Anger and sadness at this interaction with homeless person

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Tonight, a polite homeless man named Kevin told me he secured a spot in a 12-week program at St Mungo's after a year of homelessness. He needed £7.50 urgently to go there tonight and had been trying all day. Skeptical, I regretfully declined, later realizing he might have been genuine.

I'm replaying the whole conversation in my head and now I think I recall him almost bursting into tears as he asked if there was any way at all I could help him.

This one might have been genuine and I'm so disgusted with myself.

I could have helped. I had a £5 note in my purse....and I am fortunate enough that I wouldn't miss it or notice it gone.

And at the same time I'm also so angry at scammers of this thing. If someone stood in front of you asking begging for a small amount of money to help them and you knew it was genuine OF COURSE all of us would help! But genuine people don't get the help they need because scammers make people have attitudes like mine tonight.

There is no way to phone st Mungo's now to 'pre pay' for Kevin should he turn up tonight....meanwhile I'm going home to sleep in my warm bed and work my lovely job tomorrow.

Poor Kevin, I'm sorry I didn't help you.

My policy with this stuff if that if it's an amount of money I wouldn't miss- I've spent more than £7.50 on a coffee and a cake- it doesn't matter what is for. I would have given him the £7.50: what's the worst case scenario if you had? That he'd had a small amount of money off of you to spend on booze/drugs. Hardly matters does it. I always give to homeless people, it's a basic human kindness.

Someone who's addicted to alcohol can't just stop, not safely, anyway, it can be fatal. That's why people who are able to get treatment have a managed detox in hospital, followed by a long spell in rehab.

Illegal in most cities?? Eh??

This part. They target certain demographics based on perceived generosity. Gender and race and age is taken into account.

I didn’t realise this was a thing until I’d spoken to a few others including homeless people but apparently many target POC/ black women in particular because they see them as being left wing , social justice minded and out to fight for the little man etc. it does explain a lot of my experiences growing up as the only POC in an area with a lot of drug addicted people on the street.

I find this massively problematic for several reasons one of them being women POC are often the least likely to be offered help and most likely to be discriminated against which then impacts their economic success (See gender and racial pay gap) so no we shouldn’t be expected to be front of the line giving out money to anyone.

Agree with most posters on this thread including the person who said it should be stopped and homelessness and addiction tackled properly. Many women have had unpleasant encounters with men asking for money late at night and feeling intimidated. I also know both men and women who have suffered verbal abuse including racial abuse for refusing to give money.

A lot of the people who don’t mind the practice are those who want to feel good about giving a fiver to the guy on the street while not actually doing the hard of work of supporting organisations and politicians to tackle the root of the problem.

Op don’t feel bad, you did the right thing and you can use that money towards supporting a homeless charity which is what they advise anyway as per the guardian article someone posted earlier. Or buy a tea and hot sandwich for the next homeless person you encounter.

Those who don’t mind the high risk of funding drug and alcohol habits or trafficking rings by giving indiscriminately to people on the street well crack on as each to their own and all that, but I’m not going to feel bad about donating to homeless charities and (in the past ) volunteering at soup kitchens instead.

I'm answering this post based on what you've written, not on the various moral arguments about giving homeless people money.

Ring St Mungos and ask them if they charge £7.50. If they do, and it was bothering me so much I'd go back to where I saw Kevin last and give it to him. If they don't charge then I'd just chalk it up to a sad experience that someone has to lie like that and let it go.

Yes it might have been a scam, and probably was. But if there was a slim chance it might have helped someone, I would have given it and moved on. Nobody on here knows if it was genuine or not.

That they die as a direct result of your money?

I wouldn't give an actively suicidal person money that would be used to buy a blade either.

You are enabling their drugvdealer though. Buy a hot drink but no cash.
Team was out the other night offering rooms for the night and out of 16 approached only 2 accepted.
Where i work , they know all the regulars and their back stories, its not as simple as offering them somewhere to live.
Anyone say they need money for a hostel is lying. Hostels are free

I’m sorry but if someone burst into tears in front of me and asked for help you can bet your arse I would. You’d have to be entirely cold and callous not to.

