If you’re in a stressful job how do you not let it affect you out of work?

[Cloud44]

Ive always admired people in stressful / busy jobs who seem to have a enjoyable life outside of work. Can anyone give me any tips?!

If you are responsible for managing someone there should be a pay differential. If the new person is on the same salary as you then a pay rise would seem justified. If not it depends on what your job description says - other duties as required covers a very broad spectrum.

Bumping because I’d like tips too!

I find it’s just really hard to have a work life balance!

Also following, as I’d love some tips too please!

Going on a run straight after work before I go home helps me think things through and settle before I go back to Mum life. Doesn't always work and I have to really force myself to go as I don't much like exercising but I feel bad when I don't.

A lot of exercise! If I’m physically doing something then I can’t think about work. I go to the gym early in the morning before work, go for a walk at lunchtime and run or do yoga in the evening. Eating properly and getting enough sleep also helps. All those things are non negotiable for me. Without them I find I get stressed and work dominates my mind outside working hours.

Determined compartmentalisation.

Hobbies which are very different to my job.

Switch my pc off when I'm done and I refuse to look at work emails out of hours.

It doesn't always work though.

My husband lets me vent for a prescribed time and then says "enough work". You need to militant about not logging on /checking email. My email signature has my working times and expected response time to emails.
I try read or watch something engaging and easy.

If my mind is spinning I might try do something practical just to get it out of my head..might write some notes about how to tackle the issue when back at work but once that is done..it's done.

When I am on annual leave I come out of all whatap groups for the week...then get let back in!

"You can't change the situation, you can change your response to that situation" really resonates with me.

Perspective.
Knowing that none of it reallly matters. In 100 years we’ll all be dead and forgotten about like millions before us. And all the worries and angst we feel mean nothing in the grand scheme of things. So what’s the point in stressing. A bit morbid, but a thought process that helps me look at the big picture.

I think that we are twins.

Also making plans is important. Don’t lose those days off just sat on the sofa. Arrange to meet friends or go to the beach.

If you wfh a good morning and afternoon routine are key.

"You can't change the situation, you can change your response to that situation"

I love this.

I take decent breaks, even if I had to add time on later. I would fight to protect my lunch hour and reschedule any meetings that clashed.

I would delegate as much as was sensible.

I don’t check my work emails before bed. I leave my work phone and laptop downstairs.

I’ve learnt to not get emotionally invested in people and decisions. If a decision is made and I disagree I can leave my emotional response out of it. If someone is rude or difficult, that’s their choice, I don’t dwell.

I don’t worry about things outside my scope. Another dept being cut back, not my issue; someone being pushed out, sad but no benefit in me worrying; my job changing, unless I can impact it, I accept and move on.

I had a breakdown due to work stress. I had to have a chunk of time off. These techniques really help me.

I work hard at work because I'm paid to and I'm paid to care.

When I'm off the clock, I'm not paid to care about it. If I start thinking about work, I literally think, I'm not being paid to think about this and force myself to do something else. Run until I cant think, cook something, computer game.

A rested employee with a good work life balance is a better employee

I work mindfully and am a mum mindfully - might sound like nonsense but one is one and the other is the other. I don't mix them

Cycle to and from work.

I plan my free time carefully- gym, sport,having people over so I am doing things - and so not thinking about work . When I work I am very focused -I am not e.g fitting in picking the children up from school . When they were younger I had an excellent nanny - we had a great relationship and when I was at work she was in control. When I was home I did not think about work. It gets easier

I watch what's happening to me at work as if I'm watching a film, and breathe.
I behave in a way so I won't beat myself up afterwards, wh8ch i rend to do. Like Michele Obama says when they go low, you go high"

I am good at compartmentalising my life.

Also, my overarching philosophy is very “life is meaningless and everything dies.” This stops me from taking myself, or any work issues too seriously.

If you are a teacher or work in FE, all advice is off the table. Just get out or you will go quite insane.

Prespective.
Whats really important. Family. Health etc.
Really, the job would replace you if something happened to you.
Make sure you clock off on time (some working late is inevitible) dont check laptop and emails when on annual leave.
Family life is more important ♥️

These are all great suggestions...I'm a teacher though and honestly struggle to ever really switch off...maybe in the summer I do for 3-4 weeks before the results come in and it starts again...but I think I honestly feel I am making a difference and that helps...and great colleagues who care too!

I look at my life as "glass balls" - things that HAVE to be done or they will smash and ruin, and "bouncy balls" - things that will continue unaffected if you ignore them.

I find that helps x

Determined compartmentalisation.
Switch my pc off when I'm done and I refuse to look at work emails out of hours.

This.

Also when i switch off i go into family mode where my focus is kids & DH, it blocks out work thoughts.

I think it helps that along the way ive had a few life experiences that created some serious perspective.

Small things like a takeaway coffee on the way to work, taking a proper lunch without work phone, I tend to read a book. I avoid eye contact with people in the canteen as I just want to eat and read. Take annual leave every 8 to 10 weeks, try and work from home on a Friday to catch up on unfinished admin.
The big one is reminding myself that your employer doesn’t really give two hoots about you really, you could get run over by a bus and they would replace you in the blink of an eye. Do the best you can with the tools you have that is all you can do.

I’m an academic - not life and death, but work can expand to fill all the time in the world. Day could bleed into night could bleed into day if I’m not careful. I swim after work most days in the local hotel pool. I’m not fast and I’m not elegant, but I swim a kilometre and that allows the cogs in my brain to drop into place, my shoulders to dehunch, and allow me to get back to the day job of being a wife and a mother.