Depressed about salary

[Porcupinesky]

I’m feeling pretty down at the stories today around the national average wage now being £35k.

I only earn just above this amount. I had been offered a better paid role about 4 months ago but found out I was pregnant so turned it down, as I get a good maternity package in this role (25 weeks full pay) so it made better financial sense to stay. I’m waiting for a promotion but the company is tightening finances so I’m uncertain when this can be processed. I’ll probably get a small payrise in April before I start mat leave.

Is anyone else feeling this way? It’s what I think about most of the day. Luckily DH earns a decent salary and pays more bills but it’s a real knock to my self worth as I thought I would achieve more in life.

I understand. I only earn less than 1% more than I was earning back in 2010. Redundancy then a slightly lower paid job and worked my way back up by 2015. Then I had children and eventually left my career because the workload was ruining my life. So I took a big pay cut. I don’t feel great about this pay situation at all.

@Frostytwiglet salary is typically awarded based on perceived value add, not blood sweat or tears. If the only way you can justify your salary is blood, sweat, tears, you need to rethink your priorities and/or redefine your value proposition. I have had many jobs that are less than 40 hours a week but six figure salary - no specialist qualifications either, just ability to perform a role that was difficult to recruit for and willingness to negotiate hard on salary. Some flexibility is expected at senior levels, but it doesn’t need to be a grind all year long - I can be savvy about which meetings I travel for and when I put in extra hours to close a deal / project so that my extra engagement is recognised and valued.

The global average salary is about 8/9k I think. Compare yourself to that you’re doing amazing.

I heard this and it was a punch in the gut for me, I earn below this, but stupidly gave up a well-paid career about 15 years ago and was on nearly £100k then - I feel really depressed about it.

I'm 39, work full time and only earn £23,500 my husband is self employed and works similar hours to me but earns less... I didn't feel depressed or down about our earnings until now, thanks for that

@Porcupinesky use your maternity leave to train in tech. You could easily make double that in a couple of years (if not more)

This will be massively weighted upwards by the really really high earners even though there are fewer of them. There are a lot of people earning 25k or under and getting by.

My wage is way less than that! But I LOVE my job and, for me, the happiness and job satisfaction is worth way more than the pay packet.
However, I am not unaware of how privileged I am to be able to do this job. My DH earns a very good wage which means that the pressure isn’t on me to earn and I can therefore stay in my role. It’s not lost on me that it’s a fortunate position to be in.

Can’t you go back to your old career?

You are earning the average for all working age people, you're in your early 30s. That you earn even marginally above the average by early in your career path surely would suggest you will end up earning above average or significantly above average as your career progresses.

Well, I am 50 in a few months, no mortgage, children are no longer dependent, ish, lol. Got disposable income.
Not the point though!!
Money is not the be all and all to life. Mumsnet seems to be obsessed/braggy about earnings and some of us people do not have the luxury/privilege to negotiate our worth in the jobs that we have chosen/been given and it just sticks in my craw!!

How tiresome

Agree with both of you.

Meh he! Seconded😆

Comparison is the thief of joy.

With high earning roles come other sacrifices, which often go unseen by those coveting the wage.

What fields are you in?

35k is pretty decent but also remember that the average can be skewed by a few people on very high earnings.

There’s no need to feel down-hearted. Admittedly I was a couple of years younger than you but after I had my 2nd (I had 2 close together) at 31 I was sick of being at home with babies and “leaned-in” to my career and it sky-rocketed. I made very quick leaps in terms of seniority/pay and then once the kids were a little older I was able to ease off a bit whilst still earning very well.

You’re still young and just starting your family. If you have a career with good prospects then you’ll get there.

@Labraradabrador I earn a six-figure salary and I'm unconvinced that value-add has any bearing on most, non-fee-earning jobs.
The two behaviours that grind my gears are; senior management assuming that outstanding success by an individual will never be repeated and a steadfast refusal to reward novel thinking.
I have the luxury of jumping ship, but see all too often people adding heavily to the bottom line who are never rewarded for it.

Getting depressed is pointless.
Can you improve your salary or can you make peace with it?
I made peace with mine. At least I like my job and I can probably continue doing it until I'm 81 (if I want). So many people hate their jobs or are even trapped in a high paying job that they hate because they couldn't contemplate any sort of salary cut. At least I don't have those problems. A lot of alternative jobs would be very uncomfortable or unsustainable. My job ticks so many of the boxes I like. Flexible, casual, creative intellectual.

My dad laughingly calls my salary "peanuts". My usual joke is that my salary is much too low to be embarrassing. My salary is equivalent of USD 53k. I have a 25yo cousin (American) who makes US $80k as ... a beautician. Ouch. Another American cousin (age 22) expects to make $80k in about 3 years from now (skilled trade). My son (left school at 16) is mid 20s & his salary is nearly as high as mine. But I wouldn't like any of their jobs at all.

Ehhhh!!! Thought it was jealousy was that particular theif🤔

After 30 years of working I am only a short way above this - in a job that I have to have 2 degrees and an advanced practitioner diploma to do. It is bloody depressing. But I work for the NHS so have just had to accept this is my life.

Actually... cycling thru the city this evening (we had snow today) I noticed a rough sleeper camped on pavement in a sleeping bag... he had no gloves, is what struck me. I'd drink a bottle of wine a night too if it were the only way to sleep in the cold. There are so many agencies offering help people like that, but the rough sleepers can't organise themselves to accept the help. So that's the best that guy could do with his life today.

If you think "that rough sleeper could never be me" then I guess I envy you for that, too. Although it may be sheer self-delusion (!)

I would probably have died of happiness if I’d ever earned anywhere near the national average. I know very few people who do, except on Mumsnet obviously.

@infor this is where ‘perceived’ comes in to value add. There are loads of (often women) who go the extra mile on important but undervalued work (coaching and mentoring?) and then are resentful about lack of recognition. I don’t go the extra mile unless my employer will value it and/or it brings me joy/ job satisfaction.