Professional photographer at a funeral

[Anonomum14]

I just recently heard that someone hired a professional photographer for their husbands funeral (30yr old - sudden/unexpected) large turnout.
I'm not judging their decision, I have just never ever heard of this. Would you consider this? Is this what people do now? Is it a trend? Personally I don't think I would, just wondering what others think about it.

Its quite disgusting really. I don't know does every moment really need to be immortalised these days?

At my family's funerals we've always taken lots of photos. Not so much of the service itself but of the wake, yes. We've never hired a professional photographer though.

A funeral is one of the few events that people come from all over to attend. It’s a chance to get photos with people you wouldn’t normally see, at a time when it’s highlighted to you how short life can be and that you can just be left with a photo.

The funeral can pass in a blur and it can be hard to remember who was there. I doubt the widow will be pouring over them immediately as she probably did with her wedding photos but in time it might give her comfort to see how many people came to pay their respects to her DH. How loved and respected he was and how proud she can be that he was her husband.

The widow organised this, not a well meaning relative or acquaintance, so obviously this is what she wants to get through this period. I think it is distasteful to judge her for doing whatever she needs to at this moment.

For me it would depend what sort of photos and what they were for.

Posed group shots would seem inappropriate.

Capturing the event, the attendees and so on, unobtrusively, would probably be ok.

Weird as it sounds, I sort of wish we did have pictures of my Dad's funeral. I was so preoccupied with giving the eulogy, I can't remember who was there and afterwards was a blur. As I remember my Dad and what a great person he was, the people who made the effort to come, many from far afield, are a part of his story.

I certainly would NOT put them on Facebook.,

I wouldn’t judge someone who was grieving a tremendous loss and this helped them.

My experience with an untimely unexpected death is that it passes in a blur, and that the widow was hugely comforted by the number of people who came. It gave her solace to know people cared enough to come, that he was respected and loved by many people that she wouldn’t have expected to attend.

Perhaps a photographer is there to help those grieving go over the day, see how much their loved one meant to others, to pinpoint something that otherwise would be unimaginable to them give the suddenness, something that they want to understand in the future when they are more capable of processing.

My friend was murdered by her husband, age 25 and they had a photographer there. It was very tasteful and really helped the family to see how loved she was, there were several 100 people there and a lot of press and TV. As it's a younger person who has died perhaps they want to make it a party rather than a sad occasion?we had pool and karaoke at her favourite bar for the wake.

not of the mourners but afterward it was nice to re-see the flowers in photographs, at the time it all passes so quickly. I have noticed that recently the custom of people who attend the funeral being taken on a list does not seem to be done anymore. it used to be one of the funeral firm and after the blur of faces it is nice to sit again later and see who attended

Sorry I still see it as disgusting. Those people are paying respect to someone whom they cared about. That’s a personal moment and they deserve that moment without being featured on a photo without their consent. If I use myself as an example, when my Dad died I was a crying, swollen mess with make up pouring down my face. I put my hand on his coffin and said goodbye to him in my head. If I discovered that someone had taken my photo in that moment I'd be apoplectic

I know people do it for those who can't attend but couldn't they focus on the professionals involved in the service only?

I thought the same, EmmaEmerald - perhaps also the cortege, footage of any family/friend doing the eulogy if they okay with this and maybe even a quick pan across the whole group

But focusing on those having a quiet moment next to the coffin or just standing there thoughtfully? Each to their own and all that, but personally I'd find this very distasteful, especially if the mourner hasn't agreed

My DDad died last year and at his funeral myself, my two teens, my Mum and 2 brothers all got up on stage and gave our eulogies. Mum and Dad had been to the same Pentecostal Church for over 30 years and the church was full, people sining and clapping and the whole atmosphere was so uplifting and moving on such a sad day. We have all thought we wish we had it recorded so we could relive it - sounds utterly bizarre but it was the church was full of such love and emotion I wish I could see it once more.

