Do all males think like this ffs

[Princessbananahamock]

Met up with old school friend male for a catch up it’s been years. Only for a couple of hours. I left saying when it’s warmer I may pop out again. A perfectly non commitment comment. Roll on a week multiple messages “been thinking of you all week x, fancy meeting up next Saturday or sooner if you can’t wait”
I am actually angry at his presumption that he assumes I’m interested in him in a romantic way! Seriously what goes through their minds. Oh she’s single (separated) she must be in need of a man. My attentions must be what she’s dying to hear. There were more statements but you get the gist. I was not flattered either.
Perhaps he sent those messages after a few drinks but still unacceptable. The whole experience reminded me of the character Mr Collins from Pride and Prejudice.
I don’t think I shall ever be meeting up again!

Misinterpretation of intention is not a crime. Asking someone out is not a crime.

So he got it wrong in this occasion, so
what? Why get angry? Why insinuate he has "crossed a boundary" or done some other creepy stuff. He has just asked someone out who isn't interested in him.

Just decline and move on. Not worth getting upset over it. He was hardly a regular fixture in OP's life.

I would say that if you meet up with a friend, old or new, and realise you are attracted to them, it is fair game, indeed positively helpful, to communicate that fact. Otherwise how would people ever get together? I would rather know if my friends fancied me. Tho I would of course expect them not to keep bringing it up and mithering on if I said I wasn't interested.

If people are expecting men (or women) to ONLY ask out people they KNOW (100%) are interested in them, they’re dreaming.

It’s not a crime to ask someone out. People get let down all the time.

He makes it clear he’s keen. The OP makes it clear she’s not keen.

The planet keeps spinning on its axis.

Not really, just a few similarly overreacting people.

Your attempt to create something out of nothing to be offended at is obvious.

Yes it is cringe and I would definitely be saying no, but getting angry at him? Total overreaction to a guy she barely had had any contact with for years trying his luck.

Yup. This!

But maybe this!

I know you say multiple messages but how many. Are we getting to stalkerish level with several each and every day or just 3 messages say. It makes a difference

His only crime was to mis-read the situation. If you're not interested then a simple answer to that effect will do, no need for any big dramas.
With all the pearl clutchers gasping in horror because a chap has clumsily asked a lady out it's no wonder the birth rate is in decline.
Guess what? That's how we did it in the old days. Your own father could possibley have made a nervous move on your mother, maybe married & now here you are!
And as for the pp who suggested he could have been on hard drugs to have the nerve to ask the op out... 🤣🤣🤣

Or just sharing my opinion without wanting a busybody telling me that she and her chums don’t agree. Just speak for yourself, no need to act like you are speaking for the group with the ‘us’ business.

I made an off hand remark previous via message when I’m free next I’ll meet up. Just for catch up when in area or free time.
However, I had through chit chat on evening I had made my feelings very clear on men, I would not be dating now or future. Just out for laughs and good company.

How is it entitled? They met up (to be honest I wouldn’t meet a man one on one when single unless interested), he thought they got along well and has now sent her some keen (but not X rated) messages asking her back out.

Genuinely if this isn’t how ‘asking people out’ works, then how should it?

And may I add it seems at no point has OP made her disinterest clear so 🤷🏼‍♀️

One thing asking you out but "Or sooner if you can't wait".

Might as well have said "I know you're gagging for it"

@AcrossthePond55 yes he did say something along those lines. He defo knows I didn’t look at him like that years ago I wouldn’t now. I was very to the point.

All I was doing was to touch base with old friends lesson learnt. I was just out for the laugh and a drink.

@BaronessEllarawrosaurus 6 within 15 mins. I think he was in the cider mist or as we say a Natch attack. Then more which I shut down, also he has been muted on friends social media.

So much for me trying to widen my social circle and touch base with old friends !! Which I thought might be good to get myself out and about Ffs we are in our early 50 s.

So? Are people in their early 50s forbidden from asking people out, or seeking romance?!

If you told him you aren’t interested and he persisted then he is unreasonable
If he persisted but you didn’t tell him you’re not interested in him, then you are unreasonable

I had made my feelings very clear on men, I would not be dating now or future

Is it at all possible it was his attempt at being humorous? Being as he knows how anti-dating you are at the moment? As in pulling your leg/being sarcastic/ironic?

This reminds me of a date I went on, a few years back. The guy was really nice but there was no attraction on my side whatsoever. I was polite, friendly, chatty but did not give any signal of fancying him.
He messaged me afterwards and was smitten. Wanted to know when our next date would be, without actually asking me if it would happen.
It honestly made me wonder if we'd been on the same date!

Why would you be offended that somebody has expressed an interested in you? I think that sounds really entitled. You are not the thought police, you either accept the offer or you don't. It's as simple as that.

Even if I had been interested 6 in 15 minutes would have completely put me off. There's polite and courteous ways to ask someone out, bombarding someone with messages is not it

Sadly, some men would interpret "laughs and good company" as sex, if you used those actual words.

Are you sure he isn’t also just looking for laughs and drinks? To widen his social circle too? I don’t understand the blocking and muting of old friends that you still like, and when they still like you over something so minor.