What does your daily routine look like if you have young kids and work

[doorhinges]

I'm having a bit of a rough start to January and feeling burnt out and low.

I ask myself, is it me ? Am I just not cut out for this motherhood thing ? Or just generally the mundaneness of life ?

Here is an example of my routine, how does it compare to yours and can you suggest improvements :

• get up around 6:30, get ready quickly
• get kids up and ready for school
• 7:45leave the house, drop kids at nursery
• 9 am back home to start work
• 5 pm leave to pick up kids
• 6pm get home
• 6:30 pm dinner
• 7pm bath bed story etc
• 8-8:30 pm kids asleep

Usually I fall asleep at around 9 or so, rinse repeat.

My kids are 3 and 1.

Dad leaves before they get up in the morning and gets back after bed time. I work exclusively from home, full time.

Is there anything that would make my routine better? I sometimes go to the gym and work from there/ work out and that kind of thing. Obviously I haven't put in the details of my working day. During the day I have breaks and cook dinner and that kind of stuff.

It's a bit dull, isn't it? I just feel so deflated every day at the moment.

Seems like my day tbf!! Children just turned 5 and nearly 3. Split up with my husband last year so trying to rock the single mum life!!

5.30 am up and shower before the kids up
6am kids up
7.30 nursery and school drop off and straight to work
5pm finish work and pick the kids up
7-8pm both kids bathed and in bed
8-10pm tea, iron clothes for tomorrow, clean the house ...

I am very tired all the time though. I do find getting up earlier than the kids and getting ready makes my mornings soo much better and calmer. I also find a tidy/clean house clears my mind (random I know!)... And a glass of wine on a Friday!

There is something that would make your routine better yes and that would be Dad (assume of your kids, not your own dad) doing dropoff and pickup Wednesdays (at least) so you only have to do this exhausting regime two days in a row - can he absolutely not wfh at all?
Otherwise it will get better, those are very punishing ages for two FT working parents and you are doing all the parenting in the week.
Can you move their bedtime earlier to get a bit more time for yourself?

Also it’s definitely not you. You’re doing an amazing job dealing with all that.

In part it’s life with young children but is there no way your husband can do more? Are you sure he needs to leave before work and arrive home so late, or is he avoiding childcare? I think he needs to pull his weight on a weekend and give you a break at least? Working is easier then looking after small children

That looks about right, it was easier for us as four days a week DH could do mornings so we could tag team getting up and breakfast. Our childminder fed DC supper so that made things less manic.

BUT it gets easier, mine are now 11 and 7 and they can (with a bit of chivying for DS2 get themselves up and dressed, do showers and getting ready for bed etc). So hang in there!

It's a slog isn't it!

Anytime between 5.30 - 6.30 kids up
7am husband leaves
8am I drop kids at nursery
Work til 4.30 and pick up kids
Husband home at 5
Tea, play, tidy
7-7.30 bedtime
After bed quick clean, sort bags, walk the dogs and lunches for tomorrow
Collapse on the sofa for a bit
Early bed and repeat

I'm desperate trying to get to the gym or fit in any time to myself but it's just so hard.

Mine are 2 and 1.

I keep seeing the 5am club on Insta...my kids get up at 5.30 and at least one wakes in the night. I feel like I'm in a constant state of sleep deprivation torture there ain't no way I'm trying to get up and hour before the kids 🤣

Very similar here. I have a rule that dishwasher is sorted and a wash gets out on before I start work in the morning which helps keep the house under control.

I recommend audiobooks for the return from the school run and any free time during the day even if it's just 4 mins to trick you into thinking you get to pursue your own interests

Yeah no way I can get up any earlier.

Mine also wake in the night, especially the little one. I need all the sleep I can get. Not sure how people do it. I'm so sleep deprived.

I get so bored on the nursery run, it's so long ! I need to get some audio books.

Surely your partner should be doing the wakeups at least?! That must be the only time he is going to be home to see them in the week anyway!

Looks very similar to my days, except my partner does two of the school runs. I use that time to either work at home or commute into London. Oh and our school run is much shorter, I can be there and back in 20 minutes.

I go to bed around 11pm, sometimes later, so I get some time to myself. I go a bit mental without that. I am tired all the time though and actually really need to get some early nights as I look and feel like shite.

He doesn't. And at weekends I still get up with them. It's annoying. I'm going to try to have a bit of a lie in this weekend.

Why does it take from 7.45 - 9.00 to drop off at nursery and get back. Seems a long time.

Oh god, you're all much more organised than me! Single parent and mine is:

8am wake up and wake up kids (4, 8&9)
8:20 leave for school/work (all eat breakfast in car, I do my hair and makeup in car)
Work 9am-5pm
Pick kids up from afterschool club 6pm
Make dinner/vague attempt at tidying/laundry
Dinner 7pm.
7-9pm kids destroying any attempt I made to tidy, whilst im glued to my phone 😂
9pm - kids in bed
9pm-2am - also glued to my phone and not remotely tired
2am/3am - go to sleep. Wake up exhausted. Do nothing to address exhaustion or disorganisation and repeat daily 😂😂😂😂

That looks like the slightly more brutal side of normal.

Is nursery very far away if it takes an hour to get there and back? Can you move to one closer?

What type of meals are you cooking and can you simplify this? Batch cooking at weekends, slow cooker, beans on toast, baked potatoes, pasta pesto type meals a couple of times a week.

Do you have a cleaner?

What do your weekends look like? Do you get equal time to exercise/do your own thing?

Why is DH out of the house so much that he can’t seem to practically help at all in the week?

Mine is similar to yours in the morning, but I start work earlier. In the afternoons, my husband does the nursery pick ups as he finishes before I do. He also makes dinner and does bedtimes while I work my second job, study or do some tidying/cleaning.
I think its reasonable you're finding it tough, you don't really get any time 'off' during the week. Are your weekends better?

@doorhinges why is your nursery run so long?! Is there no closer nursery?

Nah, that's not cool. We have one lie-in and morning 'off' each, unless we have plans to do something specific.

Morning traffic to my DD's school nursery.

Well there's a fix right there. Get up and go out one weekend morning - take yourself out to the gym/pool/run/whatever and let him get on with it. Don't ask, just do.

At their ages I would be getting the kids into bed by 7.30 at the latest , this giving yourself an hour for something ( anything) for yourself. 8.30 is far too late for them imo.

There are closed ones but my DD is so happy there and she'll go to school there too. It's not that far it's just traffic and congestion to get in and out of the school. There's also nowhere to park up nearby at all. It's a nightmare.

Find a closer nursery. I recommend one in walking distance! Ours take 10mins with my 3yo on the scooter.

Dad leaves before they get up in the morning and gets back after bed time. well he needs to stop doing that!