Asking husband and BIL to contribute?

[Ajp898]

My Husband and his brother went out for Drinks over the Weekend with a few College friends who they hadn't seen for some time.

My BILs partner of 2 years arranged to pick them up and drop husband off then take themselves home as I dropped them off to our local town. Didn't ask what time he would be back, but left a key to let self in as to not wake the kids or me. We are pretty heavy sleepers and sleep on the top floor of a townhouse.

I woke up Sunday morning to find BIL asleep on the sofa in our livingroom - absolutely fine. Bit odd as his partner arranged to collect from town but whatever.

I went up to the Spare room (which is also my part-time business base and my little bit of the house I call my own - kids have own rooms, husband has the garage and a man cave shed. The spare room is decorated how I like ect), to find the guest bed had been slept in.

Again, not really a issue, but it did have the nice new bedding I'd brought on it, which was quite expensive as I'd used some birthday and Christmas money to buy it. which I hadn't even slept in or used yet. I'd put it on the bed as had visions of husband coming in drunk, snoring and so id retreat to the spare room. Husband crawled into bed with me that night, and I must have been shattered as I didn't actually hear him snore.

Anyway, I was a bit annoyed as if I knew I wouldn't have put the new bedding on as such. Went to strip the bed, to find the duvet, bottom sheet AND mattress were soaked in urine. BIL had obviously had an accident due to drinking too much being so blinding drunk. One thing on the list which peeved me off. I woke husband to get him up to sort it, as I wasn't doing it. Went to grab my laptop off the desk to go work in the diningroom, to find a glass of water had been spilt on the keyboard too, and it has water damage to it!

I've lost it and said BIL and Husband need to get the laptop repaired or get me a replacement. Husbands said accidents happen, and that my laptop shouldn't have been left out ON MY DESK - you know, where I work from? Not only that, I can't shift the stench of stale urine from the mattress and mind over matter - the new bedding still longs too although I think it's psychological.

Turns out reason he came back here for the night is because his partner gave him a curfew of 1am, waited outside the pub for them, to find they had travelled to the next town around 11pm and not told her. She sat waiting for 45minutes to bring them both home at the agreed location. Finally got hold of them, found out they weren't where they were and basicly told them (rightly) to sort own way home! They got a cab back which my husband footed and cost almost £90!

Am I in the wrong for asking them to pay and sort my laptop? It's used for work and I need it. Luckily can work from my phone for most of it, but my designs are saved on there and software only works via a pc/laptop. Also said they need to get my mattresses professionally cleaned. And also loosing my nerve at them both? Accidents do happen, but the fact they were both drunk beyond recognition and this happened combined has topped it!

I'd take the money, OP.
You deserve it for the chaos alone.

And if BIL and SIL realise how much money this is costing them it might make BIL have a think about his tendency to piss large amounts of money against a wall.

Almost literally, so to speak.

*I've actually now put a claim through insurance to get a replacement - I'd been paying for cover and never claimed, thought it finished after 2 years but it runs for 3, so lucky there I guess.

The £200 they've offered, do I take it? Even though I've a new one coming through my insurance claim? I feel a bit scammy doing so as it won't be going towards a new one as such.*

Do you have to pay an excess on your insurance claim? If so, BIL absolutely must pay it. If not, then take the money anyway as "arsehole tax" to cover the inconvenience BIL has caused.

But really, if there isn't an excess, then BIL has got off scot free if you don't take the money, and that really isn't okay. Also, insurance claim aside, I'd be concerned that they wouldn't make any further payments beyond the first one.

Take it and use it to buy new bedding and lock for the spare room door.

💯THIS ⬆

Take the money! Assuming you have excess to pay and premiums may go up?

"SIL is fuming too, she was really apologetic as well. Was no offer to help fix/replace said laptop, and she knows I use it and need it for work."

Agree with you, OP, except that a couple of times you've included SIL as if she had some role/responsibility in sorting the situation. Surely not?

