To think there's nothing wrong with early mat leave?

[bluesign]

I'm starting mine at 34 weeks. Well technically I'll be using up annual leave before it officially starts at 37 weeks but have had a few raised eyebrows from colleagues saying it's early! It's not really though is it?

It seems the expectation amongst people at my company is to work as long as possible before the baby is due. I understand some people prefer to do this, but I can think of nothing worse than working up to 38-39 weeks. Why should I struggle through the last few weeks if I don't have to?

I can think of nothing better than doing absolutely as little as possible before baby comes.

34 weeks isn't early is it?

I could only afford to take 6 months off so I worked as long as I possibly could to maximise time off with my DS. Also I think I'd have been bored at home, just waiting for the baby to arrive.

I felt pressured to work until 39 weeks and found it really hard due to the tiredness, sciatica etc. Although it was a desk job, it was stressful with long days plus a commute.

I finished at 39 weeks and promptly went into labour the next day, failure to progress and an emergency section.

I do think that working so late contributed to this. I was angry at myself for allowing myself to be pressured but since then I make more of an effort to do what's right for me, not others.

Aha. I did not know this. I was probably thinking of the usual annual leave rules at our place, which was we could only carry over 3 days or something, and not accounting for any differences maternity leave might grant me. I really liked being able to take some before and still have a full year's worth after though. That was a well timed maternity leave!

It’s obviously totally up to you when you finish and also quite obviously dependent on the person, the pregnancy and the job.

I worked to 38 weeks twice and when I’ve said that to people it certainly hasn’t been in a “competitive” way. I was lucky and had straightforward pregnancies, easy commutes and did a desk job so had no issue working. I wanted to spend as much of my leave (annual and mat leave) with my baby so I made choices accordingly.

If I’d been ill/had a different leave policy/tricky job or whatever I’d probably have done it differently.

Well I was self-employed and only able to take 6 months, so I wasn’t going to waste any of that pre-birth. Worked to the last Friday before my due date each time. They were all a minimum of 8 days late, so I still got a bit of time to get sorted. I have a job that is not physically taxing though, so I was completely able to carry on. But don’t get me wrong, if I was you, I might well go at 35 weeks!

I’d love to know if there’s a correlation between women who worked to the last minute/in high stress roles and if they ended up having lots of interventions and/or c section. Anecdotally everyone I know who left it til 38/39 weeks to go on leave ended up having a shit show of a birth but those who went off at 35/36 weeks had better experiences. I wonder if it extends out to the general population?

Yeah... 34 weeks seems quite early, compared to others I know - but I'd say it depends on your health, job, etc.
I know most of my group were about 37/38 week finishers, and put the annual leave onto the end of their ML, so that it lasted about 14 months in all. But, you do what works for you.
My sister had her twins unexpectedly early, at 34 weeks; after them planning to induce her at 37 weeks, (8 years ago!) and was furious she'd missed out on her two weeks of napping/telly/biscuits. 😂So, anything can happen.

Nope, I finished at 34 weeks and had a shitshow birth after a shitshow pregnancy. The upside is that I found having a newborn was an absolute doddle in comparison!

Btw this is not my first so am familiar with how hard it is to go back after ML, I had to return after 6 months with DC1 which was hard but needs must! This time is different. Taking the full year and going back PT so will be able to spend more time with the baby

With my 2nd, I finished at 37 plus 4 and my waters broke that evening. I was really looking forward to a week or two to rest, tidy and mentally prepare so I think your plan sounds good if you want the best chance to have some time to do that!

I'm definitely not one of those people either who get bored doing nothing at home 😂 I can't wait!

Congratulations on your pregnany!

To answer your question no, it's not too early or unreasonable. Only you know what is best for you.

I stopped at 36 weeks. Mainly because of the nature of my job role and my commute. It's not possible to do my role as WFH.

It's working well, no need to worry about swapping shifts around for midwife or antenatal appointments. Doing all my 'nesting'. I'm also probably in the 'geriatric' camp age wise, so my bones are feeling it and I like a nap in the day!

