Attention seeking woman at work driving me insane

[Gloc]

Name changed as outing to anyone that works with her!

She’s driving me insane, seriously - to the point where I have urges to shout at her or literally walk out. Shes so loud, constantly shouting and screaming. She’ll literally scream all of a sudden, waits for everyone to ask what’s wrong and then will say “I’m just so bored!” Or “I’ve just remembered it’s pizza for tea!” Or some other stupid shit.

She’ll randomly throw her papers up in the air and say “it’s stressing me out!” And everyone laughs. What exactly is funny about that?? Maybe the first time I’d laugh but when it’s a weekly thing - not so much

On Friday she suddenly slammed her laptop shut and screamed. Of course everyone was like “what?? What??” And she’s sat there lapping up the attention before declaring “I’ve just seen that my favourite band are touring”. Everyone laughed and said “Jesus I thought it was something serious”. It’s never serious, it’s always something stupid.

She’ll get up and suddenly start dancing - even getting up on the tables etc. at Christmas she brought in a load of those dancing snowmen/santas/clapping monkeys etc, set them up all around the office and turned them all on together. The voice was unbearable. The manager made her get rid of them in the end so she screamed and pretended to cry.

The woman infuriates me. I don’t even know why she annoys me so much. I seem to be the only one not laughing! Before anyone says I’m jealous, trust me - I’m the most introverted person ever, the last thing I want is to be centre of attention

She’s actually making me consider changing my job. I can’t stand it. I’m literally dreading going in tomorrow.

Serious advice-
To manager- Hi, I want to improve my productivity this year- to do this I need to

1. move desk / get “desk screen” (to block distractions)
2. wear ear buds to help me focus when the office gets too noisy

You need to look out for YOU. Be the first person in office to get a better situation, without even mentioning the noisy lady. Just talk to boss about what you want to change for you.

Once you get to move, or wear your ear buds, or get the screen to block distractions, other people will request the same.

if manager says no, bring in a big plant to hide behind, wear the ear buds anyway. If they allow a person to behave unprofessionally in the office, then you can wear earbuds.

not making a diagnosis but I am thinking this person has some issues that no one at work is going to change. She seems to need constant feedback and doesn’t care what it is. Also clearly she doesn’t actually work, she makes the distractions for herself a huge time waster she is!! She will be there for ever.

Your manager 100% knows the situation and is too much of a coward to try to manage this person, use this to your advantage. Don’t even mention the noisy person, just mention the office is noisy. You would prefer a quieter area, to be more productive.

@Sumthingsweet I don’t think it was your comment, don’t worry

Was thoughtless I don’t know enough about adhd to say that - I will def take it on board

Thanks @Sumthingsweet for apologising, I see you meant no harm.

Tbh I read the whole thread dreading someone suggesting the woman has ADHD. The condition (which as you correctly said is serious) does get a lot of stigma and I think women in particular get stereotyped wrongly.

FWIW, and someone with it too like @NeurodivergentBurnout should please say if they disagree, I think women like me with it who are 40+ (a particular generation) in a professional setting are on the whole going to act very differently to the OP's colleague. We'll be trying really hard to control and minimise our reactions after decades of being socialised and shamed into it. And our age as adults means that most of our difficulty with focus is internal (mental) and internalised.

I find it amusing that despite me being the one with ADHD, I interrupt far less than my friends because I'm aware I can and I try really really hard to control my urges to In a group I'm often the quietest, often because I'm a bit overwhelmed by the competing sensory input. I would really struggle with the noise and disruption the woman in the OP's office brings, and I really feel for the OP.

Anyway that's why based on her age and setting and behaviour I don't the OP's colleague has ADHD.

@Gloc as others have said, I think the way forward is to go to your manager, with a written record. Sorry, it sounds so hard.

I'd be very tempted to wait until she screams again, laugh loudly, and yell, "THAR SHE BLOWS!" like the whalers do. If she gets laughter as a response, she's far less likely to repeat it.

yes I understand . People can be quick to label . Does it come under standards of behavior , she might just be venting .

my work is funny we do have some characters I literally get to my desk and don’t leave it to do the rounds as just up to my eyes mostly . The things people say in passing though .. can give examples but tired . Very animated some people and some days it’s nice to listen to others but others I just wish they would be quiet lol

then at the end they say but anyway how are you ? I think as you get older your have less tolerance too ?

