AIBU Should seating at swimming etc be reserved for adults

[ItsdefnotmeItsyou]

So we go to swimming lessons, the lessons are 45mins long and my 2 children go one after the other, so I’m there for 1hr30mins. There’s 2 lessons at a time in the pool, up to max 8 children per class, but usually about 12/13 total. There aren’t many parents with more than 1 child swimming at a time so usually there are 12/13 or so parents plus some siblings maybe 3-5. There are however only 8/9 chairs. There’s not enough seats for all adults let alone children. More often than not, there are youngish children occupying seats, Or worse, Nintendo switches and such reserving seats that don’t end up sat on for the majority of the lesson. This leaves the adults to stand for 45mins(or in my case potentially 1 1/2 hours-although I can usually get a seat at changeover time if I didn’t have one) or sit on the floor in 1 of only 2 appropriate spaces to do so(some adults don’t mind standing and there are a few that always choose to stand up and watch even if seats are available- that’s their prerogative - I however do suffer with back pain (not that I expect anyone to know that) but that’s my reason for needing/wanting to sit and probably why it annoys me more than if I didn’t have an issue standing) When I have a seat I won’t let my other child occupy a seat unless it is clear no adult wishes to sit there (rarely) and even then if an adult is after a seat I will let them have it. We have also just changed which day we swim so encountered a whole different set of parents and the situation is exactly the same. AIBU to think this is just rude and inconsiderate? Or should children still have priority on a first come basis?

I would take my own little folding stool to sit on if I needed to sit

Seats are first come first served so arrive a few minutes earlier and bag a seat vacated by someone from the previous lesson?

Where my DC had lessons there were zero seats. All adults either stood up and leaned on the rail or sat on the floor.

I’d make a complaint to the swimming company. I did something similar and now no siblings or parents are allowed poolside (or in changing rooms) for children over 8.

The main issue is the lack of seating so I would complain to the swimming pool about it. Ours has about thirty plastic chairs that stack for use by parents/siblings.
I do think children have as much right as parents to a seat.
Bags and devices on seats is not acceptable though.

People can be so entitled these days with regards to their kids. Growing up my mum would make me give up my seat on a bus to an adult and sit on her lap. Embarrassing when you were about 10.

The swimming school can send out notices about this to their customers - please be considerate when using the limited seating and consider if younger children could share a seat, etc. You pay a lot for lessons, complain to the swim school themselves.

Many parents sit on the floor too. I really don't see a problem for someone in their 40s and 50s sitting on the floor. Let alone those in their 20s or 30s. We aren't invalids. We don't want people to age discriminate us in the workplace, and here I see people asking us to be treated as the elderly.

I would ask someone if you can move their stuff to sit if no one is using the chair and I would also ask the pool to provide more seating as there clearly isn't enough.

While we're on the topic, do you know what really grinds my gears? People who use the changing rooms as lockers to store all their shit. There is an (admittedly awful) leisure centre pool near us and every time we go, families have dumped all of their bags, towels, floats, shoes, whatever on the benches in one of the like 10 changing rooms. There are like 200 lockers available directly opposite the changing rooms, like 4 feet away. But no, every single changing room is piled high with an entire families worth of random stuff. So much so that you can't sit on the bench or use the hook.

And then if you use the changing room at the moment when they decide they are finished swimming and need their stuff, they get huffy with you for using the changing room so they can't get their bags. If it was one family doing it in one changing room, that would be one thing. But last time we went, it was literally every changing room was filled with people's things, despite many empty lockers available. In the end, I had no where to put my own bag while changing or to sit, so just dumped their stuff on the floor so I could actually use the space. 🙄

One of my friends had endless bother with this, to the point where she took her own fold down chair. She stood up for 10 seconds to grab something and returned to find a child sitting in the chair.

She pointed out to his mum that she had brought her own chair in order to, you know, use it, not for the benefit of the other kids. Mum started arguing about why adults should take priority over kids!

I think swimming pools are where human decency goes to die.

@mindutopia I saw this every time I used to use my local pool - parents shouting at others for dumping their stuff outside the changing rooms they’d “reserved”.

I now use a pool where they have adults only time and it’s so much better, haven’t had a single issue since!

Seriously? You think a fifty year old should sit on the floor instead of a kid.

It amazes me how children are still seen as second class citizens 🙄
It depends a lot on the specific situation though. My 7 year old sits through a swimming lesson and after a day at school and her own swimming yes she's tired and wants to sit and read which I think she's perfectly entitled to do. I dont see why an adult should automatically have more rights to the chair. However, if the child isn't using the chair, it's being used as toy storage, or the child is young enough to sit on a parents lap comfortably, then I don't think they should be taking up a seat whilst others are standing. It also depends what other "seating" is available. At our swimming, the floor is not an option for adults or kids as it's poolside and soaking wet.

Yes @Vinrouge4 I find this point of view very short-sighted and selfish. It’s teaching children that it’s OK to ignore other’s comfort for the sake of your own. And this isn’t a particularly sociable thing to teach your children.

