Lodgers boyfriend using our address

[cosmobrown]

We have an annex which we rent out.
Our lodger, (lets call her Mary) asked if boyfriend can stay over every so often. We said yes, as long as he didn't add significantly to electric bill or wear and tear etc. All happy.
Mary's post gets delivered through our main door and we pop it into the annex. No problems from anyone.
BUT, for the second time, I have received post for boyfriend. I assume it is the boyfriend, as the initial is correct, but I do not know boyfriends surname.
I feel as though boyfriend shouldn't be using our address.
AIBU?

But just to add to my last post, it doesn't matter whether she's a tenant or a lodger.

Her boyfriend isn't on the agreement and doesn't pay rent because he doesn't live there.

Therefore he has no right to use it as a mailing address.

She will have credit checked and referenced her lodger but knows sweet FA about him and whether he will affect her credit ratings.

Its only a storm in a teacup until he gets caught with drugs and its your house being searched - for one example of many.

Need to get to the bottom of it and make clear if its an unacceptable risk to you.

Indeed.

He could be a registered sex offender attempting to circumvent address/ registration requirements too.

I would not pass it on and I would speak sternly to Mary and say that it's not on for her boyfriend to give out your address for anything to be mailed to him and you will be returning to sender as 'not known at this address'.

It's a piss take and you are right to want to stop it.

@KissMyArt MARY IS A LODGER NOT A TENANT.
Why are you so hell bent on deciding Mary is a tenant when you do not know the set up of my house? I do not need to explain the set up of my house on MN.

Op is only assuming this letter is for the boyfriend on the basis of the first initial.

It might not even be for him. Talk to Mary, find out who it is for and if it is the boyfriend, then ask why it's been sent to op address. Then, ask that it doesn't happen again.

No further fuss required.

Explained most simply: the main difference between a tenant and a lodger is that a tenant will live in a property you're renting out, but you don't live there too. A lodger is someone who lives in a property that you live in too.

From Google ^^

This

Simple

Ask and you will find out

As Mary's post is coming through the OP's door, she obviously doesn't have her own front door so she's a lodger

She may well have her own door, but postmen probably wouldn't think to deliver to anywhere other than the main door.

What if he has a debt and it ends up being connected to her address.
Return to sender
Not at this address

My aunt lives in an annex and her front door is in the garden, so the postman can't access it.

Send it back. I work at a place where there is onsite staff. A bank/credit card statement turned up with a name I didn’t recognise, it was one of the staffs gf who hadn’t even lived there. I sent it back and the staff member was told in no certain terms that the gf cannot set up anything to do with the company.

Not all annexes are the same.

Some have their own front doors that can be accessed by visitors and delivery services, some can't.

Also as councils like their council tax, it clearly isn't a separate dwelling in this case.

Honestly don’t get why it’s a big deal, but I seem to be in the minority.

Debts cannot be connected to addresses only people and it’s been this way for decades. So many out of date experts 🙄

The OP said Mary lives in the annex. An annex is/can be a separate building to the house, but is built on the same plot of land and uses the same address. It cannot be sold as a separate dwelling and is part of the same property as the main house. Therefore, Mary is a lodger, not a tenant, as the OP also lives at that address. It makes no difference if the annex is attached to the house or is a separate building.
My family have this exact arrangement, but I am Mary! Me and my family are lodgers in my parent’s annex (a separate 3bed detached property on the same land as their 4 bed detached, using the same address). We are not tenants.

I would write Return To Sender, Not at This Address" and post it

Because having randoms shown as being at that address could affect her credit rating?

In all honesty, , if it looked official (ie not a Christmas card or letter from a friend etc) I'd open it, check what it was and call the company to cease using my address ... goodness knows what he's doing otherwise

The very fact he has started using your address without permission is CF behaviour and very rude, it also highlights to me an intention to move in, he is getting his feet under the table so to speak.

I would send the letter back and have a conversation with the lodger. I would also limit the bf visits to three maximum , this has moving in by stealth written all over it, and confirm with her he will never be welcome to move in.

I’d just ask Mary if she knows who the addressee is, and then ask that he doesn’t use the address - assuming that the addressee is actually the BF.

Yeah, but, right, the main thing is, is she a lodger or a tenant???

For the love of God just ask Mary and then let us know

My money is on something very unsuspicious but MNers do love to create a drama.

I reckon Mary has paid for something for Joseph or John or whatever his name is, hence it being his name but her address (the billing address). Maybe he has always wanted to go scuba diving and she's paid for a year's membership but wants it to come to her so she can give it to him for his birthday (or something equally as unexciting).