Asking husband and BIL to contribute?

[Ajp898]

My Husband and his brother went out for Drinks over the Weekend with a few College friends who they hadn't seen for some time.

My BILs partner of 2 years arranged to pick them up and drop husband off then take themselves home as I dropped them off to our local town. Didn't ask what time he would be back, but left a key to let self in as to not wake the kids or me. We are pretty heavy sleepers and sleep on the top floor of a townhouse.

I woke up Sunday morning to find BIL asleep on the sofa in our livingroom - absolutely fine. Bit odd as his partner arranged to collect from town but whatever.

I went up to the Spare room (which is also my part-time business base and my little bit of the house I call my own - kids have own rooms, husband has the garage and a man cave shed. The spare room is decorated how I like ect), to find the guest bed had been slept in.

Again, not really a issue, but it did have the nice new bedding I'd brought on it, which was quite expensive as I'd used some birthday and Christmas money to buy it. which I hadn't even slept in or used yet. I'd put it on the bed as had visions of husband coming in drunk, snoring and so id retreat to the spare room. Husband crawled into bed with me that night, and I must have been shattered as I didn't actually hear him snore.

Anyway, I was a bit annoyed as if I knew I wouldn't have put the new bedding on as such. Went to strip the bed, to find the duvet, bottom sheet AND mattress were soaked in urine. BIL had obviously had an accident due to drinking too much being so blinding drunk. One thing on the list which peeved me off. I woke husband to get him up to sort it, as I wasn't doing it. Went to grab my laptop off the desk to go work in the diningroom, to find a glass of water had been spilt on the keyboard too, and it has water damage to it!

I've lost it and said BIL and Husband need to get the laptop repaired or get me a replacement. Husbands said accidents happen, and that my laptop shouldn't have been left out ON MY DESK - you know, where I work from? Not only that, I can't shift the stench of stale urine from the mattress and mind over matter - the new bedding still longs too although I think it's psychological.

Turns out reason he came back here for the night is because his partner gave him a curfew of 1am, waited outside the pub for them, to find they had travelled to the next town around 11pm and not told her. She sat waiting for 45minutes to bring them both home at the agreed location. Finally got hold of them, found out they weren't where they were and basicly told them (rightly) to sort own way home! They got a cab back which my husband footed and cost almost £90!

Am I in the wrong for asking them to pay and sort my laptop? It's used for work and I need it. Luckily can work from my phone for most of it, but my designs are saved on there and software only works via a pc/laptop. Also said they need to get my mattresses professionally cleaned. And also loosing my nerve at them both? Accidents do happen, but the fact they were both drunk beyond recognition and this happened combined has topped it!

I also don't understand the suggestions that you should claim back £45 of the £90 taxi fair. I'm presuming DH paid for this from his own money and not joint funds? As long as it's not from joint household money he can make the decision, as an adult, to pay for himself and his brother to get a taxi. If he'd like half of that back it's surely a separate issue to the issue of the bedwetting/laptop incident for DH and BIL to resolve between themselves.

This has turned into a very expensive night out!

True. I didn't think of that.
Id still return the extra money offered after cost of the excess for claiming. The insurance has saved them both from a big bill.

I’m astonished at how grabby some people are. Charging them 20 pence for a cup of detergent? You cannot be serious.

It's not something I would do personally, but lots of people are suggesting that the OP should claim back the cost of the bedding from the BIL. That seems extreme to me when bedding can be washed, but if it's something that other people would feel is "owed" if they found themselves in this situation, surely the cost of restoring the bedding back to a non-urine soaked state is more reasonable than replacing the whole lot?

Bil should pay for a new mattress. But who spilt the water on the laptop? If they're not sure, then half each.

That's a great update. If they've paid for the mattress and your insurance has paid for a new laptop, I wouldn't take the £250. Just give it back.

@Ajp898

If you're not going to be out of pocket for the laptop then I wouldn't keep the money. IMHO it's not honest. BUT I would hold onto it until I got my laptop back repaired or replaced to make sure I didn't have to pay anything AND that it was working to my satisfaction and had everything on it that I needed to do my work. Then I'd return the money.

As far as 1/2 the taxi fare, if you're going to return the 200 I might 'propose' that we hold back 45 for BiL's share.

One thing I would do, though, is let DH and BiL know that BiL is NEVER to spend the night here drunk again, ever. And bullshit to any excuses or 'it won't happen again'. Once bitten, twice shy.

I'd take whatever the excess is on the insurance, and let them know that will do.

Before you consider what they should or shouldn’t pay for the laptop, figure for certain what will be involved for you to be made whole.

you may out of pocket expenses. You may face a higher charge for insurance on your new computer. Figure all that out before you say anything to them.

That’s disgusting - of course they should pay. Largely your BIL as he’s the one who pissed in the bed. God it’s disgusting

Update #3/4?...

Soon as I found out the insurance claim was possible, I'd decided I wouldn't take the £ for it, but thought I'd ask the majority here what they thought.

Husband was aware of the claim, I'd told him I'd found that I could, and looking into the excess charge as such, it's capped at £100. Doing so means premium goes up - but it's only for the next 7mths and it's not by much. SIL insisted take the £100, and so we have, but it's in our safe. We plan to give it back once the laptop arrives. I can afford the £100, just not the total £900+ to totally replace.

Someone previously mentioned or asked why I keep mentioning SIL. Yeah, whilst it's not her duty to sort, if my husband did what my BIL did, I'd be bending over backwards to sort it. It's what you do in a partnership, and after 6 years, I'd have thought she would have done so too.

You Took their hundred? Wow. Just wow. He made a mistake, he apologised, he paid, and you still took more than you were due?

fuck me.

I really hope you never make a mistake op, because if you do, karma will dictate you get hurt hard , really hard, for it, as that’s what you do to others.

I do love it when posters froth so much they lose all ability to read.

Did you quote me by mistake. How ironic.

OK love. How about you read the OPs update again, slooowly. Take deep breaths as you do it and try and calm down a bit.

Then, when you've realised you got it wrong first (and second) time around, I'm sure OP will accept your apology

Hold my hand darling, we can do it together

😂

I declined it, said it wasn't necessary and explained the insurance would pay for it. She insisted, multiple times, and so we've taken it, but it's in the safe. We are giving it back when the laptop arrives.

I did say that previously. We've zero intention of keeping it.

As said, id not have done that. Their money is tight, they have paid for the mistake,I think taking their extra 100 goes too far. Even if you intend to give it back, he made a mistake he paid for it, it should never go further.

@Getthethrowonthesofa are you the piss laden BIL or something?

Pigs, the pair of them. To you & SIL.

Also, the fact that you & SIL are left to sort it.
Sometimes, I think most blokes are Homer Simpson!

She was due a hell of a lot more than that just for washing all the pissed on bedding, clothes and sofa covers.

I didn't see the update. Happy that it's worked out, OP.
I would definitely not allow BIL to spend the night after drinking again, so maybe that will be a wake-up call to him to moderate himself.
It's good you can look past the bedding and live with it laundered, though it would need to be sanitized for me to feel that way, so thumbs up to you.

It's nice that you are giving them back the money. Once my anger melted, I would have done the same. I said I would have bought new bedding with the money, but if it could be sanitized, it would have been enough (I think). I would have made them pay for the sanitizing and 1/2 the taxi ride though.

Kudos to you and your SIL for getting it sorted.

That is fucking disgusting! Bil should be mortified and be crawling over himself to get you a new mattress. Bedding is ok to be washed.