What does your daily routine look like if you have young kids and work

[doorhinges]

I'm having a bit of a rough start to January and feeling burnt out and low.

I ask myself, is it me ? Am I just not cut out for this motherhood thing ? Or just generally the mundaneness of life ?

Here is an example of my routine, how does it compare to yours and can you suggest improvements :

• get up around 6:30, get ready quickly
• get kids up and ready for school
• 7:45leave the house, drop kids at nursery
• 9 am back home to start work
• 5 pm leave to pick up kids
• 6pm get home
• 6:30 pm dinner
• 7pm bath bed story etc
• 8-8:30 pm kids asleep

Usually I fall asleep at around 9 or so, rinse repeat.

My kids are 3 and 1.

Dad leaves before they get up in the morning and gets back after bed time. I work exclusively from home, full time.

Is there anything that would make my routine better? I sometimes go to the gym and work from there/ work out and that kind of thing. Obviously I haven't put in the details of my working day. During the day I have breaks and cook dinner and that kind of stuff.

It's a bit dull, isn't it? I just feel so deflated every day at the moment.

Two kids, 10 and 7. I work 4 days 7-4:30.

6:15 up and shower
6:45 head to work - dh gets them to school as he starts a 9am
4:45 rush from office to school for club pick up at 5pm

Quick turnaround 3 nights a week for football / swimming. Other two nights we have time to eat something borderline decent and stick a wash on. I might do a workout.

Written down it seems ok but my office hours a long and it's really relentlessly busy. I often don't take a break at all for 9.5 hours as I don't have the option of working late...

On my day off I walk leisurely to school which I love, as we can chat. Then food shop, errands, house stuff and the pick up at 3:30

Sounds like we're all in the same boat 😩

I can see why you feel a bit deflated. Sometimes we go through phases where I feel like that too. I get that you don't want to move nurseries as he's happy there and it's the school he'll go to.

In all honesty the issue here is that you are doing everything by yourself. Does DH need to do his job like he does? Could he do his hours later to get the kids ready in the morning, or earlier to do pick up? If he does, could he move jobs in the longer term? In the short‐term or if none of those are options, the absolute minimum is that he gets up with the kids at the weekend so that you can sleep (how much sleep does he get in comparison to you?) and gives you a couple of hours to yourself each weekend day by taking them out.

Wow your commute to the nursery sounds brutal! I also think that's a late bedtime for a 1 and 3 year old and leaves you with no evening to yourself. Your husband should be pulling his weight more, you're going to burn out.

We have a good routine but that's down to my work and that my husband works from home. We both work freelance. I pick and choose my hours as I please.

3 days a week 2 year old is in nursery. If I have an early booking, husband drops him off and comes home to start work. The nursery is a ten minute walk. I love walking him in the morning. Similarly, if I have a late booking my husband picks him up and stops work until I'm back to take over. He will pick up work again and might work into the evening to catch up a little. I try to keep my work within nursery times where I can and I walk him in the morning and pick up in the afternoon at 3 o'clock.

Mornings are 7 o'clock one of us gets up with toddler and the other has a lie in if they want or gets up to shower and breakfast together. 7-8:30 is breakfast and pottering about the house. Son plays with his toys etc. Get ready and walk to nursery at about 8:30

Husband works in the home office and I go to whichever bookings I have or I do things at home or go for a swim.

Non nursery days and weekends we take our time getting up and head out for the morning about half 9 or ten. Home for lunch and nap about 1 o'clock. Potter at home usually for the rest of the afternoon.

Bedtime is 7/7:30, and as early as 6 on nursery days as he's wiped out. I like as much of the evenings to myself as I can get.

We also don't do a bath every day. We used to but since starting nursery he's just too tired. Wash down with a flannel is enough and gets him in bed quicker.

Agree with @Switcher. Try working full time with a commute! I guess the nursery run is similar for you. Difference here was that DH did all the pickups then as he started earlier and finished later.

But what I meant to say was it won't be like that forever. Over the last couple of years I have taken up several new hobbies and am really absorbed by them. Have yet to have a proper lie-in due to getting a dog, but never mind!

5.15 DS gets up with DH
6am I get up and get myself ready then wake DD
6.30am DH goes to work
7.15 drop DD at childminder then come home with DS
8am I work for 30 mins whilst also getting DS ready for school
8.30am take DS to school
9am back home wotking
3pm fetch DS from school
3.30pm continue working whilst DS relaxes after school
4pm DH gets home then goes to pick DD up from childminder
5pm I finish work and we all have tea and play
7pm upstairs for bath and kids bed at 7.30pm
i stay upstairs and go to bed not long after.
DD wakes 3-5 times during the night

I agree with others that you have a DH problem. Apart from the cash he earns, you sound like a single parent. He needs a wake-up call. There are MANY men who are NOT REALLY needed to be in before the kids wake and home late. Quite simply, they stay at work as it makes their life easier!

The other thing I would say is that you need some time each day devoted to yourself. One thing that brings you joy. For me, it is gym class, writing, reading.

You sounds like a great mother by the way! Your husband, not as great.

Two parent, one child household. DC age 6.
7-7.30am coffee in bed.
7.30-8.30 get dressed, breakfast.
8.30 one of us takes DC to school then arrives at work for 9. The other one of us goes direct to work.
School pick up 3.15 - we take it in turns to do this. If it's not my pick up day I'm home from work at 4.30-5ish.
Evening meal 6.30, bath approx 7, bed time approx 7.30.
What helps? V short trip to school, it takes 10 min to get there. Plus, me and DC alternate pick up and drop off. If I have a busy day at work, I just head off early at 7.30ish and leave them to it. DH gets DC in.

• find a closer nursery, can they not have breakfast at nursery too? Honestly, or find a closer primary school when the time comes that commute for them is crazy

Mine isn't like this. But you have to be fortunate enough to have a flexible job, earn well enough that you don't need to work full time, and above all have a husband or partner who isn't an selfish arsehole!

6am - both wake up 30 minute work out
6:30 - make lunch
6:50 - wake DS with breakfast in bed
7-7:45 jump in the shower and get ready whilst prompting DS to get ready
7:45 leave house drop DS at breakfast club and get to work for 8:30
Work 8:30-17:00 possibly use dinner hour to walk into town if we need anything
17-17:45 drive home and chill (enjoy driving)
18:00-19:00- one of us prepares tea whilst other one does home work/talks to DS etc then eat tea
19:00-20:00 - family chill time
20-21:00 - currently used for work out time for me and DH does bath time + pulls clothes for DS for the next day.
21:00 - 23:00 - sofa/chill time with DH

Rinse and repeat

We find it works as we use a few hours on a weekend to do ironing and any jobs round the house. Also have a cleaner so only daily tidying to do. DS has after school activities on a Wednesday so tea is 7ish and on a Sunday morning.

@ShoePalaver I've got 5 children in the house. 1 is a 2 year old who is potty training. 1 is 4 and comes home filthy. I have 3 teens who have after school sports etc and me and DP.
If the cleaning isn't done we'd end up living in a pig sty and I also can't relax in a messy house. I have the routine to help manage my anxiety, if that makes sense. Also doesn't leave too much to do on the weekend.