Professional photographer at a funeral

[Anonomum14]

I just recently heard that someone hired a professional photographer for their husbands funeral (30yr old - sudden/unexpected) large turnout.
I'm not judging their decision, I have just never ever heard of this. Would you consider this? Is this what people do now? Is it a trend? Personally I don't think I would, just wondering what others think about it.

Not for me but when my Dm died, her sister wanted to live stream the funeral to her brothers in Australia . It was a hard no form me and my siblings.

DM passed last year. The funeral company took pictures and made a video. It was a whole production. They arrived in the morning, filmed family members getting ready and continued throughout the day.

DM had a horse drawn cart and the family’s departure from the house into the funeral cars following the cart was all staged (with the cameramen telling some people to walk back and re-enter the car).

The church service was filmed as well with the cameramen walking between the aisles.

After the burial at the cemetery they asked everyone to stand behind the casket for a photoshoot. There was a sing-off at the graveside with one side of mourners singing and the other side challenged to sing louder🫣

The whole thing was organised by Dsis who wanted mum to ‘go off in style’. She is an actress (as in, that is her profession but she is not famous) and wanted a big show for mum.

The final video had music and special effects added to it. The whole day was surreal.

I went to my friend’s father’s funeral and her brother took a lot of photos of the event, of the mourners, the coffin, the flowers and the general ambience. It was a little odd when he stood next to the coffin, pointing the camera at the mourners in the crematorium and asking them all to smile and ‘say cheese.’ It definitely wasn’t for social media as this chap isn’t on any kind of socials, it was just for his own memory. Fair enough I suppose. He is a bit of a strange chap anyway, so I just thought it was the kind of thing he does.

I've never heard of this. I can't imagine wanting it for a loved one but I think it does make sense depending on the tone of the funeral. I register deaths and believe me, different people and cultures grieve very differently. Recording a celebration of someone's life, attended by people who may never get together again, with speeches from those who loved them most? Not such a terrible idea. Invading people's private moments to snap their tears, and making a photo album of an awkward, sad day? Terrible idea.

There’s an Irish funeral director who seems to specialise in very heavily edited videos of the entire funeral and regularly posts them on their FB page. I’d wouldn’t be something I’d chose for myself but I wouldn’t judge anybody who does. In the UK we have a very strange approach to death and dying. I wonder if forcing people to be more exposed to funerals will break down some of the barriers we have to accepting it more.

It’s been a thing for decades. Not a modern trend. It’s just not very common.

I'd find it a bit odd tbh. What were they photographing? It's a bit intrusive to take pictures of people grieving. If it's a crematorium then you can request a recording of the service if you want to listen to it again afterwards. Can't imagine having pictures of a coffin and/or grieving friends and relatives in the photo album.

@Eastie77Returns how did you feel about that?

I would never consider this. The only filming I would wish for is for the church to livestream the service, for those who could not get there.

We received a dvd of my parents funeral and it was live streamed in lockdown, my other parent watches it frequently and gets comfort from it. 30 years old and left a young widow, there by the grace and all that.

This is quite common in the US. I've seen photos on Facebook of funerals. Some are very beautiful and tasteful and as a PP mentioned, sometimes it's a good time to get family photos.
Some I've seen were a bit uncomfortable E.g. photo of the widow and young children posing, smiling, by dad's coffin.

@Katiepoes That is macabre and quite odd behaviour. I'd be very concerned about her mental wellbeing

That's awful, how disgusting

People are entitled to discuss the concept of this. We do not live in a communist society, we have free will and have a discussion about what each of us thinks is right or wrong

What’s disgusting? Parents wanting to get a nice video of their baby?

@tenbob No the first part. People posing for photographs at the wake. I don't care how long you've not seen someone, it's a sodding funeral. Show some respect

It’s not something I would personally choose but we have to be guided by the needs of those closest to the deceased.

One side of DH’s family always have someone taking some photos at wakes.
They’re a huge family - IL is one of 15 - and funerals are the only occasion they are all together as there’s too many for weddings and parties.

At his Aunt’s funeral his grandmother, who was 99 at the time, had a photo taken with her 11 remaining children. 6 of whom she hadn’t seen since pre covid because they’re abroad.

I think if it happened at a funeral on my side it would seem weird and odd, but because it’s always been done on that side (his Granny has a photo taken at her granny’s wake so it’s a very old habit/tradition on their side) it doesn’t seem it at funerals they have

We, like many(?), have a video of a parent’s funeral who died during covid.

It’s a recording of the funeral that few could attend in person.

Single camera point, no family group shots, no poses.

Not sure if anyone’s watched it since.

But having a photographer well post covid - a bit odd. We won’t be doing it for my Mum when she kicks the bucket!

My grandpa's funeral was filmed, in the 70s. But that was by the flying squad... So for much different reasons. But we do still have it, my Dad asked the police for a copy & they obliged, someone in the family had it put onto dvd.

I worked as a military photographer many years ago and one of the jobs we sometimes had to cover was funerals for service members. It was something that was offered to the family.
I only ever had to cover the one service in my entire time and it consisted of photos of the church, the coffin being carried in, the folk who said a few words about their loved one, some overall shots inside the church, the priest, the gardens outside and the many flowers/tributes that were laid out.
I initially felt out of place and awkward at the start of the service but the family wanted it so I just kept a respectable distance and tried to be discreet.
The idea behind it is that for most of the family, the day of the funeral is a blur and they're numb with grief, so we were able to create an album for them to be able to look back on (whenever they were ready to) so that they could see the flowers and the people there and hopefully that aided them in their journey through bereavement.

My immediate thought on reading the title was - WTF and I don’t normally swear. Just awful if I had seen anyone taking photos at any of my loved ones funerals I would have lost it. It’s such a heartbreaking event, raw grief, and private

I attended a funeral during covid where a video was taken because almost no family could attend due to travel restrictions. It was done very sensitively and discreetly and was very much appreciated by dozens of people who would very much wanted to have been there. What families decide to do in these circumstances is really nobody else's business.

But it's just photos. Of loved ones. I find your attitude beyond odd.

Honestly, I hope my wake is a happy event where the people I love come together and enjoy being with one another. I hope they recognise how special their time here is and take joy from that. If they want a photo to remember it, that's wonderful.

The Victorians saw it as perfectly tasteful to commission photographs of the actual deceased person’s corpse

I think the difference is the victoriana were honouring the dead with their pictures. But footage of the funeral presumably doesn't include photos of the dead person, considering todays sensibilities. So funeral photography today wouldn't really be about the dead person at all. It would be about the grieving person putting themselves at the centre of a kind of "experience"