No I’d not take the 200 that’s not fair. And you know money is tight, they have paid for the mattress and the bedding is fine. Please don’t scam them,

Do you have an excess at all or was in guarantee? If so no I wouldn’t take the money so,e times it is best to be the better person

By not taking the £200 and explaining why (insurance claim), you will gain a lot of respect I think. Yes, you could have taken it but you have only wanted what's fair all along and returning the £200 goes a long way towards harmony. It's not a power trip.

Yep - another one saying take the money. BIL is accepting the responsibility for his actions at your home and it should, hopefully, make him think twice another time. Also, I'm assuming your insurance premium would rise as a result of the claim? BTW are you going to tell your husband about your laptop insurance claim? 🌹

It’s stealing from your in-laws. She isn’t out of pocket 200. It’s shocking to come on line and be baying for her to rob her family.

yes he got drunk. Yes he made a mistake. Yes he paid for it. But advising her to go further and scam them, is abysmal.

Exactly. I’m shocked at the folks excitedly baying for her to effectively rob them

I’d take the money and use it to buy fresh bedding.

I hope you didn’t wash his clothes and returned them in the state he left them.

She doesn’t need new bedding, bedding has a Miraculous quality. You can wash it.

Decent outcome in the end but I wouldn’t take the laptop money. You would sort of lose the moral high ground if you do that

and to be fair a cup of water can get knocked over even if you aren’t pissed.

However they should replace the bedding as well as the mattress. They could always take the washed urine soaked bedding if they want it in return for buying new stuff for you.

Urine stains and the smell can definitely linger.
She had brand new luxury bedding she had never got chance to sleep in why should she now have the soiled stuff even if it’s been washed.

I would and replace your sheets and bedding.

Yes take the money and replace your bedding. You can always give them the pissy bedding.

Definitely this!!

There is still the cost of the taxi which both used so half cost and also replacement bedding. I wouldn't feel the same about the room/sleeping in the bed again if I knew that the lovely bedding I had chosen was now something which had been pissed all over. The £250 pays for that plus any excess on your insurance. Plus your insurance will go up when you renew because you had to make a claim. The £250 hardly covers all of that. Plus you have had all the stress of this in your home and extra work. You could use that to have your sofa professionally cleaned. They are getting off lightly paying a paltry amount towards a ruined expensive laptop.

Take the money. Spend it on pillows or duvet or bedding to wipe the memory of this, otherwise you will just resent bil forever. It’s disgusting.

Take the money. Your "free" laptop from the insurer will result in higher premiums so the money from them can cover those increased costs. Dont tell them about the claim. If DH refuses their money then he is 100% personally liable for paying for insurance hikes for the next 5 years.

It's fine to ask them to pay but that's a really long way of saying BIL pissed the bed when he was drunk and I feel him and DH should replace the damaged items.

Its lucky you were insured! as they were only going to pay a fraction of the replacement costs.

I think given that you are insured I would let them off the extra payment as times are tight
Except...

He still owes £45 for half the £90 taxi fare.
the insurance excess you will have to pay I think they should cover that.

I don't know if you should/could charge for insurance premiums as presumably policy renewal is a way off and you don't know if other factors could affect it and youcan move to a different company for introductory rate. As you have a good record it may not make a huge difference.

At the end of the day they have made restitution, you have a new mattress and SIL did apologise a lot of his behalf ( although none of this is her fault)

As they've paid for the mattress I'd only take the cost of your insurance excess from the £250 they've offered, and maybe the cost of a biological washing detergent (assuming you use non-bio) to ensure any lingering urine odours on the bedding have definitely been dealt with.

It's easy now in an angry state to justify that you deserve the full £250 for the inconvenience but if it comes out down the line that you didn't need it (bearing in mind they've also reimbursed you for the mattress), it could cause issues between DH and BIL. You know money is tight for them and as long as actual costs have been covered is it worth being viewed as making a profit from your inconvenience?