to be freaked out by how much our faces change between 45 - 55 years old?

[tallowspa]

I'm just back from visiting a friend in the flesh I haven't seen since 2019. It was really lovely to see her but she was very down about her looks and how much she feels her face has changed in the past few years as she is now 53. I think she still looks amazing but she does look different now. She is 7 years older than me and the last time we were together you wouldn't have thought she was older at all but now the age difference was visible.

I work with women of all ages and one woman in her late 50's keeps saying how she looked good and like herself up until she was about 51 then within a year her face, skin and body changed and now she has just had to get used to never really feeling happy about how she looks or like herself.

Even looking at photos of actresses with all the surgeons and treatments at their disposal you see the same changes so I don't think it is something you can really escape, its inevitable and natural.

It just freaks me out though, I am 46 and still look like myself and I finally feel happy with how I look probably for the first time in my life but I know that over the next decade my face will change and probably not for the better.

I'm not on about looking young, or attractive and I know that aging is a privilege and that the alternative to aging is death but I still feel so freaked out my how much our faces seem to change at this time of life, menopause I suppose. I am on HRT (since I was 42) and that probably helps but obviously it isn't a miracle worker and these changes still occur.

I don't mind going grey or getting lines on my face its everything else and how our faces seem to fundamentally alter that freaks me out!

Haven’t read all the thread but I am 48 and am feeling happier with how my face looks recently, probably because I’ve been exercising more, getting more toned and my face is less round. Although maybe it will all go wrong very soon!

@Crikeyalmighty
I take starflower oil for dry eyes. The eye hospital couldn't do anything as I make plenty of tears but not enough oil in the glands around the eyes to keep them properly moist. The starflower oil takes around 6 weeks to kick in but really works. Now I just need a magic pill to lift my jowls....

I get it yes. I'm in my 50s, and until maybe 5 years ago I don't think I looked old. In photos from my 40s I look fine, and like me. Now I look like someone's granny, and it's depressing.

It's not really about wanting to look young, or attractive, but about negative changes. Of course, it goes hand in hand with the other negative aspects of getting older, such as approaching retirement, being less able physically, struggling against agism in the job market.

When I was 25, 35, maybe 45, I felt young and optimistic. Now life seems to be a downhill slide.

This. 100%!!!

You do realise you looked different when you were a kid too right op?

I always looked young for my age, and in my teens it drove me mad. I'm in my early 70s, now, and, thankfully my hair is still red (but fading slowly). Long Covid and no exercise has taken my weight up to 55 kilo - not heavy, I know, but now my waist has thickened and my bottom has drooped. If my jaw hadn't plunged south as well, it wouldn't be such a shock when I look in the mirror. BUT I'm going to be positive about it all, be thankful nothing has actually dropped off yet - and start the facial exercises. Thanks to the poster who recommended them!

Lol, although perhaps there really is some bowel related horrors to come I just don't know about 😂

I agree although I do understand of course, its a very triggering subject for lots of women even if they deny it.

I understand how you feel, OP. You don’t have to throw your hands up and accept wrinkling, sagging etc if that’s not what you want.

Im only 42 so still doing well, but I pray every day to age like my mom. At almost 66 she is still looking supple, has one barely noticeable line, no jowl and no turkey neck.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to age well.

What do you do if you don't want to gracefully accept the natural aging process of developing wrinkles and skin losing elasticity?

You are not unreasonable OP! I am also not looking forward to my face falling off a cliff in a few years.I am in full peri- meno. So when I am not freaking out about my knees and ankles swelling up like grapefruits - I try to find some solace in the Pagan concept of Maiden, Mother, Crone. I know nothing about paganism but came across the concept in an article featuring Frances McDormand a few years ago- bloody legend of a woman, and it really stuck with me. She was arguing that she is looking forward to her crone phase and that we need to push back on this idea - a thoroughly modern concept - that women fade into obscurity in older age. As a previous poster has argued - fuck that. The crone phase embodies the wisdom gained from passing through the other two stages. She is confident, courageous and fiercely independent. Everything she needs is within her. I plan on being a a crazy, kick ass crone. With a fabulous wardrobe!

