AIBU Should seating at swimming etc be reserved for adults

[ItsdefnotmeItsyou]

So we go to swimming lessons, the lessons are 45mins long and my 2 children go one after the other, so I’m there for 1hr30mins. There’s 2 lessons at a time in the pool, up to max 8 children per class, but usually about 12/13 total. There aren’t many parents with more than 1 child swimming at a time so usually there are 12/13 or so parents plus some siblings maybe 3-5. There are however only 8/9 chairs. There’s not enough seats for all adults let alone children. More often than not, there are youngish children occupying seats, Or worse, Nintendo switches and such reserving seats that don’t end up sat on for the majority of the lesson. This leaves the adults to stand for 45mins(or in my case potentially 1 1/2 hours-although I can usually get a seat at changeover time if I didn’t have one) or sit on the floor in 1 of only 2 appropriate spaces to do so(some adults don’t mind standing and there are a few that always choose to stand up and watch even if seats are available- that’s their prerogative - I however do suffer with back pain (not that I expect anyone to know that) but that’s my reason for needing/wanting to sit and probably why it annoys me more than if I didn’t have an issue standing) When I have a seat I won’t let my other child occupy a seat unless it is clear no adult wishes to sit there (rarely) and even then if an adult is after a seat I will let them have it. We have also just changed which day we swim so encountered a whole different set of parents and the situation is exactly the same. AIBU to think this is just rude and inconsiderate? Or should children still have priority on a first come basis?

This. I think most people wouldn't really mind that much if a tired child was sitting down. I also suffer from back pain when standing for long periods but I don't think I deserve a seat anymore than anyone else including children.
However I do get irked when in situations where there are no seats available and children who are meant to be sitting in the seat are anywhere but.
I see this on the tube a lot. Child is sitting for 10 seconds. Gets up and stands in front of mum to ask something. Sits back down. Gets up to swing round the pole a few times. Sits back down. Gets straight up to try "tube surf" as it's fun. Perches on edge of seat for a bit while having a quick drink. Then back up again swinging round the pole. Then off to chat to dad opposite and look at his phone.
The seat ends up empty more often then not while lots of adults like me with back ache stand up.

I have asked if seats with items on is free in the past with varying success, sometimes they’ve not realised apologised and moved the stuff to let me sit, other times I was told that someone’s sitting there, sometimes someone does, other times no one has, but by then it’s too late 🤷🏼‍♀️ what can you do at that point

@Pottedpalm as the mum of a competitive swimmer I spend many hours hanging around different pools and often find lovely walks near by (although I admit Crawley was a challenge). OP does not actually say what time lessons are and presumably child has swimming lessons all year round so an afternoon/evening walk is not out of the realms of possibility at some point.

YABU a child is just as entitled to a seat as an adult. I don’t think you are being unreasonable though if it’s the kid’s stuff taking up the seats. But in those cases I’d just move the stuff and sit there.

Unfortunately, there’s not really space to bring a chair, it’s a narrow galley type area and the standing spots are in front of the seats and in front of the door and pool access so the constant need to let people past, so a chair plonked anywhere else would be very in the way, even a pop up stool type would not be suitable, I’d rather struggle than be an inconvenience tbh, no space for extra pool chairs as they’re already against the wall edge to edge and these are fold up chairs as it is, it’s a bit poorly designed for a purpose built teaching pool tbh. the floor ‘seats/spaces’ are basically squished in between a column and a chair and a column and the door against the wall, so space wise very awkward, not a lot of adults resort to this tbh, but for me only option other than standing.
Cant even leave the building and sit outside/in the car, not allowed to leave the swimmer unattended unfortunately.

This really

We had all that! 😡 Then changed to a different pool where there were more seats available in the viewing area, which initially seemed great. Except the front row of seats was always occupied by parents who read books/emails and blocked the view for parents who wanted to watch their dc.

