To think there's nothing wrong with early mat leave?

[bluesign]

I'm starting mine at 34 weeks. Well technically I'll be using up annual leave before it officially starts at 37 weeks but have had a few raised eyebrows from colleagues saying it's early! It's not really though is it?

It seems the expectation amongst people at my company is to work as long as possible before the baby is due. I understand some people prefer to do this, but I can think of nothing worse than working up to 38-39 weeks. Why should I struggle through the last few weeks if I don't have to?

I can think of nothing better than doing absolutely as little as possible before baby comes.

34 weeks isn't early is it?

After 38 weeks I was so uncomfortable that I could hardly move. I wouldn't have been able to commute or work.

I started my leave at 37 weeks so had a nice week pottering around.

I wouldn't say you are starting your maternity leave very early. Perhaps just a bit earlier than average. Your choices are entirely up to you so other people’s reactions aren't important.

You do what's best for you. I had such severe pregnancy sickness that after weeks of being signed off by doctors I ended up handing in my resignation at work at 24 weeks.

My first wasn't as early as yours and my second was later but it was similar for me. I took 3 weeks AL from 37 weeks and DC1 was born the day after my maternity leave started at 40 weeks. Whereas DC2 I had less holiday left, so I took 2 weeks AL from 36 weeks then my mat leave started at 30 weeks and DC2 was born 10 days late. I'd been off work for about 6 weeks before he came! But I'm glad because I had DC1 to look after so I actually only got two days a week to myself when they were at nursery and really felt I needed that time.

I think it's your leave so it's up to you to decide how you take it. I had a very difficult pregnancy so I started mat leave 2 weeks before I was due and used a week of a/l before that. My work made adjustments for me in the run up to taking that time off such as letting me work from home and reduce my driving due to the pain it caused.

It's not about being unreasonable taking it, it's up to you how you plan out your mat leave. What I would say is that I found returning hard, I didn't want to leave my baby and I needed to use accrued leave to give me flexible working on full time pay for a number of months so I could do nursery pick ups and drop offs some days. So in that respect, I would choose to work up as close as you can because you give yourself more flexibility on the other end to have longer with baby/ work part time/ extend your mat leave etc. Obviously everyone hopes things go smoothly but I had bad ppa and was in a total fog in my head for 9 months. I know others who have had ppd and needed as much time off on the other end as possible to recover. It's not just about having time for baby, it's also about giving yourself the maximum time to recover before you take on more again and noone knows how their body will respond.

Not everyone feels like that though. With my eldest it was 16 weeks maternity leave. I worked to 38 weeks using a fortnight's holiday so theoretically should've gone back when she was 16 weeks old. By the time she was 9 or 10 weeks I was climbing the walls . Ended up returning when she was 13 weeks. Never regretted it

Do what you want to do and ignore the comments. I worked until 34 weeks and the midwife said she wished more women would do this if it was possible for them.

I had SPD quite badly and struggling on a bus and tube each way to/from work and it was agonising, not to mention rarely getting a seat either so I was glad to finish early.

I wanted so much time alone before DD was born but ended up in having to stop working with 2 day notice and emergency C-section a few days later.

Years ago most women had no choice but to start maternity leave at 28 weeks. I don’t think that’s a bad idea at all. Once there was more freedom to choose, women often opted to work until nearer their EDD so they could have longer off after the birth. In my day, stat mat pay stopped 6 weeks after birth if mat leave started at 28 weeks.
The later stage of pregnancy is often tough and women are really tired. It’s a good thing to be able to rest a bit.

Yeah I went at 35 weeks and had a section at 38 weeks so nice 3 weeks to chill and spend time with my older child.

I do feel like people can be a bit guilt-trippy about “don’t you want those extra weeks with your child” but honestly you’re going to miss your baby either way, and 10.5 months vs 11 months isn’t a huge difference tbh

Go for it.

I think criticising women for taking "earlier" mat leave is (yet another) form of mum shaming women for not turning themselves into absolute martyrs.

It's the narrative that you should work until you pop to save that time so you can spend as long as possible with your baby, never mind the cost to your physical and mental wellbeing right now whilst you are heavily pregnant.

Don't listen to anyone else OP. Enjoy your "early" mat leave guilt free and make the most of it.

Are you sure?

Because by the late 1990s - when maternity leave was only 14 weeks paid (increased to 18 in 1999) it was no earlier than 29 weeks

If It was 28 weeks, and as maternity leave periods never shrank, then that would mean at some point, you had to take 12 weeks beforehand, and would only have two left post-natally. As it was (and still is) not permitted to work within 2 weeks of childbirth - or 4 weeks in heavier industrial roles - that means that in effect there was compulsory (reduced pay) pregnancy leave and no (paid) maternity leave.