There are many treatments, lotions, potions, exercise, sleep etc available to help you achieve the best outcome. Whichever works best for you.

The women I know who look their best in older years are either blessed with good skin, or they find what looks good on them and stick with it- hair, clothes etc and are mindful of what they eat, drink and take good care of their skin.

OP, I hear you. Those that don't care about aging: good for you. Some of us find that our faces not only don't look like us, but portray a different mood to how we feel. I have always looked younger than my age but suddenly when I reached my late 50s and turned 60 I looked much older than I felt. I exercise 4-5 times a week and my face didn't match my body. I looked miserable.

I get Botox on the elevens between my brows at they make me look angry. Rest of the forehead is completely mobile and mildly lined. My skin is really good, even better since I started Tret for pigmentation, but my face had sagged so that I had deep naso-labial and marionette lines. I had hyaluronic acid cheek filler and later jaw filler which replaced the lost volume, lifted the face and virtually erased the lines.

It looks really natural as it's simply replacing what I have lost, same as dying my roots. I haven't felt this confident in years. I will never look young again but I look like the best version of me now and am happy with what I see in the mirror.

Op I totally agree I'm shocked at the ladies I work with I noted the huge difference after covid how much some had literally turned aged from being early 50s.

I like my face.

No man is telling me to like my face I like it and getting older is scary yes.

@MadKittenWoman seeing as your up on it all where did you go to get that advice please..

Eg filler for there...something for here?

Pm me if necessary also have you any advice on dropping eyelids

@Emtwizzle love crone 🤣🤣😍🙏

My face was ageing well until the ravages of Bells' Palsy and hypothyroidism. I am still me, though, and just shrug it off. At the end of the day it's not how we look that's important, it's who we are.

The first bite is with the eyes…. We judge everything we see. You notice aging - life moving on. Don’t beat yourself for noticing! But if you want to look at yourself in the mirror and be happy you will need to adjust your mindset. I’m in my 50s and my face has changed - but I refuse to accept it is for the worse. Every wrinkle is a blessing. If you say something often enough you start to believe it. Stop the negative self talk - it won’t turn back the hands of time.

God yes the bloody one drooping eyelid! If anyone has any advice on that one please share, I've been fannying about with a gua sha and that hasn't helped, neither has my crows feet and forehead Botox.

What does everyone mean? How do they change? I'm 41, had crows feet for many years. Now got saggy eyelids, jowels and lines elsewhere but I think I still look like me .. what other changes will happen then?

God yes the bloody one drooping eyelid! If anyone has any advice on that one please share, I've been fannying about with a gua sha and that hasn't helped, neither has my crows feet and forehead Botox.

It wasn't caused by the botox was it? Sometimes that can happen, but I think it possibly can be fixed.

Hear hear

No, it just seems to be a creeping age thing, like there's an extra wrinkle of skin in there now. It's actually a bit annoyingly uncomfortable.

This with knobs on. Just be!

The irony of course is that at the moment, the young women who truly are at their most sexually attractive (as biology has dictated in their fertile years) are buggering up their looks with pouty lip fillers, slug eyebrows and other artificial means, instead of enjoying this phase of being.

All this is led by commerce - by beauticians and manufacturers of cosmetics etc. and surgeons who have a vested interest in making sure we think that only youth is beautiful; and in dictating what the definition of beauty should be.

Come on - don't fall for all this. Do not be like sheep.

My MIL , step MIL and auntie all in their 60's I don't think their faces aged dramatically, they look great for their age and I think is probably one of those things that you only notice in yourself or in people you've not seen for a considerable amount of time, but it's definitely gradual unless due to illness or accident.