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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Were these gifts shoplifted? Or just really old?

179 replies

PamFritters · 09/01/2024 17:46

I have posted before about my SIL and her over gifting at Xmas and birthdays. It’s often clothes, very rarely anything I would wear. I usually take to a charity shop but this year I decided to be a bit more frugal and return them for credit. All had price tags on, various shops but today I took the Next and M&S ones in as I was near.

All of it scanned and came up. But all of it came up as ‘not sold/no sales record’. Oh and all the Next ones were coming up as £3. The lady in Next said she had worked there for 4 years and didn’t recognise any of the items. Basically they are either a) nicked or b) older than the system.

I think this might finally be the push I need to tell her to stop giving me clothes I don’t want, because she’s either stolen them or had hanging around with tags on in her wardrobe for five years. I’ve spent the last 20 years being subtle and it clearly doesn’t work.

I’m not being unreasonable to think these are weird gifts, right?

At the risk of being completely outing, our husbands are ID twins and she gives DH clothes that are HUGE. He wears size S and she gives him t shirts in XXL for example. It’s all so weird. Why does she do it? Any guesses welcome.

OP posts:
Grammarnut · 22/01/2024 12:55

Brutalass · 11/01/2024 07:22

I get your frustration - my MIL and cousin's wife buy some absolute crap for all of us. The clothes that we've had for us and the kids have had us all in absolute stitches. We gave up taking them back to the stores where they supposedly came from a long time ago.

I get that some people buy things from charity shops and re-gift (both perfectly acceptable - if they're done on a low budget with thought, but not by family members who a incredibly wealthy - considerably wealthier than yourselves). I can remember one year I spent a small fortune gifting perfect presents to my MIL and cousin's family and spending money I could ill afford and wrapping them all beautifully, and the gifts we received in return - were laughable. I was offered £1 in one of the stores for something for my daughter, but otherwise nothing would be accepted and none either fit or were remotely suitable. I had to politely tell them both to please not buy my children clothes and that they really didn't have to buy them gifts, if they were struggling to find something suitable because they didn't really know my children!!

It's so damn awkward with family - but hey .... approach with caution!

I buy gifts in charity shops, vintage sales, antique stalls etc. I choose with care. I am not poor (probably richer than you) but economy, careful choosing of gifts, and the buying of gifts over the year are wise and sensible things. I give with love and affection, as I receive. And the thought I give to my charity, vintage and antique purchases is maybe greater than much new gifting of expensive gifts which have no feeling attached. Better a dinner of herbs and love therein, than the stalled ox and hatred, is a true saying. Accept what you are given with a good grace. If you do not like it or it does not suit you, re-gift with thoughtful care, or put it in a cupboard only to be brought out when the giver is around.

Grammarnut · 02/02/2024 10:31

Bahhhhhhhumbug · 10/01/2024 09:22

I got a gift of a pair of pyjama shorts one year from my sister - no top.

Anyway, they didn’t fit so I took them back to M&S and explained they were a gift from my sister, no receipt.

Shop assistant said laughing ‘does your sister not like you?’

Said they had no record of them being sold however they were last being sold years earlier reduced to just £1.

So she’s either giving you stuff she hasn’t worn or as others have said? Charity shops/outlets

What is wrong in purchasing gifts from charity shops or in sales, or vintage items? I almost always source gifts from those places because I am likely to find items that are a little out of the way.

Grammarnut · 02/02/2024 17:09

To be honest, OP, if you don't like the gifts, then re-gift them and say thank you nicely. Honestly, you'd think the world had come to an end because you do not like Christmas gifts. Worse things happen at sea!

Forgottenmypasswordagain · 04/04/2024 00:04

Just donate unwanted clothing to a shelter, people often arrive with nothing but what they are wearing.

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