Were these gifts shoplifted? Or just really old?

[PamFritters]

I have posted before about my SIL and her over gifting at Xmas and birthdays. It’s often clothes, very rarely anything I would wear. I usually take to a charity shop but this year I decided to be a bit more frugal and return them for credit. All had price tags on, various shops but today I took the Next and M&S ones in as I was near.

All of it scanned and came up. But all of it came up as ‘not sold/no sales record’. Oh and all the Next ones were coming up as £3. The lady in Next said she had worked there for 4 years and didn’t recognise any of the items. Basically they are either a) nicked or b) older than the system.

I think this might finally be the push I need to tell her to stop giving me clothes I don’t want, because she’s either stolen them or had hanging around with tags on in her wardrobe for five years. I’ve spent the last 20 years being subtle and it clearly doesn’t work.

I’m not being unreasonable to think these are weird gifts, right?

At the risk of being completely outing, our husbands are ID twins and she gives DH clothes that are HUGE. He wears size S and she gives him t shirts in XXL for example. It’s all so weird. Why does she do it? Any guesses welcome.

Would they not have security tags on if they'd been shoplifted?

My aunt received a skirt from another niece. It wasnt her style so she decided to take it to M&S for a refund. Like the OP is turned out to be years old. The assistant told my aunt that it was probably sold in a charity shop with tags on.

All of those things are perfectly fine.
Doing those things with an item that the recipient is never going to like or wear or want is weird. Shirts that are 4 sizes too big??? For a man who is an extremely similar size to your own DH? That’s not normal behaviour.

@fairymary87

Why is it not true? I actually missed in the OP that it did show up as not having been sold.

Also, why are you laughing at me? If you want to say I am wrong then explain it don't act like a child and laugh at me for being wrong.

I don’t think you understand how barcodes work. Barcodes are specific to the item line - all of that style top in that size has the same barcode.

A barcode can not tell you if an item has or hasn’t been legally purchased. It can only tell you if that particular store sells it or not.

Coming up “not marked as sold” is going to mean the barcode isn’t valid at that store. I.E. its outlet stock (both M&S and Next make lines purely for outlet), or it’s past sale items, or very old stock.

I reckon the reason she gives you such random stuff is that she gets it from charity shops and is very limited in choice because she needs it to still have the tags on so it looks like it's new. Or she gets it very cheap in the Jan sales and saves it for the following year - that is why everything for your DH is XXL because that is the size that is often really reduced in the sales.

@RandomButtons

NEXT barcodes are individual to each item.

Bit of a leap to shoplifting. Most likely she bought them from an outlet.

Well that shows you it’s been a while since I worked in retail!

I don’t think YOU understand how barcodes work…

Next and M&S have the magic barcodes that are unique to each single item.

When you return stuff you’ve bought online to a Next store they scan it and and it immediately credits to your account. You don’t even tell them your details. It blows my little mind every time.

i only found out today that M&S is the same.

Both stores told me the items were either nicked or very old as they were showing on the system as items not paid for (I can’t remember the exact phrasing).

I think if they were given to a charity shop directly they would be magic barcoded as such? Maybe?

The XXL thing makes total sense.

My guess is that she might have bought some of them several years ago, or else bought them from a charity shop with the tags still on them.

People end up with still-tagged clothes for all sorts of reasons. One October, my mother bought me a summer dress on sale, thinking I could wear it the next summer. As it turned out, I was pregnant the next summer, and I never could wear it afterwards because my bra size seems to have changed permanently. So I gave it to a thrift store (which I think is more or less what you in the UK call a charity shop).

If she shoplifted then surely she’d take the right sizes

I expect they're just old. I sometimes buy old stock from ebay, bnwt.
I wouldn't bother telling her to stop gifting them tbh. Some people do like the ritual of giving gifts and don't think about whether they're appropriate. She's probably just happy that she's ticked off her gift list and there's no point creating a drama if you don't really need to. I'd just sell them on Vinted or just charity shop if you're not bothered about the money.

Ooh that’s new.

in that case don’t jump to she stole them. It’s possible, but she might be buying them off Vinted/marketplace/Nora round the back of the pub

Perhaps she thinks jeans and gym wear are a bit boring and wants to liven you up? Do you ever try them on btw? My DiL gives clothes, often from Next, M and S etc and DD does too (I have a Joules skirt she bought and then didn't like, it's okay with a bright jumper and I wear skirts all the time except when doing something energetic where skirts get in the way). DiL's stuff is nice, mostly second-hand or hand-me-downs from her (usually gives to her DM) and I wear them unless they don't fit (never given me something I really hate, occasionally something I think 'well, that will be okay for round the house' or 'ok with jeans'). People have odd views on presents. I suspect what I give would seem odd to some.

There’s a Next and Marks & Spencer in my local outlet shopping centre, which tends to have odd sizes of old stock at heavily reduced prices? Maybe she stops there?

Meant to quote this in my reply where I said the XXL thing made total sense. Still learning how Mumsnet works.

My mum received a gift from her brother years ago that she took back to m&s and they said it hadn't been sold for more than 5 years! That was the impetus that she needed to have the conversation about stopping gifts!

Charity shop near me ( Scope I think) has half new stock, all with tags. Excess/ old stock donated by stores. Usually a lot of M&S jeans.

How exactly?

A barcode is for the item, colour, size etc, not for each item on its own
(See my next post before telling me Im wrong 😃😃😃)

Outlet centres with next and M&S, there’s one near me. The clothes are usually from the season before or made just for the outlet, not so many sizes as usual. You cannot return to a standard store as will show as not from there, I did this in error before without realising.

No WAY!!!! sorry @sondot how wrong was I!!!

Perhaps she thinks jeans and gym wear are a bit boring and wants to liven you up?

It’s really shitty to give people gifts you think will ‘improve’ them rather than gifts they will actually like. It’s bad enough getting given shit you won’t ever use but even worse when it comes with a side order of “I know best” from the giver. Ugh.

Retail staff wouldn't tell you they thought an item was stolen,"magic barcode" or not. It seems you just wanted to prove something bad of this woman by showing her up. Unlikely you would be successful returning the item anyway, with no receipt.

We had trouble enough returning a man's item in early Jan. It had been a gift my H received from M and S. The bar code tag was removed on the packaging and at first they were unwilling to exchange. They used to be able to scan the bar code on the label of the item but seemingly that is not a thing now?