It's a strange aspect of our culture that a lot of people feel so profoundly uncomfortable with the idea of resting being necessary and valuable.

The two pieces of advice I didn't take from the midwife who ran my antenatal course were "finish work as early as you can" and "spend the first week after birth mostly in bed". I didn't take them because I was used to being busy and productive and couldn't really stand the idea of not being so. But in hindsight, it was good advice from a woman who'd seen a lot more of life than I had.

Enjoy your mat leave OP, and hope all goes wonderfully with new arrival

It depends on the job, some are impossible to do with a 8/9 month bump. I start my mat leave at 29 weeks to the day. I couldn’t cope anymore as my job is full on with a lot of physical work and I was also being bullied by my manager (but that’s a whole other thread). Just remember it means you’d have to return to work sooner if that would be an issue for you.
So I’d say if you feel enough is enough then take it early, listen to your body as you don’t want to overdo it. You and baby’s health is more important than any job. Best of luck.

I worked up to 39 with my first, she was 2 weeks over due and I learnt from it! With my second, I started at 36 weeks and has a lovely little rest before she arrived at 39 weeks via elective C section. It doesn't matter what other people think. It's your maternity. Your body and your baby! Ignore and enjoy.

I mean I think you do you. But also I think there is a bit of a culture to carry on as long as possible so you have more time with baby when many women would benefit from the down time.

With my first i planned to stop at 36 weeks but got signed off from 35 anyway with terrible PGP (I struggled to walk). DS1 made an appearance at 40+10. I needed the time off and I wouldn't say I was bored but I was frustrated that I couldn't do much do to the PGP.

I'm currently 31 weeks pregnant and started my Mat leave last week although actually stopped at 27 weeks for the Christmas shut down annual leave. I have a somewhat physical job but only work part time anyway and I'm not sure if I'm going back or not. I'm not bored. I'm busy! But we are also renovating our house so I've got that project to organize on the go. Also, DS1 is at school and the school day is short. I'm relishing a bit of time in the afternoon where it's just the two of us.

I had my first C section at 37 weeks. I took the week off before and I remember HR asking why I didn't want to work, like I was lazy. ( I could work at home). But my blood pressure was edging up, I was enormous with a breech baby and I just wanted to rest, lie down and get ready. Some one else at work who was pregnant at the same time as me, also with a breech baby,worked in office until the end . Her waters broke there and went straight to the hospital from work. Everyone is different and you don't need to work up to your due date if you don't want to.

Years ago folk left at 29 weeks. I think it's ridiculous people going right on till a week or two before the birth. But I suppose in the end it's up to the individual woman and their health and financial circumstances.

There's nothing wrong with it. I was just bored to tears. My first was a premie so I had no time before. My second went to term. I had 4 weeks off and it was too much for me.

I was super early and started mine at 32 weeks using accrued holiday for the first 2 weeks. I had severe SPD and a sitting down job in a tiny Perspex box dealing with travel money. It was horrendously hot that year too and I just couldn’t take it. I spent my weeks lying on the sofa with my legs elevated cos they looked like sausages eating jacket potatoes and watching crappy TV. I never intended to go back to my job though after Mat leave. I knew I’d need another job cos I couldn’t work the shifts that they had. I took a job when DS was 8m old and official mat pay ended.

do what works for you. There’s no medal for waiting til your waters break at work

I think I was about 33 weeks when I went on my first mat leave? High risk twins though.

People are weird. Why on earth anyone NOT the pregnant woman or her partner give a shit I don't know.

Enjoy it. Read a book, and drink a cup of tea whilst it's still hot...something I didn't do for a long time after mine were born.

I finished at 35+4 days with my first and she was born at 40+6, I was working full time and driving for nearly 2 hours a day, so it was exhausting. Those final weeks of peace and quiet before she came along were amazing! Do whatever suits you and who cares what anyone else thinks x

As someone who's waters popped unexpectedly at 35 weeks, I'm all in favour of early leave.

It's ok to be tired, it's ok to want to rest and recouperate before the baby comes or sleep or live in knickers or catch up with friends and family.

Do what works for you now, it's a good lesson for parenthood

It’s entirely a personal choice depending on how the woman feels during her pregnancy, as well as her financial situation and if she plans to return to work afterwards.

I moved to a part time, work from home role in my first trimester when I was experiencing some morning sickness and fatigue and by 28 weeks I reduced my workload to just a few hours a week and by 38 had officially started maternity leave, my daughter came at 39+6.

Obviously this is a huge luxury that is not possible for many, but for me it was fantastic. I had plenty of rest and had everything clean, organised and ready to go so didn’t really experience any stress as I was able to prioritise looking after myself during pregnancy.

However, knowing that I was going to be a stay at home mum after my maternity leave meant I didn’t consider the need to extend time with my baby at the other end which a lot of posters have considered in their decisions.