Not looking forward to wedding as I’ll spend most of it alone

[JaspnFelix]

My BIL is getting married at the end of may. DH is his best man, both our sons are Page Boys. The couple have hired two wedding Nannies to help with the children, the only children invited are those of the wedding party or immediate family (so the brides niece, our children and DHs cousins kids, one of the other groomsmen’s child etc.)
These Nannies will apparently be helping with getting kids in the wedding party down the aisle etc.
For the wedding meal, DH is at the top table in the capacity of best man, along with his parents, the brides parents and her maid of honour. The other 4 groomsmen (including DHs cousin) will be at a table just for the groomsmen and their plus ones, the bridesmaids have a similar set up. They have a kids table at the back where they will be with the Nannies.
Im with DHs extended paternal family, so his two cousins, their partners, his aunt and uncle and his grandma, I barely know any of them, can probably count on one hand how many times I’ve met them.
I know his maternal family better but their table is full apparently.
AIBU to be really not looking forward to the wedding and to be even considering just not going as I’ll be spending the day with people I hardly know?

That’s not the case in all families. I wouldn’t consider an equivalent event in my family to be a big deal at all.

Only on Mumsnet!

What’s that supposed to mean? Its the truth.

Actually, it does seem quite rude that they’ve made provision for everyone else to be with a partner, but not you. It looks like they want you to look after your husband’s grandmother, perhaps.

What does your husband say about it? Can he make sure he pops over from time to time during the meal to make sure you are not too bored?

Fortunately, for pre dinner drinks, and after dinner you will be able to mingle with people you know better, so it’s really just for the dinner, and the speeches.

I can see why you are upset, but really, you just need to make the best of it.

I'd certainly care if my sister was getting married, I was bridesmaid and my husband then announced he wouldn't be attending because he didn't want to inconvenience himself by sitting with some people he didn't know particularly well for an hour or two.

I'd wonder what kind of self-centred lump I was married to.

The BIL’s wedding is a really big deal for him. And the husband’s parents. And probably for the husband because he’s best man and his brother is getting married. It may even be really exciting for the kids.

doesn’t mean that the OP will be excited about it. Or that anyone (except maybe her husband and children) really care if she attends. Absolutely no one is wondering where the best man’s wife is at a wedding.

I think that going is a good idea, with the plan of being back up to sort any issues with the kids, making sure they’re not disruptive and even taking them home early if necessary. That way her DH and his family can relax and enjoy the family wedding.

Even if the bride and groom think they have a brilliant nanny plan, I’d want to be there with the understanding that my main role is ensuring it goes as smoothly as it can.

Maybe not the most fun day. And if the kids are loving the nanny plan, it’s be more relaxing than I’d prepared for. It’s only one day.

Might be a nice chance to get to know some of the extended family a bit better.

I would be fine with this set up and take it as an opportunity to get to know the others in dh family.

There will be people there helping with the kids and normally the parents are fractious and not relaxed but they've thought of that which is a double bonus

Yanbu I’d hate this, have done it before and hated the whole day, I’m not interested in meeting peoples cousins tbh

We are grown ups. Surely we expect to do things because they are important to other people , and we get in with it. Just as we expect kids to sometimes sit quietly when it matters, etc.

We don’t have to enjoy everything we do. But sometimes things turn out to be enjoyable when we didn’t expect it. If we are open minded.

The OP hasn’t been back since they started the thread two days ago …

🤷🏽‍♀️

Urgh, I personally would not want to go under these circs. Could your DH not ask not to sat on the top table and just move there for his speech. I disagree with what others have said - will be uncomfortable for you, and not fair to sit you with people you barely know

Third world problem 😂😂😂

My god life is pretty sad if you can't make the effort/push yourself for a few hours?!

Kindly, grow up. You'll know lots of people there and while you are sat you can talk to the people around you. It will be good for you to put yourself out of your comfort zone. I understand why you are anxious about it, but just push through it. I had to do this last year, went by myself to a wedding where I only knew the Bride and had met her family once.

Exactly

Come on.
It's hardly the end of the world.

Why not? They may be extremely btw restricted by and nice?

It wouldn't bother me at all now as with great age has come the ability to talk to absolutely anyone about absolutely anything and not give a fuck.
In my twenties I would probably have been very uncomfortable.

Yabu

DH has been best man 5 times,one of the times I was pregnant so couldn't even drink, that was a long day on my own, I knew no one, I am quite sociable but I even struggled that day.

I would never leave a partner/wife of best man alone, I have been married twice and the best men's partners was on top table with their OH. I knew how I felt.

Unfortunately you just have to suck it up but I understand why it's not ideal.

I do agree, all the times I had to sit alone t weddings I was a lot younger, now in my 40s I think it wouldn't worry me at all.

This.

Exert yourself.

Oh for goodness sake, just get on with it. It's your husband's brother's wedding ... it's not all about you!

Definitely don't, unless you want to look like the family weirdo.