I agree with suggestions of distracting attention away from the individual, for example by coughing or by clearly directing the conversation to something else, but I would be wary of doing this by directly making fun of her.

We have no idea what she is going through in her personal life to make her behave like this. To turn her into an object of ridicule seems a bit mean and could have consequences if her mental health is already not good.

Absolute bollocks 😂

@QueenBitch666 😂😂

I remember my first job as a waitress was only young and I use to sing all the time when clearing the trays use to meet this other lady at the bins

once I over heard a more mature lady saying that my name is a lovely girl but I wish she’d bloody stop singing 🙈🤣

I did see the funny side but in my defense what cracked me up about her was she would always give me a weather report - nice out int it .. it’s spitting .. it’s foggy .. it’s drizzle lol people just annoy each other when they see and hear each other daily I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️

I do feel as you get older you understand the impact of your words more and your actions , also the power of silence and not feeling the need to fill it . It is quite enlightening when you stop talking how much you hear ( as you can see I’ve not learnt that much 🫣) night night hope it gets sorted. Erm just grin and bare it op .. lol x

Another lady stops me regularly to ask me where I got my lipstick dress my hair done ha god I’m going on now last one mumsnet - night

anytime somone mentions 'being annoying'or behaving oddly or doing something 'unusal' there is always people ready to jump in to label it - so what is 'normal behaviour' What can happen just because it happens, what can occur without a label?

I have to ask, if she already had a bullying allegation against her, why does she still have a job? Can't anyone get fired for being a disruption, distraction and disturbance any longer?

She'd have been knocked into next week, if she'd have done that when I had a migraine.

I wouldn't say anything to her directly, and certainly don't scream or shout back - do nothing reactive, it could backfire, making you look the weird one.

This is a manager fail. Sounds like they're scared of her.

You'll all have behavioural standards, values, objectives etc to meet, including the manager.

I'd email the manager and set out that you need to have a meeting, writing out the issues.

Express concern for the woman's wellbeing first; that her behaviour suggests something's wrong.

Explain her behaviour is causing you productivity problems, you're distracted, alarmed, upset by her behaviour.

Screaming etc gives you a shock and it's difficult to calm down and get back into focus and on with your work.

Constantly feeling anxious about what she might do next is distracting.

You're concerned about the effect of her behaviour on staff wellbeing - and the manager's own team's productivity, figures, service level agreements etc.

Request the department supply noise cancelling headphones to support your wellbeing and productivity.

Ask what the next steps are.

Take notes at the meeting and email afterwards with a summary of what was said and agreed. I'd be inclined to record it, too.

Humans* like her are here to test how much love and empathy you have in your heart
*
non whatsoever then cos I'd have twatted her by now!

Honestly, I’d pop into HR and state very clearly that she is distracting you from your work and her behaviour is inappropriate. Explain that her OTT behaviour is setting you on edge and making you anxious. She sounds quite manic to me.

Wondering if she actually does any work

I think this post is pretty mean spirited. Her behaviour is obviously not normal, and if you are being given signals to leave the situation alone, your manager is clearly privy to information that you are not.

Now she does sound incredibly annoying, and I sympathise that she’s making your job feel unbearable. Speak to your manager about potentially working in a different space, for example, a meeting room when it’s not in use.

Liking or not liking her has nothing to do with it. Due to her behaviour the OP is now anxious about being in the office. Workplaces where I live have an obligation to provide a psychosocial safe work place. Permitting this extreme, inappropriate workplace behaviour is causing psychological damage to the OP. It certainly is a WHS issue and employers have a duty of care to ALL employees to provide a safe workplace (including psychologically safe), not just select employees.

People react to stimulus differently. Where some of the team may be unaffected by this behaviour, OP is developing anxiety and the behaviour needs to be addressed.

And they WFH is a waste...

And they say WFH is a waste...

Have you a couple of colleagues "on your side"? You could all start doing it!
"ARRRRGHHHHHH! I'VE GOT A NEW BOTTLE OF TIPPEX!!!"