To think they are ‘𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘩’

[HansBanan]

Okay, I know it's subjective but I'm some what bored of my in-laws down playing this.
My SIL is 28, well educated, 2 children, lives in London. She's married, husband is about 40, a little older maybe, a high earner (250k ish - chief investment officer for a wealth management company).
They are mortgage free, in a large beautiful house (I'm not sure of the logistics of how this is the case but know they are). 1 car, owned outright. They have credit cards but I'm sure they pay them off monthly and mainly use them for the benefits and rewards.
Their children are young so not school age yet, but it's very clearly they sill be privately educated. I'm not sure how much the bonus her husband receives would be but let's assume it's anywhere between 25k - 125k depending on the firm.
They holiday several times a year, almost always business class.

AIBU to think that is ‘𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘩’? My in-laws are all insisting that in London this is just comfortable but I don't buy it! Especially not with their mortgage free home!
I know it's not my business but it irks me

Yep, definitely rich especially if she works too. If he were the only worker and they had no other income and a large London mortgage, then they would be more in the comfortable bracket.

How are they battling London prices if they are mortgage free? (It’s only really the housing which pushes up the costs?).

I’d answer every time, “cos she married a rich* man and I married your son”. (having told my husband first that it was only cos they were pissing me off, and no shade on him)

*in this context, I wouldn’t use the word rich

I just went on google, put in italic text generator wrote what I wanted and copied it. It felt necessary considering I said rich knowing it's a subjective word, probably more effort than it's worth though!

In my view they are comfortable. Rich are people whose net worth is min £30-35mil after tax. Rich is, tomorrow they can decide they no longer want to work ever and don’t have to adjust their lifestyle to do that.

It’s rich.

MIL is nuts if she thinks it’s a good idea for you to pay £500 for a kids outfit.

My in-laws have never lived a day outside of Cumbria (other than university maybe) and seem convinced that London is an alternate universe where the weekly shop is £700 and you have to pay a tax to breathe.

I think being mortgage free at that age with what sounds like a family house in london is pretty rich.

Of course it’s rich. What planet are your ILs on!

well inheriting a big house in London is gonna help ones finances fo' sho'!

Never mind whether they're rich or not, the comparing would drive me nuts. Come you don't point out that seeing as they're mortgage free, London prices are a bt irrelevant?

Or just say "pay off our mortgage and give me theur salary and I'll get right onto it"?

This is just so odd, and the whole thread comes across like you’re all obsessed with money, you more than the rest. Surely just have your husband tell his parents how much you both earn so the questions stop.

If your BIL is a chief investment officer for an investment firm, he may well earn that in base salary but his bonus is more likely to be multiples of his salary.
That is easier to tally with their lifestyle.

@Janieforever they know how much we earn, that doesn't stop the constant comparisons.

If you have your health. You ARE rich.

Honestly, you just need to laugh at them more!

Yeah, they're rich. I'm comfortable, and my household income is sub 100k.

Yes, rich, and definantly a lot better off than comfortable.

Yes very well off, I don’t know if I’d say rich, but rich gives off million+ in liquid assets in my mind.
So definitely well off.

the comparison would be really annoying to me, do you feel you can just say
”as much as you don’t consider them “rich” mother, they are considerably better of than me and DH currently. We do our best and we work hard. You are really hurting my feelings with constantly comparing us to a couple who have both a sizeable income and a serious inheritance”

then if she persists then it’s get up and leave the room time / hang up the phone time each time she comes out with it.

Ok, then I can only assume they have intellectual needs, as even a young child could understand,

100% this.

I’m not sure of the answer to your question of what SIL in her twenties saw in the much older rich man who had just inherited a large mortgage-free house in London. His personality, maybe? 🤔

They're rich. A salary of £250k puts you in the top 1% of earners in the UK.

Yes, things are a lot more relative in the S.E and London particularly, and they're probably having to spend a lot to maintain the norms of that lifestyle, plus tax etc, so they're probably not quite as rich as ordinary earners might imagine, but they definitely rich.

Are they maybe somewhat misguidedly trying to downplay it so as to sound more in touch with you?

Yes rich.

Your in-laws sound annoying. I'd have a few stock phrases and then change the subject.

"We'd be comfortable if we were mortgage free due to inheritance. Fancy a cuppa?"

"Even if we could afford it, I think it's mad to spend that much on clothes for growing children. Did you watch corrie last night? "

"Maybe once DH inherits, we can fly business class. How much is your house worth again?"

"When people talk about London prices, they're mostly talking about housing. Lucky they don't have to worry about that, eh? Did I show you lovely picture DC drew?'

I'd call your SIL and family very well off, rather than rich, but being mortgage free affords them a significant advantage when it comes to lifestyle.

Yes, that is absolutely rich whether you live in London or not.

I think they are very comfortable and might not always be as they appear to be pissing it up the wall with reckless abandon.

Fast forward 20 years, he might not be working and might not have for 5 to 10 years they might have had to mortgage to cover school fees, she may have no pension because she won't have worked the last 20 years.

She'll be 48; he'll be 60, bald possibly with a belly and innately boring. She'll be bored and contemptuous and unemployable.

I think your IL's should be mature enough to keep their traps shut and to realise that £500 on a child's frock is absurd.