Were these gifts shoplifted? Or just really old?

[PamFritters]

I have posted before about my SIL and her over gifting at Xmas and birthdays. It’s often clothes, very rarely anything I would wear. I usually take to a charity shop but this year I decided to be a bit more frugal and return them for credit. All had price tags on, various shops but today I took the Next and M&S ones in as I was near.

All of it scanned and came up. But all of it came up as ‘not sold/no sales record’. Oh and all the Next ones were coming up as £3. The lady in Next said she had worked there for 4 years and didn’t recognise any of the items. Basically they are either a) nicked or b) older than the system.

I think this might finally be the push I need to tell her to stop giving me clothes I don’t want, because she’s either stolen them or had hanging around with tags on in her wardrobe for five years. I’ve spent the last 20 years being subtle and it clearly doesn’t work.

I’m not being unreasonable to think these are weird gifts, right?

At the risk of being completely outing, our husbands are ID twins and she gives DH clothes that are HUGE. He wears size S and she gives him t shirts in XXL for example. It’s all so weird. Why does she do it? Any guesses welcome.

I love how confidently wrong people are about the barcodes. Next have been using this system for a while now.

My first thought was Vinted/eBay OP. I think some people get a thrill out of giving gifts regardless of whether the receiver actually likes them. It’s all about their joy in giving. This sounds like that.

I think that means they bought them from an outlet. I did similar with an awful nightie my mil bought me. Not on the system - had tags etc

Just say 'Shall we skip presents next year and all go for a meal instead?' Much less hassle than all this worrying and traipsing to Next for £3 refunds.

I bet she filters for "new with tags" on Vinted.

My dad's brother used to give him library books..Actual ones in circulation, not withdrawn.

90% of stuff I donate to charity is unworn and has tags on it.

Came to say this 🤣 I want to see it!

OP, I’d either suggest you don’t buy presents for each other anymore, due to cost of living and you really don’t need anything else, decluttering etc.

Or you could suggest a family Secret Santa, and try and engineer it so she doesn’t get you or DH 😂😂

Surely if you returned it to Next though and they did the scan it would credit the person's account who bought it so you wouldn't get the credit anyway?

Both stores told me the items were either nicked or very old as they were showing on the system as items not paid for (I can’t remember the exact phrasing).

Then why are you asking here? Do you want advice on what to do with unwanted gifts that you cannot return for a refund (give them away or sell on Vinted), or how to ask your SIL not to give you gifts (very hard to do politely)?

I buy new clothes with labels on on Vinted.

It's not 100% been robbed actually. I left a long period before taking something back to M&S due to covid and not wanting to go into stores. I thought as they still sold it I could go in and take it back but their new tills said it hasn't been sold. Luckily I produced the proof of purchase. It was because it was purchased before they put the new till system in.

Sorry @noooooooo but the funeral director comparison did make me laugh - sounds like you are describing me 😂

If she bought them outside of England they wouldn't be registered on any of their systems. For example if she bought them in Ireland.

Doesn't explain or justify buying XXL for someone who wears S.

Well I bought a top for my son in next outlet, I took it back as it didn't fit and they said there was no sales record...it only had been a month tops since I bought it....🤣, it was really weird but I hadn't kept the receipt....

Re M&S - this happened to me - someone had sent me something from M&S as a gift - they'd ordered it online and had it sent to my
address. Problem was, they sent me something I already had and when I went to exchange it, it came up as 'not sold in store' or something like that and the shop assistant pretty much accused me of stealing. Embarrassing! Why things ordered online aren't scanned so when these things happen they know, is beyond me! And they don't put the paper receipt things in the delivery bag any more! Nuisance! So for this reason I've stopped ordering things from M&S online that are for gifts - I'd be mortified if my relatives/friends wenr to take something back and had been told it was stolen!

I think if it's been bought in a store, the barcode on the item registers it - shop assistant told me this. So if you then take it back/return it, it's logged in some shape on that bar code. When this happened to me and I went to take something back it was recorded as not sold or something...the barcode was valid as I took it back within a few weeks or receiving it (from M&S online). You'll have to read my other post for this to make sense!

She probably buys stuff all year from the outlets

@fedupandstuck

Next have the only system that does this . It's very clever ..

M and s yes qr coded and bar codes but I don't think have the same tech as next as they designed and patented it .. they may of course have sold it to them

Definitely Vinted. They often have tags on.

I got a gift of a pair of pyjama shorts one year from my sister - no top.

Anyway, they didn’t fit so I took them back to M&S and explained they were a gift from my sister, no receipt.

Shop assistant said laughing ‘does your sister not like you?’

Said they had no record of them being sold however they were last being sold years earlier reduced to just £1.

So she’s either giving you stuff she hasn’t worn or as others have said? Charity shops/outlets

@RandomButtons it can do exactly this in next .. very clever tech

My guess would be old stock off vinted

Re-gift them to her and her family next Christmas.

@AuroraForever I agree with you.
I've been broke & bought things cheaply in sales & saved them for Christmas. Really nice things, not tat, but embarrassing if people returned them. Luckily I no longer have to do that (sales are awful nowadays anyway!)
But yes, please consider that maybe relatives CAN'T afford to buy you what you'd ideally like.
@PamFritters Bit of a leap to consider the gifts had been stolen!! Assisatnts have no right to surmise that we are dishonest.

Yes NEXT barcodes are individual , that’s why when you take returns back you don’t have to take the reciept from the online delivery etc , it comes up that particular item was sent to you , it’s brilliant !