You are unreasonable to suggest such a blanket policy. However, able bodied children should be taught that it is good manners to stand up and offer their seat to an older adult. Children usually have no problem sitting on the floor or on a lap, and that is an obvious solution where seating is limited but there is enough space.

Entitled or what. Kids can sit on the floor or 'if young and tired' on parent's knee. It's no wonder so many kids are entitled brats.

And that goes for all the others talking about poor tired children.

I'm sorry, children sit on a parents knee or on the floor.

it’s mostly the younger ones maybe that make me feel this way perhaps, not expecting older kids/teens to move. It’s more the kids that can sit on a lap or sit at a parents feet leaning against their legs without being in the way, either of these is what my 5 year old does and he doesn’t have a problem with it. I’m not even saying overall in life adult trumps kids when it comes to seats, can’t say it’s ever even crossed my mind on a tube journey or anything, I think some of my issue is just the particular situation/space/incidents at this particular pool maybe, it’s hard to explain the space. think it’s a couple of particular incidences, the times of kids not staying seated, reserved seats that don’t actually then get used etc that have irked me from the start

Actually yes, I was thinking of slightly older children but for younger ones I think the parent should sit them on their lap if there are others standing.

I just don’t understand some peoples thought processes sometimes. On 1 occasion (I already had a seat so admittedly didnt affect me that time but i was still baffled) there was a parent and child each sat on a seat in the far corner and she had moved the next chair in front of the child to lean her activity book or whatever on. Think it must have been in the school holidays as it def wasn’t as busy as usual. A couple of people did seem to wander that way looking for an empty seat but just didn’t ask, think the 3rd or 4th person made specific contact about the chair at which point she gave it up, otherwise she clearly wasn’t going to. if it was me, not that I’d do that anyway let alone in the space that it is, I’d just be hyper aware of anyone wanting to sit and freely offering it to anyone that glanced my way possibly looking for a seat 🤷🏼‍♀️

Elderly, pregnant, disabled first, then adults, then kids.

Kids don't automatically come after able bodied adults.

I said YANBU but only when

• 'things' not people are in the seat.
• toddlers have a seat who could easily sit on their parent's knee.

Ideally, if children are small enough to share a seat they should, go free up seats for adults, but no, adults shouldn't automatically have priority over a child.

Is the floor actually suitable to sit on? At our pool the floor area is always quite wet from people walking back and forth from the pool. Its really not a surface you'd suggest children sit on.

I would usually expect younger children to sit on a parents lap but children old enough to be playing on a games console suggests school age - really heavy and uncomfy for a parent to have on their lap for 45 minutes.

I'd suggest really you need to talk to the pool about lack of seating. Do they actually welcome parents watching? It may be the lack of seating is because they'd prefer you to leave and come back at the end of the lesson. When i was a child in the 90s parents never watched swimming lessons from the poolside!!

If someone leaned a book on a chair i would simply walk over and say "i need that seat to sit on".

^This. Take your own chair or speak to management to say there are not enough chairs.

I would ask sweetly 'Has your Switch got a sore back? Because I've got a sore back and I'd like to sit down please.'

Cant even leave the building and sit outside/in the car, not allowed to leave the swimmer unattended unfortunately.

This would be the basis for a complaint to the pool that they aren't providing enough seating for parents to stay.

Are you sure these are proper teachers & school age kids? Ive never come across swimming lessons that dont have DBS checked teachers and require parents poolside. Is there any other seating area in the building but away from the poolside where you can wait? It doesnt feel like a proper set up, I'd look for a normal leisure centre with a cafe where you can wait.

I’d also be tempted to buy one of those fold up chairs that slide into a cover you can carry and take that.

If there is something on the chair, not a person, just move it and sit there.
Ask the organisers to provide more chairs. It's not acceptable to have to stand for 1.5 hours for no reason. Mention your back issues as well.

Neither do they have less need.

Chairs are for whichever person got to them first.

Generally parents move children that are small enough to sit on their laps if they are able to.