I’ve spoken at 3 funerals that had a videocast. One was on a private YouTube channel, the other 2 provided by Wesley Media. The Wesley Media ones stay live for a week, but can also be downloaded. With very elderly relatives it enables them to attend virtually with some help from younger family. In all these cases the venues were equipped to record the services inside the chapel. I’ve not come across a photographer in any other sense.

Why the weird faces?!!

I don’t like the thought of that at all.
a I find it bad enough when journalists take photos and put them in the newspaper of celebrities funerals and other high profile deaths.
It feels very distasteful. I don’t understand why someone would want photos of their friends and family upset. I also think it would effect how people were grieving if they felt uncomfortable being photographed. And if the photos aren’t meant to be sad and are group wedding style smiling photos then that is particularly disgusting. I can’t imagine someone wanting to look back on photos of a loved ones funeral, it’s hardly something to show the Grandkids. I have a sinking feeling though if this became a ‘thing’ it would be yet another horrible thing that will end up on their social media pages with the tagline of ‘fly high’ or something else equally meaningless, but attention-seeking.

I don't know.

It has certainly never been for me, and I'd find it intrusive and further distressing were someone to point a camera at me whilst in a grieving, emotional state. My mother's funeral, and that of a close friend's child, were so traumatic to me that they passed in a blur and I barely remember them. Neither are days I would ever want to revisit.

But the last people I ever want to sit in judgement on are those who are grieving. We all have to do this in our own way.

I think it's a horrible idea and as others have said, I would take great exception at someone photographing me at a funeral when I was grieving.

I was really shocked when my Mum and I went to Australia for my brothers funeral 11 years ago to find out afterwards that the whole service had been videoed 😟 I thought it was horribly gruesome. I can't believe that anyone would actually sit down and watch the video of their loved one's funeral. Needless to say my Mum declined the copy of the DVD she was offered.

Not to mention the professional grievers, look how upset I am compared to others. Just no.

I wouldn't, I think it's a bit strange for a funeral!

But it involves the whole congregation, who don’t get a veto…

lI wouldn’t do it myself, but I would never dismiss anyone else’s choices about their next of kin’s funeral as ‘disgusting’ and I certainly wouldn’t think it meant they weren’t taking the funeral seriously. To me, the only ‘distasteful’ thing would be sneering or judging a grieving family for doing a funeral in whatever way that’s best for them.

I also think the culture around funerals varies hugely across different demographics, nationalities and religious denominations, and that what is distasteful to one is perfectly normal to others.

The Victorians saw it as perfectly tasteful to commission photographs of the actual deceased person’s corpse. I’ve seen Victorian death portraits of dead children laid out on a couch with their living siblings standing around them. So this isn’t a new thing.

I would also add that having a photographer doesn’t necessarily mean they’re zooming in on people and taking pictures of them crying and ‘at their most vulnerable’.

I’m in a FB group where the majority of members are in the West Indies and they share funeral photographs.

I think it's disgraceful. Much like people who post pictures on social media of/at funerals. Do they have no respect at all?

And don't get me started on the worst of the worst- people who take pictures holding the hand of the recently deceased and post it online. An instant block from me. I don't go on social media to see dead bodies and find it beyond horrific.

My cousins funeral was streamed during lockdown and I was so glad as we weren't allowed to go. At a friend's funeral they had a camera crew filming for her mum who was too frail to travel.

It was mentioned on a TV programme I watched a few years ago and I was really surprised. It find it distasteful.

Not everything in life needs to be photographed. And it really doesn’t need to be plastered across social media either.

Live streaming a service is different. That just shows the backs of head and any speakers and is helpful if you cannot make it to a service.

All the funerals/cremations that have happen have been live streamed recently. We live far away so have actually been able to attend/ say goodbye/show support where we might not have done. So they've definitely been more accessible.

I went to a funeral in the US which was filmed entirely, including the open casket. I was horrified. Apparently in that particular culture it has become the norm. The deceased's child was still young so perhaps recorded for that purpose but I wouldn't have done so. I guess you don't have to look at it ever again but it's there should the child want to see.

I guess we all deal with things differently. Each to their own.