Attention seeking woman at work driving me insane

[Gloc]

Name changed as outing to anyone that works with her!

She’s driving me insane, seriously - to the point where I have urges to shout at her or literally walk out. Shes so loud, constantly shouting and screaming. She’ll literally scream all of a sudden, waits for everyone to ask what’s wrong and then will say “I’m just so bored!” Or “I’ve just remembered it’s pizza for tea!” Or some other stupid shit.

She’ll randomly throw her papers up in the air and say “it’s stressing me out!” And everyone laughs. What exactly is funny about that?? Maybe the first time I’d laugh but when it’s a weekly thing - not so much

On Friday she suddenly slammed her laptop shut and screamed. Of course everyone was like “what?? What??” And she’s sat there lapping up the attention before declaring “I’ve just seen that my favourite band are touring”. Everyone laughed and said “Jesus I thought it was something serious”. It’s never serious, it’s always something stupid.

She’ll get up and suddenly start dancing - even getting up on the tables etc. at Christmas she brought in a load of those dancing snowmen/santas/clapping monkeys etc, set them up all around the office and turned them all on together. The voice was unbearable. The manager made her get rid of them in the end so she screamed and pretended to cry.

The woman infuriates me. I don’t even know why she annoys me so much. I seem to be the only one not laughing! Before anyone says I’m jealous, trust me - I’m the most introverted person ever, the last thing I want is to be centre of attention

She’s actually making me consider changing my job. I can’t stand it. I’m literally dreading going in tomorrow.

I used to work with someone who's name began with an 'L' who used to cry on cue- all the time- at work. When people asked her what was wrong ( several, mainly men) she would say 'Oh I just cry to relieve tension'. It was so frequent no one reacted in the end, and she stopped. This was 20 years ago, and she was slightly older than me though, so she must be mid 50's now.

Maybe invest in some air pods-they have great noise cancelling and you can listen to whatever music relaxes you?

I agree and will supply an alibi

I just knew it would be a workplace in the Public Sector, particularly the NHS, before the OP confirmed it.

Really? I find that really insulting, ADHD and just being a twat are very different things.

She sounds awful. And mid-40s? I was expecting someone much younger as some people can grow out of an annoying phase but at her age I guess that’s what she’ll be permanently like.

So you actually have a management problem and potentially an HR problem. Which will surprise noone who has dealt with those groups in the NHS.
Its not an accident that the NHS has such a shocking problem of bullying and staff sickness.

No answers for you other than keep on at the manager to do her job.

You can have ADHD and be a twat, they're not mutually incompatible.

To be fair, @Sumthingsweet apologised for this as you’ll see if you read further on.

@MCOut your manager is clearly privy to information that you are not

Not necessarily. Many managers are weak and happy to ignore disruptive behaviour for as long as possible

@daisychain01 I think this is good advice

I had this with a colleague who wouldn't scream but talk constantly. I mean she wouldn't shut up. At all. If she was talking and didnt get a reaction from me or I wasnt talking back, she would then ask me to respond. There was only me and her in the office too. Also lots of crying from her.

After going to management, who were less than useless (toxic fuckers), I ended up resigning. It was a mental health charity too. Ha.

😵‍💫

She sounds ghastly

can you raise a grievance?

Of course, but she suggested that the reason she was being a twat was because she was ADHD.

She does sound like. Bully. I’ve met people like this before. They generally are bullies.

They try to control the environment. Just avoid if you can.

I saw that after I responded. Hard to keep up with usernames 😬

You need a diary of all events and to speak to other colleagues and go to HR as a collective preferably with a union rep., she may have a declared condition.

I used to deal with some very difficult cases as a union rep. To be honest after 12 years I gave up because the organisation I loved and the workers rights I had fought hard for and this is back in the work of equal pay for equal value days campaign was falling by the wayside because I spent so much time representing people with individual issues.

The last straw was dealing with two cases where people did deserve to be sacked, they got totally fair hearings. The first was sacked. They wanted to appeal so they bought in a regional full time rep. I decided to then ask the rep to represent the other person as well and resigned soon after. Their behaviours were not subjective a he said she said scenario, it was easy to track with computer logs, recovered data and phone records. One had been stealing and the other had been running a business from her desk and had everything on her work computer, she had done virtually no actual work for her employer.

I loved being a union rep and equal pay, maternity leave, holiday leave , wages are all worth fighting for as is fairness. But the public sector has a real issue with not being able to get rid of truly awful people, it’s a minority but they really affect the morale of their colleagues.

I used to work with someone like this, she was always screaming and shouting, once pulled her top up and showed everyone her boobs. She was a nightmare.

Underneath it all, she was actually quite dangerous. I won’t go into it but I’m glad I don’t work with her anymore.

I would start keeping a diary of when she does this and I'd ask her why she is doing it every single time.
Then when you have a couple of weeks worth of this documented, I'd schedule a meeting with the manager (presuming you both report to the same manager) asking them how they plan to deal with it.
You shouldn't have to work in an environment where you don't know when the next 'scream' is coming from because you are on high alert at the moment and your nerves are going because of it. It's making a regular work environment very stressful. She needs to be managed so that she can get through a working day without screaming. Then it's a working week without screaming and then every working day.

Does the screamer actually realise that she is doing it and how often she's doing it? Do you think it could be a nervous tic at this point?

I'd be very cautious around this particular individual and taking some of the suggestions mentioned up thread purely based on the comment about bullying that she made about her previous team so you need to be careful and document everything.

I am in the office today and someone keeps muttering under her breath and I am about to turn around and tell her to shut the fuck up so I admire your restraint.

Your manager should be dealing with this. You need to speak to them. If they refuse to manage it properly, speak to HR about the manager.

To add to earlier comment- our one is very vindictive with any perceived slight/lack of attention. It seems to go with the turf with these people. The victim play and the 'hurt' loud visible public crying.
Our manager is weak and is scared of her volatility, but our screamer really needs removed.
I would also say protect yourself from any possible accusations of 'bullying' her. I'm sure there's a reason she's been passed around.

Humans like her are here to test how much love and empathy you have in your heart.

Abso-sodding-lutely not.

Haha, no, mine began with A. She was an absolute nightmare. It was like she had some weird pathological need for attention, even if the attention was negative. If she wasn't getting attention for being loud, weird or hysterical, she would say something outright rude - eg, she once randomly and loudly said something really horrible about another region of the UK, knowing full well that another colleague was from there and still had all her family there.

Also she once physically grabbed me and screamed because she didn't want me to throw away one of my own possessions that was broken. She tried to wrestle it from my hands in the middle of the office.