Name changed for this as I don't want it linked to previous posts.
I've spent a wonderful afternoon visiting with my aunt who I treat as my honorary Mom. She fulfilled the nurturing element of my childhood and continues to fulfill that role into my adult life.
I always had a difficult relationship with my Mother, she is hyper critical of me; I'm never quite good enough, thin enough, responsible enough. I hold a very senior position in a professional, registered role, I'm married, have a child and we're mortgage free. I have a normal BMI but I'm very strict with my diet.
I dislike my Mother and have little respect for her, she is self-absorbed and has tantrums if she doesn't get her own way. Growing up we always pandered to her moods with our Father frequently telling us, "don't upset your mother". I lived in fear of her moods, outbursts and silent treatment.
There's a societal tendency to idealise the mother-daughter relationship, and those facing difficulties in this dynamic may feel societal judgment. It's crucial for society to acknowledge the complexity of such relationships and provide support rather than judgment for those navigating challenging familial dynamics. Comments such as "you can't dislike your mother" and "you only have one Mom, you'll miss her when she's gone" perpetuate the belief of the idealised relationship and essentially gaslight the child.
It would be interesting to hear from those in a similar situation and how you navigate the above responses.