AIBU Should seating at swimming etc be reserved for adults

[ItsdefnotmeItsyou]

So we go to swimming lessons, the lessons are 45mins long and my 2 children go one after the other, so I’m there for 1hr30mins. There’s 2 lessons at a time in the pool, up to max 8 children per class, but usually about 12/13 total. There aren’t many parents with more than 1 child swimming at a time so usually there are 12/13 or so parents plus some siblings maybe 3-5. There are however only 8/9 chairs. There’s not enough seats for all adults let alone children. More often than not, there are youngish children occupying seats, Or worse, Nintendo switches and such reserving seats that don’t end up sat on for the majority of the lesson. This leaves the adults to stand for 45mins(or in my case potentially 1 1/2 hours-although I can usually get a seat at changeover time if I didn’t have one) or sit on the floor in 1 of only 2 appropriate spaces to do so(some adults don’t mind standing and there are a few that always choose to stand up and watch even if seats are available- that’s their prerogative - I however do suffer with back pain (not that I expect anyone to know that) but that’s my reason for needing/wanting to sit and probably why it annoys me more than if I didn’t have an issue standing) When I have a seat I won’t let my other child occupy a seat unless it is clear no adult wishes to sit there (rarely) and even then if an adult is after a seat I will let them have it. We have also just changed which day we swim so encountered a whole different set of parents and the situation is exactly the same. AIBU to think this is just rude and inconsiderate? Or should children still have priority on a first come basis?

Sit in your car? Seems like the best solution to the space issue.

Switch to swimming lessons at a pool where they have sufficient seating? You have a bad back, so that should factor into your decision of where to go for swimming lessons.

Agree, adults trumping kids is a thing of the past. I'd just get there a bit earlier personally or as you suggest, just speak up.

Entitled or what. Kids can sit on the floor or 'if young and tired' on parent's knee. It's no wonder so many kids are entitled brats.

Arguably it's the (able bodied) adults insisting they take priority who are entitled.

I think young children should sit on parents' laps, and I would always put my young DDs on my lap. But I don't really see why, say, a 12 year old should give me their seat just because I'm an adult.
I wouldn't give them my seat, so I don't think children take priority either.
Is it entitled for a child to remain seated, but not entitled for an adult to do so?

Seats should be offered/requested based on need, not age.

It would be such a shame if those noisy gadgets in the changing room were to get very wet!

No one knows you have back pain. I am late 40s and I don’t need a seat. I think young children needs it more than me. So YABVU.

As for offering seats to older adults as some PP suggested. I doubt the OP is very old with kids still at swimming classes. I will be very offended if a kid offer their seat to me because they think I am elderly. I don’t think it’s normal to offer a seat to an older person unless they look frail. More like over 70.

Can't you just go wait in the car?

Yes the floor is suitable-I sit on it if I have to, there’s also no shoes inside whatsoever and not just after the changing rooms which helps with the cleanliness-one of the reasons I did like this pool. There is an initial cloakroom area, Then the seating area and then there is a waist height glass barrier which leads to the changing rooms and pool. No other rooms/areas in the building. At the time of signing up, I didn’t know there would be 2 classes at once/as many children per class so 8/9 seats didn’t seem an issue. Its actually quite pleasant when for whatever reason there’s less children for a lesson, I.e in school holidays when people go away(it’s year round lessons not just term time) It’s a purpose built ground level swimming school pool. The instructors teach from the edge of the pool not in the water, strange I know, and admittedly not my ideal situation, but unfortunately I was/am VERY limited for options around here. We were swimming with a different swim instructor who used a privately rented pool but they moved location to a private school pool and honestly knowing the cost people pay for tuition the pool building was disgusting!! It also lacked space/seating (although they actually had signs that the seats were primarily for adults) it had less seats than this new place and more swimmers. There is just no availability in my area for suitable swimming lessons that tick all/most of the boxes, I’ve been on a waiting list for my top choice for 3 years, we’ve done school holiday intensive courses there when available but can’t get into the weekly lessons as their waitlist is so long. It’s also obviously trying to get lessons for 2 different abilities/ages at appropriate times outside of our working hours. This was literally the only option that suited in terms of times, location (it’s still a 20+ minute drive) and had space to start etc. and I just thought it was more important that my children learnt to swim, we’d already been delayed by Covid as swimming everywhere obviously stopped for a while and then there was a backlog to get in anywhere.
I think the reason you can’t leave is mostly because It’s not in a leisure centre type place where there’s extra lifeguards/staff etc in addition to the instructors for emergencies or anything. They are def fully DBS checked and qualified etc, it is a proper swim school, They have a handful of pools around the country. I guess It’s probably just an extra precaution for them, and tbf I don’t have a problem with that rule at all. My youngest wouldn’t want me to leave, so a pool where you couldn’t stay would have been a no go anyway. Can’t win tbh. Also, the thing I like about this is it’s 45 minute lessons. I felt like with the half hour ones, by the time they get started it’s over, and the effort of changing and drying etc before and after also feels more worthwhile if that makes sense.

