To think there's nothing wrong with early mat leave?

[bluesign]

I'm starting mine at 34 weeks. Well technically I'll be using up annual leave before it officially starts at 37 weeks but have had a few raised eyebrows from colleagues saying it's early! It's not really though is it?

It seems the expectation amongst people at my company is to work as long as possible before the baby is due. I understand some people prefer to do this, but I can think of nothing worse than working up to 38-39 weeks. Why should I struggle through the last few weeks if I don't have to?

I can think of nothing better than doing absolutely as little as possible before baby comes.

34 weeks isn't early is it?

I went on mat leave at 29 weeks and never regretted it! My job was mostly office based, but with occasional very tiring events and long hours. It wasn't a supportive environment and I just wanted to enjoy the pregnancy, and nest and do some DIY too :) I ended up not going back to that job afterwards, but I would have made the same decision regardless. It was a really lovely time.

I went on mat leave at 38 weeks and my DD was 11 days overdue so by end of it I was so so bored! I was also on statutory maternity pay so I wanted to delay being poor for as long as possible😀
I am expecting my second in June and this time I’m having an ELCS at 39 weeks and I’m still planning on starting the mat leave at 38 weeks the earliest as I just don’t want to waste my holiday. I’m planning on going back to work at 6 months like last time so the accrued holiday will mean I can stay on mat leave for 5 months and take the month after that as holiday (i.e full pay).

Thirty years ago I started maternity leave at 34 weeks because my contract said I had to. I got a year off starting from the date of the baby's birth as well.

I went back already five months pregnant with DC2 and this time I went on maternity leave at 29 weeks; eleven weeks before due date was the earliest we could go. I was knackered being pregnant with a small toddler so I was glad to be able to go early.

It's a very individual choice based on all sorts of factors. For me, I had an easy pregnancy and a planned ELCS (so knew the date) so I wanted to work as much as possible to maximise the time I got with the baby and for the extra couple of weeks salary before starting Mat Leave. I can see why others would make a different choice. For me, 5 weeks of sitting around would be pretty tedious. I think I had 4 days or so and that was enough for me as it just felt like a waste of my time.

Massively depends on how long you can have off!

My mat leaves were 10 weeks and 12 weeks each in total (including 2 weeks AL) so both times I worked right up to due date to have more time with baby. I was wfh which made that easier

It's horrible to leave a baby at the end - so I'd work until the last minute, all being well.

It's not "Sod you and how you feel" - but it's 100% worse for most people to be leaving a baby than to be tired and sore from pregnancy, given that you'll be tired and sore wherever you are, if you see what I mean.

I'd have gone mad from boredom being off from 33 weeks...

I'd never judge someone else for what they did, though. Infact, I've never really considered when anyone else has gone on mat leave. You just know the date they're going. I've never bothered to work out how pregnant they are and how long they'll have off pre-baby. Surely this is one of those things that feels super important for you, but nobody else really cares about you.

I think it’s a totally individual decision & also really depends on the kind of job you have. 34 weeks does seem early when you think that’s 6 weeks off before birth potentially, but I have 2 friend who started their maternity leave at 35 weeks- they are both nurses in the NHS and so 13 hour shifts on their feet were just too difficult from that point. In contrast, I have a desk based job, hybrid working & my manager is happy for me to work from home full time right at the end if that’s what I need. At that point it’s just a case of I’m going to be sitting around at home anyway so I may as well be sitting at home working on my laptop and push back starting mat leave or using annual leave until I’m 38/39 weeks.

Depends what kind of person you are as well really, I hate sitting around doing nothing and so for me that would make the days drag. Whereas currently I’m planning on using some annual leave so that my last 3/4 weeks will be shorter weeks, so I will still have extra resting time.

It's a very personal decision. I can understand people finishing early if they have no intention to return to work after mat leave. I don't really get it otherwise as I think most people would choose to prioritise time with the baby, but it really isn't anyone else's business what you choose to do. Go when you're ready!

When I had my 1st DC I ended up having six weeks off beforehand as had five weeks of leave to take and then a week of mat leave. Was great to have time to prep for baby coming but I agree if it was more mat leave (e.g. starting mat leave at 35 weeks) I'd worry about less time with my baby. If you're going to max out your leave then you may want those extra weeks at the end as whenever you go back often feels too soon. With my son I had a week's annual leave and should have had a week of mat leave but he came early, so nothing was sorted which was stressful!

I think do whatever suits you and ignore what other people say.

I think it's early (I stopped 10 days before my EDDs) but totally up to you. I wouldn't do it if I can help it as you have a lot less time with the baby. The length of your mat leave is the same - you just spend more on it pre-birth.

If you have the annual leave take it!!
Nothing wrong with taking it right before mat leave if it's there

If I didn't have annual leave to take then I'd work right up as much as I could but don't go letting a/l go to waste and use it up at the end if you have it! It can get really tense at the end and uncomfortable

I agree people are oddly judgemental when it comes to taking maternity leave before being 40 weeks, as if everyone should want to make the same choice they would… the implication is often that someone fit and healthy with a straightforward pregnancy wouldn’t need to go any earlier.