Although not a deciding factor, I'm not someone who embraces change well. If I stopped work and had a baby all in the space of a week I'd be a mental health nightmare - I've adapted this way far better. I know I'll be mentally, physically and nestingly prepared for babes arrival.

Don't worry about what everyone else thinks or is doing, as they say 'you do you'

Best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy!

It’s fine, your choice. Most people would prefer to have the time added at the end though.
mine were both late and I ended up with about a month both times which was fine.

when my dm had me (70s) the maternity policy was “12 weeks before (due date), 6 weeks after” which seems nuts to be. She was a teacher, so I was carefully timed to arrive about 6 weeks before the summer holidays.

Ah sorry to hear it. I worked to the wire the first time and had a front row seat to the shit show too. Have taken earlier leave this time to focus on building up some rest and relaxation and hoping it won’t be as bad!

34 weeks had emergency section at 41 weeks

30 weeks and was admitted at 31 weeks and had section at 34 weeks.

My hardest / longest labour was the one I had the most leave beforehand with (but was my first labour).

@Weefreetiffany

anecdotally, in my case, not. 4 x natural labours, no pain relief, all done in no longer than 7 hours start to finish.

My experience is that people who keep active have better labours. But I have zero evidence to back this up!

I was just trying to work out when I went with my first. Considering hospital changeover dates at the beginning of August, it must have been about 33 weeks in the end, I recall going a week earlier than originally planned (and colleagues being really worried because they didn't trust that a locum would be got to fill the rota). I was working as an SHO 50 miles from home, albeit with a hospital room, in the days when we still did 24 hr on-call shifts (I generally aimed to travel home after those, but we weren't let go until mid morning at the earliest).

We then waited and waited and I was induced at 42/40. But I think I was right to stop when I did. Didn't know about accrued holiday whilst on ML at that time. Going back was a different issue - baby was 7 months and I needed to go back for my own sanity! (got a part-time job more locally, luckily; couldn't possibly have continued the London job)

Not early at all to go off on Mat leave. That's what I did with mine too. Annual leave before going off and then accumulated annual leave in the new leave year before return :)

Either is fine, whatever works for you. You commenting about people working as late as possible is no different to people commenting that you're finishing early.

Do it. I was going to work until 38 weeks, thinking I would have some time (possibly even a month!) to rest, batch cook etc. But the baby arrived at 37 weeks so I literally worked until the day I gave birth. I really wish I had those few weeks to rest!

Currently 38 weeks with DC5 and my last day at work is this Friday- using up the last of my A/L next week then officially starting Mat Leave. Don’t particularly regard it as a badge of honour- i’m not struggling at work though as do a fairly easy going office job- in fact I go to work for a rest from our toddler! I know on the other side i’ll be pleased I can stay as long as possible with baby. Last time I was taking redundancy too so I took Mat leave a bit earlier as I’d had enough of the job. If i’d been enjoying it i’d probably have worked for longer. Will say I was pretty fed up by the time DC4 arrived though as I went 12 days over so had run out of things to do and was sick of hearing people say have you not had that baby yet……..

However its personal choice- whatever works for you and your circumstances there’s no real too early or too late IMHO.

Ha! My Mum was the same. She wasn't allowed to work the last 3 days of term before the Summer, when she had me. (September baby) It was very strictly adhered to.
As she wanted to be at home with us (my sister born only 15 months before me), she quite, rather than go back in the January.
Thankfully times have moved on.

I finished at 36 weeks and I have zero regrets, I really needed that time for me. I still had nearly 13 months with my baby, which is more than many people get! This is the last time you will get to be alone and please yourself for a chunk of time, take full advantage!

With my first one I went off at 38 weeks, thinking baby was going to be late anyway and sitting at home would just be boring. The week I had at home was indeed boring, and I wanted more time with my baby.
with my second that was the plan too, but in the end I went off 4 weeks earlier than planned because I was just so so tired and really wanted some time to rest whilst toddler was in nursery.
really, whatever works for you…