I would never ask a child to move so I could sit down

I don't think more than one seat per swimmer so if a child has one their parent should stand.

No, but i think it's unreasonable to expect children to stand on the off chance an adult might want to sit down. OP needs to act like an adult and ask for the switch to be moved / explain she has difficulty standing for extended periods. I say this as someone with degenerative disc disease.

Take a foldable chair to grantee a seat

Just move the stuff and sit down! If you are challenged say there are a limited number of seats and If someone was genuinely sitting here before me and had popped to the loo or something I'll move when they get back.

I can't believe people will watch people stand for a 45 min class to reserve a seat they don't need to. Why have people become so bloody selfish!

I'd also ask the pool to ask parents not to save seats due to the limited number.

Oh I wish it was as easy as just switching, there is literally no other availability/suitable availability within at least 30 minutes or so, honestly I genuinely tried everywhere near here. I live in the West Country. The nearest city, which I’m sure would have more abundance of availability, would take me about 45/50 minutes if not more to get to, so that immediately limits what swim times we could sign up for after school/work. Factor in the additional driving time-being sat in a car for more than twice as long each way, so it being a longer evening, then kids having dinner late by the time we finally get home (that’s assuming the kids have lessons at the same time or one after the other with no waiting in between) is that any less painful/exhausting than standing up for a lesson every now and again if I have to, no, probably not worth it tbh. I didn’t think the seating was an issue at the time of signing up. We had a trial/assessment lesson which wasn’t as busy and I thought that was how it was set up. Not sure if they increased due to demand but it’s def fuller than I expected it to be and, also, my back pain wasn’t as acute as it currently is tbh so was less of a factor last year.

Surely the average adult is more capable of standing than a young child who has likely had a day at school and often a swimming lesson? Surely that's why children need to go to bed before adults? As they get more tired. I'd imagine most adults with young DC without health issues are just as capable at sitting on the floor? Maybe join the gym to work on mobility whilst DC is swimming of not?

@taxfreechild i have asked before when I’ve arrived, if a seat with a console or drink or whatever on it is free before, if I’ve been told someone is siting there, how am I to know they genuinely aren’t just in the loo or something, sometimes someone comes back quickly, sometimes (more so in summer) it was a slightly older kid just chilling outside for example, so came back after a while but didn’t really make full use of the seat, so someone else could have, but by that point half the time is gone, if I’ve been told it’s taken I’m not going to ignore that and sit anyway, that’s rude. Also plenty of times where I’ve actually had a seat, but there’s still empty reserved seats or toddlers up and down or whatever and I still think that’s selfish even though it doesn’t affect me. I obviously don’t expect any/every child to stand just in case an adult wanted to sit, I just think in some circumstances people should be more aware of their surroundings, it’s certain ones that wander on and off or could be sat on a lap etc, I’m aware of other people so my 5 yo sits on my lap or at my feet, my eldest sits in the cloakroom out of the way (his choice and it’s glass I can still see him) I don’t let my children unnecessarily take up a space that someone else wants to sit in, I don’t want that done to me so I’m not expecting something that I wouldn’t do for others. It’s not so much a blanket expectation or anything, it’s very circumstantial tbh. There is also a small ledge at the base of the glass barrier. Plenty of kids sit/stand/perch on here, it’s just not high enough/deep enough for an adult to sit. That also goes some way to feeling like why the littler kids can’t prop themselves on here where plenty do but adults can’t

I would sit a small child on my lap if needs be. If it’s an older child, first come, first served (unless there’s a disabled / elderly person in need)

I'd sit in the car and wait if my back was in pain and I'd put the heated seat on too. Also listen to some music while I wait.

@sunflowerdaisyrose i think that’s the sort of thing subconsciously factored into my opinion and thought process. Where does it end when someone brings their nan and their dog to watch the kids swim 🤷🏼‍♀️ lol. On 2 occasions when DH has been able to come to the kids swimming lesson to see how they’re getting on, he happily stood so as not to take the seat from someone

@caringcarer unfortunately can’t. Can’t leave the building, have to stay with the littles

It's been a good while since I've been to swimming lessons. But I would always expect kids to give up their seat. One of mine has a disability and can't stand, but they are perfectly capable of sitting on the floor.
I'm not quite understanding the whole kids are tired too arguments.

But in the OP's place I'd be speaking to the organisers and mentioning the lack of seating and the Switch hogging seats.

Apologies I’m quite new to this posting/replying/@ ing business, just getting the hang of replying -thought I had been replying to specific comments, don’t think I had 🤦🏽‍♀️ just found the “quote” option which I thought the reply button should do 🤦🏽‍♀️ think I’ve got it now 🤷🏼‍♀️

YABU

My young nephews have hyper mobility and dyspraxia leading to significant pain.

The needs of adults dont trump those of children.

Well if an adult asked for his seat they could be told he needs it.In general in this pool situation the chairs are for adults and children can sit on the floor. I would not expect an adult to stand while kids are seated. If they are that tired after school then they should be home in bed.