schemes and investment scams. It is very difficult to clean this up properly once it starts if the name and address has got on to scammers lists.
-Just the general hassle that will attach to dealing with misuse of the address - say he's ordering goods and not paying. there will be lots of chasing mail seeking payment then threatening legal proceedings. The OP will have to returning to sender lots of mail
-Illegal downloading - if he is using the address to illegally download music or films, the way companies enforce this is by getting the computer IP address information from the broadband company and the address of where it is taking place and try to enforce against the owner.

and any way she does not need to "confirm why she thinks the address can affect her" because it is her property. She has a perfect right to prevent a stranger to her and someone not living there from using her address for no reason at all. That's the whole point of ownership of anything. It's yours to do with as you see fit and exclude others from using it.

Tenant/lodger/smodger is not to do with the question in the post.

OP; talk to Mary. Ask her if she knows the person on the letter. If it’s the BF, then right Mary, I will pass this over this once but any further post will be sent back return to sender. Please tell your BF that he does not live here and cannot have his post sent here. If it carries on then we will need to rethink your living arrangements.

There once was a woman called Mary
Whose tenancy status was hairy
Many posters did flex
Their definitions of 'annexe'
But it's irrelevant so OP won't care-y

Care-y😂

Tons of good reasons why you don't want a complete stranger falsely using your address as their own.

Ask Mary if it's BF's post. Tell her it has to stop now. Send back everything with 'not known at this address' and keep an eye on your credit file to ensure he is not setting up anything financial.

It's totally unnecessary CF behaviour.