It's a difficult call to make as there are many genuine homeless desperate people which is why there needs to be proper organised help that is able to provide for the complex issue of getting people off the street which takes time and a lot of money.
I have noticed since the cost of living became worse, begging people are acting more desperately. Presumably because people aren't able to give as much.
I heard that animal charities receive an rye watering amount of money whereas charities which support human needs don't receive a lot. Think of the people living in misery next time you donate towards a chipmunk with a sore toe.

I see the same people frequently outside the train station asking for money for a train fare because they have lost their card/fallen on hard times/ off to a refuge. The same people.

The worse case scenario is if it is for drugs your money is supporting that industry. Which is an industry that traps vulnerable people in the first place, and can ultimately kill them. A industry where to fund their habit, young men commit crime and young women sell their bodies. It gets kids trafficking the gear and gang wars where young people end up murdered. While the people at the top of the chain are laughing at their expense.

Zero judgement on the poor souls who are addicted but I don’t want my money funding that.

I was on the bus when a known homeless man tried to get on with an out of date ticket. Driver told him to get off. It was a wet day and I felt sorry for him so I walked up and gave him the two pound for a ticket, he thanked me, turned around and got off the bus lol. Apparently does it most days and gets cash this way. I admired his cheek for a bit there lol

Why do we need to know that his name was Kevin? Weird

He was almost certainly lying - sorry but I've worked with homeless programmes and no upfront payment is required and transport would be arranged (we had a council minibus to collect people early evening once the school runs were done)

@Barleysugar86 there's also an argument to give directly to the needy as £5 to a homeless person is better than £5 towards the salary of a charity chief exec. It's a tricky issue

I think if you want to help, sometimes best to offer something practical eg passing on a coat. But of course, we don't walk around with our old coats just in case we see someone who might need it

You genuinely sound like a nice person and I understand your dilemma. I would have done the same as you, by the way.
Perhaps you can move on from this and support a homeless charity, or help in a soup kitchen or outreach project, if you have time or money to spare?

Kevin was almost certainly spinning you a line OP. We get the same in Leeds, for a specific amount to go to St George’s Crypt. The Crypt is free. Either that or the money to get to Bradford to see their sick gran in hospital.

The specific amount makes it sound more plausible.

I would think if hes homeless and someone/agency have supported him to get the place, then i imagine they would fund his taxi there too. Ikwym, its hard to know who to trust and also what the purpose of the money is actually for. Ive worked with homeless individuals before and they are very sneaky with money/asking for it

I give to homeless charities and will buy someone a sandwich, chips, a coffee, bag of dog food but never ever give money

Your heart is in the right place but this is a scam:

• St Mungo's does not charge for their support programmes and they are run during the day, not at night (things like courses, workshops and so on)
• Same with hostel accommodation. He would not be asked to pay. The charity would sort that out
• £7.50 sounds a lot if what he just wanted was some cash for transport. Homeless people tend to use support services near the place where they are used to sleeping rough (meaning the same borough, somewhere they can walk to).

I have worked for homeless charities for a few years.

If you want to help homeless people donate to one of your local homeless charity.

Support workers in the charities that I have worked for often supplied clients with pre-paid phone so they had a mean to call if they had any urgent need for support.

Also think about it, why £7.50? because it is likely people will give a fiver rather than a couple of quids when ask for that amount.

There’s a guy near me who begs outside a local supermarket every night. Has a sleeping bag and golf umbrella in all weathers. He’s very very polite, chats to people and develops regular support.

He lives in the next road to me with his wife and kids. He’s been called out a few times and he feels totally justified. He says he used to be an alcoholic and this option is better for everyone.

Only sharing as he is convincing so many people as they walk out the tube. He presents well as a sort of ideal homeless person to them, polite, speaks of being very vulnerable and grateful and makes people feel guilty/ really good for helping. His eldest was in my eldest sons class, the family aren’t in crisis

This.

The brutal truth.

This situations has been decades in the making - "Care in the Community" under Thatcher's regime kick-started it and successive govts and politicians of ALL political stances have exacerbated it.

It's a fucking disgrace!

https://www.google.com/amp/s/metro.co.uk/2017/12/11/mothers-open-letter-begging-people-not-give-homeless-son-money-clothes-7148711/amp/

I always remember this. I do not give money

Pick local charity where you know where the money go. We donate to our small local one. They do good work