AIBU Should seating at swimming etc be reserved for adults

[ItsdefnotmeItsyou]

So we go to swimming lessons, the lessons are 45mins long and my 2 children go one after the other, so I’m there for 1hr30mins. There’s 2 lessons at a time in the pool, up to max 8 children per class, but usually about 12/13 total. There aren’t many parents with more than 1 child swimming at a time so usually there are 12/13 or so parents plus some siblings maybe 3-5. There are however only 8/9 chairs. There’s not enough seats for all adults let alone children. More often than not, there are youngish children occupying seats, Or worse, Nintendo switches and such reserving seats that don’t end up sat on for the majority of the lesson. This leaves the adults to stand for 45mins(or in my case potentially 1 1/2 hours-although I can usually get a seat at changeover time if I didn’t have one) or sit on the floor in 1 of only 2 appropriate spaces to do so(some adults don’t mind standing and there are a few that always choose to stand up and watch even if seats are available- that’s their prerogative - I however do suffer with back pain (not that I expect anyone to know that) but that’s my reason for needing/wanting to sit and probably why it annoys me more than if I didn’t have an issue standing) When I have a seat I won’t let my other child occupy a seat unless it is clear no adult wishes to sit there (rarely) and even then if an adult is after a seat I will let them have it. We have also just changed which day we swim so encountered a whole different set of parents and the situation is exactly the same. AIBU to think this is just rude and inconsiderate? Or should children still have priority on a first come basis?

I’d be tempted to take a fold up chair.

People who need it should be prioritised for a seat, it’s not an adult / child thing.

But Nintendo Switches definitely do not need their own seat, so I’d be moving those if I wanted to sit down.

I'd just say to the parent, 'sorry to bother you- I have back problems and need to sit here, where should I move your child's switch?'

Children also are tired at the end of the day? I would not take a seat from a child and leave them to stand. Attitudes like that belong in the past imo.

anyone actually sitting in the chairs should be free to use them. If it is just belongings sitting there so someone can possibly sit later, I would say something or even move them and sit down.

Swimming is hell on earth! We have no seats to sit on, we have to stand outside to watch with no seats. In the changing room for my daughters lesson I currently have to deal with nightmare family of 5 kids with only 2 having lessons and the other 3 all on gadgets full volume no headphones different apps in a small changing area with a very gentle parent!!

It brings out the selfish in all of us - I have taken to sitting in the car for some peace!

77% think it unreasonable for an adult with back pain to have a chair?! Surely objectively kids are more able to sit on the floor beside their parents or stand for longer? Can’t believe that 77% of you are giving up your tube seats to small children on the basis they need it more or ‘attitudes like that should remain in the past’…it’s just the same, they don’t have the greater need.

If there’s stuff on the seat I’d ask for it to be moved, if a child is in the seat then that’s fair enough, I wouldn’t expect a child to give up a seat, in fact if there was one seat I’d let my child sit first and stand myself. The only time I’d make my child give up a seat is if someone elderly needed it or if an adult said they needed it for whatever reason.
Bring a fold up chair or something so it isn’t an issue.

I think it's good manners to teach a child to offer a seat to their elders. I'm in my 30s and as children on the bus or train with limited seating we were always told by our parents to " stand up and let the man/ lady sit down"(not everyone took the seat) when we were young enough to sit on a parents lap they immediately took us to sit there but otherwise we stood.

Children dont generally get back problems or things of that nature from standing after a long day, even if tired. Children also dont tend to work as hard as adults do in a day. I think it's a kind and normal thing to do.

That goes for doctor/dentist waiting rooms etc also.

@Theoware I don’t think people think that people with back pain shouldn’t sit, just that tired children’s legs are just as tired as adult legs are so whoever is using the chair should sit on it. Nobody knows that OP has back pain so if she wants someone else to give up their seat she will have to disclose that information.

nobody has said that they would get off their seat if a child comes in. That wasn’t the question.

I don't think adults should trump children. I think anyone who finds it harder to stand gets a seat over others, so you should get a seat because of your back pain.

I'd simply move any belongings left on a chair in this situation.

I would take a seat too. Yourn own comfortable clean seat guaranteed. Problem solved.

Adults don't trump kids in this situation, although humans do trump things so dump the stuff on the floor if you have to. Alternatively
(a) bring a fold up chair
(b) ask the pool to put out more chairs
(c) go for a nice walk during lessons

Me too. Job done.

‘A nice walk’. You know it’s pitch black by early evening, freezing cold, and how many swimming pools are in areas which would be suitable for a nice walk!
Mumsnet solution, up there with a Spa Day and a Hot Choc. No thanks.

Children are people too and little ones are often more fatigued by the afternoon than us adults. But Nintendo switches are definitely not people so I would ask where the parent would like me to put it and sit down. Failing that, I would have a light camping chair in the car ready to go.
The disabled, the elderly and pregnant women get priority for seating. Adults do not automatically get priority seating over children.

Of course adults should have priority. As for “reserving “ a seat with a toy - the rudeness!

Agreed. I’m a bit confused as to why adults do not trump children - perhaps it’s recalling all the times I’ve watched children squirming around on chairs, or jumping on and off them, all the time ‘sitting on a chair’. They clearly have more expendable energy!

children do get tired too, but they are generally far more capable of sitting on the floor and taking up less space while doing so than an adult. therefore where possible, children should be seated on the floor and the chairs occupied by adults.

Why?
Whoever gets there first gets priority - unless you have a disability obviously.

Why 'of course' exactly?

Swimming pool waiting areas/viewing galleries are the 11th circle of hell. My youngest DC has just finished but I had YEARS of this (bar Covid). Until they were old enough that I didn't have to be in the building and could go for a walk or wait in the car.

With DCs moving between groups we used to have to change classes/days/times regularly and there was always:

• A family who treated it as an occasion out, brought all siblings and extended family members to coo over the one lone child actually in the pool, taking up every available seat and reserving others with coats/snacks/various tablets and switches. The spectator kids would usually be anywhere other than their seat, often doing cartwheels or gymnastics around any free floor space.

• The same non swimming children (boys and girls) galloping in and out of the girls changing room when they had absolutely no need to be in it, holding doors open, screaming and fighting. Awful for the children trying to get showered and changed.

• Peppa pig cartoons at full volume. On repeat.

• A very vocal and passionate child who asked for sweets from the vending machine for 28 minutes of a 30 minute session, until their parent gave in and bought them. Thus sending a clear message that complaining and whining DOES work if you persevere loudly

Different families, different people but always the same old nonsense

Bring a fold up chair, though ask if allowed first. I don't agree with adults trump Children.

Your back issue is an unknown entity to them. Ask if you need one?

Children can easily sit on the ground - adults with back pain not so easily.