Good manners are essentially considering others’ comfort. And children do need constant socialisation into consideration for others as they can often be quite self-centred. The principle that mostly, children give up seats for adults, stand up when an adult enters the room, ask to “get down” from the table, wait until everyone is served before starting to eat - all these things are about a gradual awareness that the world doesn’t revolve around us.

So if we don’t want a society where it’s accepted that no-one looks out for anyone but themselves, then go ahead. Allow your children to sit in chairs while adults stand. It’s all part of this deep selfishness that’s developed in Britain over the last couple of decades.

I could have written this post ans struggle to stand for ages due to ankle operation I had last year

Others must have felt the same as we got this via email the other day and I could have jumped for joy

So will be asking a child to move

Please could adults use the chairs provided for spectating and encourage siblings to sit on the floor to wait for their lessons. Thank you.

This

The principle that mostly, children give up seats for adults, stand up when an adult enters the room, ask to “get down” from the table, wait until everyone is served before starting to eat

Children standing up when an adult enters the room is just ridiculous - why would they need to do that? Only setting I ever did that in as a child was at school and I thought it was bloody stupid then!

Good manners are essentially considering others’ comfort. And children do need constant socialisation into consideration for others as they can often be quite self-centred. The principle that mostly, children give up seats for adults, stand up when an adult enters the room, ask to “get down” from the table, wait until everyone is served before starting to eat - all these things are about a gradual awareness that the world doesn’t revolve around us.

And yet, plenty of adults who were made to stand up for adults when they were children now seem to think they are entitled to a seat. So they haven't particularly learned the lesson you're talking about.
"Give me your seat so I can teach you that it's entitled to insist on a seat".

My young DDs are put on my lap if someone needs a seat. They're also taught to stand for anyone who needs a seat more than them (we'll all stand if someone needs the seat we're sitting on with them on my lap). But I don't think I'm more entitled to a seat than a 12 year old who was there first, for example. And I'm not really going to teach my children that I am.

Surely the fact that so many healthy adults expect a tired child to stand shows that this kind of thinking hasn't worked? If a healthy adult cannot stand for the duration of a swimming lesson then they are neglecting their physical health. Why should that be something that demands respect and something that children aspire to?

I would like to think that 'look what a good little girl you are, putting yourself through discomfort to please grown ups' is a thinking of the past.

Children need to learn to think of others, but also have healthy boundaries and learn that their needs are also important.

Ofcourse DC that are feeling fine should give up a seat to an adult that is particularly struggling. But it shouldn't be an expectation that adults and their feelings have a higher value.

You don't get the irony in this comment?

@Vinrouge4 Yes, we are older parents. DH is ove 50 and he stands for DC swimming lessons. I am turning 50 this year and I sit on the floor. It's either the floor or standing. I prefer sitting and he prefers standing.

Are you 30 and think 50 year olds are very old?

Wish I was 30. I am a lot older than 50 and would find sitting on the floor very uncomfortable.

They're also taught to stand for anyone who needs a seat more than them (we'll all stand if someone needs the seat we're sitting on with them on my lap).

How do you judge that, though? And why should someone else's comfort be dependent on a 12 year old's judgement?

I'm extremely fit & limber for my age (mid-60s) but even I have a bit of a huff & puff to get up and down from sitting on the floor or the ground.

But most parents with kids in swimming classes aren't in their 60s. Kids go to swimming lessons only up to maybe 12-15. So mostly under 12. Even if you have a child at 45, that will put up late 50s at most.

Most parents with kids in swimming lessons will be in their 30s and 40s. We aren't talking about giving seats to the elderly here.

People saying that 40-50year olds can sit on the floor is a big generalisation. I definitely cannot sit on the ground because I don’t have the strength to get myself up. People cannot see the back ache and numb sensation I have in my thighs if I stand for a few minutes
My children were taught basic manners and would always offer their seat ,hold doors open to other people etc .
Thankfully my Grandchild has been brought up the same way.

I think there’s plenty of places, as people here have even mentioned that signs have been put up in places asking for people to be considerate with the seating, so I don’t think these sorts of thoughts/expectations are out of the ordinary in a lot of situations. Children sit on the floor ALL the time, at nursery and the first years of primary school, it’s very normal that the children sit on the floor for registration and assemblies or circle time or similar, it is literally expected of them to sit and stay on the floor. Whereas it isn’t normal for an adult to turn up to the equivalent (work) and have to sit on the floor? Pretty sure it’s the norm that an office or such like provide chairs? Yes I’m sure there’s certain places/types of jobs that are different or unusual but if you weren’t happy with that you wouldn’t work there. So I don’t thinks it’s abnormal for children to sit on a floor or a lap in this instance. There’s been a lot of mention of ‘tired’ children who should be allowed a seat etc, but if they were that tired they wouldn’t be arsing about getting on/off those seats that could be appreciated more by someone else. It seems it’s those incidences a lot of people on this post are referring to, rather than a ‘blanket’ rule as mentioned by someone else