Asking 30pp for friends 30th birthday

[seeitthroughmyeyes]

It's our friends 30th in June and we've found out the family have rented a house out to host up to 100 people. We've all been asked to pay 30pp for drinks, food etc. we've already spent a fortune for the couples wedding, previous parties etc last year and although the money isn't an issue, I just feel it's a bit steep to ask for 30pp towards all the food and alcohol, considering it's also a 45 minute drive away so we will have to fork out for taxis too.

That’s what I was wondering 🫣

I always wonder about the state of others friendships when I see posts like this.

A lot of people seem to be friends with people they don't really think much of

I wondered the same

It's true that you'd spend £30 on a meal out, but are they doing an actual meal or just nibbles? Personally I'd wonder if the hoped for £3k is intended to cover the rent with the "catering" done on the cheap, but of course you know them and we don't

My first thought was this is a bit cheeky.

Parties are generally free to attend. I would expect to pay if say going out for a meal and a more relaxed ‘shall we have dinner for my birthday’ kind of thing.

But, on the other hand. Anytime someone has rented somewhere for an actual party, I may not have paid to attend. But I would spend more than £30 at the bar on drinks. Plus more on taxis.

Shared taxis or minibuses are a cheaper way of travelling.

The only thing that would bother me is if, whoever, is arranging it is staying and having some guests stay in the house. And the £30 was also so they didn’t have to pay to stay over. Because that feels like some people were charging for their own night away.

Does the £30 pp cover all food and alcohol? If so I actually think that's good-I could easily drink £30 worth of booze without even considering the food 🤣

That was my first thought. 100 people will be dropping food and spilling drinks. I wouldn't be to relax if I had rented the house.

£105 for a night out sounds ok to me, I wouldn’t buy a present or take a bottle.

@CousinGreg55 but surely a house that holds 100 people is going to be used for parties a lot?

This really. Most places you’d be at a pub or somewhere you’d buy your own drinks at least. If this covers lots of food and drink in a nice private spot I don’t think it’s too bad. And if you don’t want to go, just say so.

I think they are CFs. They want to invite you to their party but you have to pay for the food and drink ! They obviously can't afford the party so instead of thinking they are superstars on champagne money they need to realise they are ordinary folk on beer money.

£100 for a night out for two, dinner drinks and taxi is very reasonable.

Go. Go and enjoy the party. Take it from me, the older you get, the less parties you go to.

If it includes all food and drink then £105 for a night out is cheap, where I live (South, not London) we would struggle to have even a cheap meal out/drinks for that.

It depends entirely one what food/drink they lay on.
You would easily spend that much in a restaurant, so if you get a nice meal and plenty of drinks (plus a choice of drinks) then it’s no different from going out to a restaurant to celebrate a friend’s birthday.
However, if you get some crisps/dips, a sandwich, a slice of Iceland cheesecake, and a couple of glasses of cheek wine, then they’re taking the piss.

For £30pp I want to choose from a menu not risk a buffet of nasty food I might not want to eat . Would be interested to know if they get enought people going or they have to cancel. I usually struggle to get my friends to even bring a cheap bottle.

If it was a good friend and likely to be a good party then I'd just fork it out

I agree. I find it so bizarre asking people to pay for your party. I wouldn't go to be honest.

It's fine to pay and attend but just for the record that's not "hosting" that's organising.

I think it also depends on the food & drink on offer as to whether it's a particularly a good deal or not.

Yes I could easily spend £30 on just drinks on a night out.

Not so much if I'm just pouring myself some wine at home.

As ppl said if you were going out for dinner for a birthday, you are likely to spend more than £30pp no? So, this is just organised differently

£30 per person doesn't sound like much for a night drinking tbh. Easy to spend much more than that without food. Seems fine.

I feel for the owners of the house. Is it Air BnB or similar?

That sounds like a cheap night out and really fun

I agree, it’s odd to host a party and ask guests to pay. I wouldn’t be offended though. £30pp is probably less than what I would usually spend on a friend’s birthday so for that reason I would probably still go.

Exactly, what else is such a property going to be rented for if not for large gatherings and parties, nun conventions?