Do whatever you want! I took mat leave at 34 weeks with both of mine and honestly wish that I had gone even sooner. I am fit and healthy, running and weight training even up to 32 weeks, and both my pregnancies were uncomplicated. I work a desk job but it requires a LOT of mental energy and I have to be constantly on the ball in meetings. I was huge and so exhausted from just being pregnant and broken sleep from getting up frequently to pee in the night. Second time round with a toddler was even harder.

It was so lovely to have time to “enjoy” the pregnancy after going on mat leave. Time to organise baby clothes, meet up with friends before I disappeared into postpartum haze for a while, read some books and go for long health giving walks. I couldn’t do those things while I was working and it really helped me cope so well psychologically when the baby arrived. I cherish that time, even looking back on it now, and absolutely didn’t want or need any longer off work when my mat leave ended.

I plan to have a third child and go off at 30 weeks. No regrets!

I worked until 39+6, baby didn't arrive until 41+2. I wasn't struggling, I even commuted by bike until 38 weeks. Fine for me. Another finished at 35 weeks and needed it, pregnancy was taking a much harder toll on her. Baby arrived at 36 weeks. Whatever leave you take before baby arrives is leave you could have taken after with baby. I can only afford the 39 weeks with some pay so every week helps.

I wanted to take my first from 36 weeks so I’d have a full month enjoying myself before baby comes. She made an appearance 6 days after I finished work 😅

The second I planned to start maternity at 38 weeks but 2 weeks annual leave before that. So another full month relaxing. Baby made a spontaneous appearance at 29 weeks. Took annual at the end of maternity instead.

My babys don’t follow my calendar!

I took mine at 36+something expecting to have some nice downtime and he made his appearance at 37+4!

No, it’s not particularly early I think, especially because you’re using leave first. I get what people say about having as long as possible with your baby, but really a week or two isn’t a huge difference if you’re taking a year (plus accrued leave!).

Also there is definitely a culture of struggling on when you’re pregnant. No one gets a medal for that.

I left at the earliest possible date. I hated my job. And didn't intend to return

I worked as long as I could and kept as much Annual leave as possible to tag on to end of maternity leave.
It does depend on circumstances though. I imagine if you had a long commute standing on a bus or train you might need to finish up earlier.

I was due to go on M/L at my due date and have 2 weeks leave before that. I ended up being off from 37 weeks as I was ill.
I had an appointment with my midwife at 38 weeks and she said she encourages women to take a few weeks if thats what they want as its not just about the baby arriving, its about the mum too.

This.

No one is call you unreasonable or judging your choices OP. You do you.

Do what’s right for you OP! I also have a stressful and mentally demanding job and was exhausted at the end of my pregnancy. Do not regret stopping when I did (37 weeks). I also felt like I needed time & space to reflect and mentally prepare for the birth and having a baby, it was invaluable. We’re all different, every pregnancy is different too.

You do what suits you and don’t worry about others. When I had my children (29 and 33 years ago) we HAD to finish at least 6 weeks before due date -teacher, but not in the UK. I actually finished earlier than that with my second child as my first child’s child minder had unexpected surgery and was going to be unable to mind him for a few weeks. It was far more settling for him to have me take the time off to be at home with him rather than be chopping and changing between various relatives.
So, in short, do what you feel is best for you. Best of luck with it all. Life changing but exciting times ahead!

Depends on your employer. I'd expect most of them to expect you start a handover by 34 weeks so the actual workload should reduce, if only because they know you could go into labour at any time or because they wrongly assume your mind is on babies not work

Most employers that offer WFH will support your request and those that dont would recognise it to be a reasonable adjustment if you follow the process. They can force you to start Mat leave early but most wont want the hassle of upsetting a pregnant woman.

I think it depends how you are planning to split your leave too - e.g. my DH took the last month of my leave as shared parental leave, but he was only able to do that up to one year after the start of my maternity leave. So any holidays I had at the end of my leave were of no use to me in extending it, without overlapping with DH.

So I made sure I had some annual leave to use at the start, so that my official maternity leave started on the day I gave birth. My work also offered to "buy back" unused leave, so that was another strong incentive to keep going.

Well, you are. You could have used the 3 weeks annual leave after mat leave and started mat leave at 38 weeks instead of 37. And then you could have a month longer with your baby.
Which of course is your prerogative to do, if you choose to start earlier, perfectly fine, but it is true what other pp have said you return earlier .

Anyway, personally since most people take mat leave around 38 weeks I would think it's wrong to deduce that a month earlier is, early .
Everyone is entitled to choose and if you have a very physical demanding job, why not, but for me personally (and clearly for loads of other people) yes I would classify it as early

I went off at 34 weeks, wasn’t planning on going back after anyway so didn’t have to worry about the other end, absolutely loved those few weeks, and for me was very much needed before the next stressful few months and sleep deprivation