Do all males think like this ffs

[Princessbananahamock]

Met up with old school friend male for a catch up it’s been years. Only for a couple of hours. I left saying when it’s warmer I may pop out again. A perfectly non commitment comment. Roll on a week multiple messages “been thinking of you all week x, fancy meeting up next Saturday or sooner if you can’t wait”
I am actually angry at his presumption that he assumes I’m interested in him in a romantic way! Seriously what goes through their minds. Oh she’s single (separated) she must be in need of a man. My attentions must be what she’s dying to hear. There were more statements but you get the gist. I was not flattered either.
Perhaps he sent those messages after a few drinks but still unacceptable. The whole experience reminded me of the character Mr Collins from Pride and Prejudice.
I don’t think I shall ever be meeting up again!

This is not relentlessly pursuing though, it's a text message!

It’s a fairly innocuous text message.. he’s interested, you are not, just tell him.

Without knowing the number of messages, what was in them, and what your replies to them were, I can't judge if this guy was creepy or not.

The single message you've quoted is fine, IMO. He's telling you how he feels, not presuming how you feel. Is it not OK for him to ask if you're interested?

I'm way too old and committed to be bothering with all this stuff ever again. But "thinking of you all week" is hardly comparable to the dreadful dick pic culture so many suffer from on here.

I don't know about all men but iv had similar. I once had someone say to me that a man I know has said to them that he's gonna get together with me, apparently I had no say in this like I was just gonna fall at his feet. I was like no thanks I'm good 🤣🤣

In my experience, and I’ve been single for over 10 years, is that ALL MEN of a certain age (approaching middle age) is like this, hence why I could never date my own age. They are too presumptuous. Just because they are desperate doesn’t mean I am desperate.

Christ! It’s hardly a dick pic is it? It’s just a text that’s awkwardly worded.

He probably thinks he’s funny.

Misguided and overly optimistic, yes, but not creepy.

YANBU, OP. This is why i only have gay male friends.

At some point all straight males friends got flirty or looked at my boobs, ven though I’m married.

Yes they can blame it on the booze but I’m teetotal and I’m not interested in a friend becoming a letch after a few drinks.

I don't understand why you're angry. Just tell him you don't see him in that way. Maybe he confused the first meet up for a date or something. You sound sensitive.

Getting angry at him for shooting his shot seems like a massive overreaction unless there is something else you've not mentioned. He's hardly a close friend mucking up a pre-existing relationship. What was your reason for meeting up with him after all this time?

But many women aren’t comfortable with being friends with a man who is waiting for an opportunity to hit on her. Don’t encourage women to erode their boundaries.

OP gave him a chance to be a friend, he fucked up and now he can fuck off.

Nope. Just nope.

i cannot see what the poor bloke has done wrong (except the 'unless you can't wait - that woukd have made me roll my eyes hard)

He's a interested & a bit keen, but you're massively over reacting.

just tell him kindy it was nice to see him after x years, but you're not interested in a relationship,

& get over yourself.

Are you a man?

Many women don’t like this behaviour. Read the message again, it’s horrible.

”been thinking of you all week x, fancy meeting up next Saturday or sooner if you can’t wait”

But that is not what happened here. She met up with someone who she knew from a long time ago it looks like once. He got the wrong impression from that meeting and has asked her out. She just needs to say no and move no. Getting angry and talking about boundaries is pointless and quite unreasonable in this case. He has not really done anything wrong other than not be attractive to OP.

He sounds like a bit of an idiot and terribly presumptuous, but he’s a sample size of one — no, all men don’t assume than an innocuous meet-up with an old friend implies they’re hiding a giant crush on you.

Not sure I and others are seeing what you are seeing here I'm afraid.

It seems like it is only "horrible" because OP doesn't fancy him.

She met up with an old school FRIEND and gave him no encouragement.

Why would he think it’s ok to ask her out after seeing her once in just years?

And then telling her ‘if she can’t wait’ like’s desperate.

I would block and delete him without a response.

Actually plenty of others are seeing what I’m seeing, if you read the thread.

Your ‘us vs you’ approach is obvious.

"No, thanks."

I don’t get these ‘she would’ve made it clear if she was interested, FFS’ responses….?

I never made it CLEAR I was interested! Especially in a scenario like this - i.e. on a very first get-together. I would be friendly, but keep my cards close to my chest. I would never make it clear I was interested, for fear of putting myself out there and being rebuffed.

If we’re going to continue with the Pride and Prejudice theme, then plenty of us are far more Jane Bennet in our approach, and keep our cards close to our chest, not giving anything away. At least early on.

The OP has got the ick because she doesn’t like the man. He hasn’t necessarily done anything wrong, other than go a bit overboard with the messaging. If she had liked him, she’d have been fine with him messaging.

Just message back to make your position clear, or if the ick is really that bad, just ghost the poor bastard.

I think it’s the “or sooner if you can’t wait” that gives me the ick. It’s one thing to let the OP know he’s interested, it’s another to imply she’s desperate and he’s God’s
gift.

But that is not what happened here. She met up with someone who she knew from a long time ago it looks like once. He got the wrong impression from that meeting and has asked her out. She just needs to say no and move no. Getting angry and talking about boundaries is pointless and quite unreasonable in this case. He has not really done anything wrong other than not be attractive to OP.

I agree. I mean the 'if you can't wait' would have made me cringe, but I would have read it as a bad attempt at a joke or to flirt.

People get the wrong end of the stick/read too much into situations (of all types) ever day. All it requires is a response that tells him you're not interested. He wants to know if you're interested, a 'no' will suffice.

Some people just love to be outraged.

How many consecutive messages has he sent without you responding, and in what time frame?

If he has sent more than three on the bounce, I would say he is starting to get out of order yeah. But I would feel the same to be honest with that level or pestering for a purely platonic meet up.

He's allowed to fancy you in my opinion, and to communicate this once, in a polite way - there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. However he should take no for an answer, and not keep pestering if you are ignoring him, or have told him you are not interested.

I'm a bit unclear from your post exactly what has been said by him, and by you, and how often.

Hope you are ok anyway. Feeling harassed is not nice.

Well aren’t you lucky he finds you attractive enough to be interested. Stop whining and accept that men chase women so that our species continues. You are, of course, free to reject his advances.

"Saturday or sooner if you can't wait" 😆